Humor, Post a joke or two.

[!! AI-Holmes!!]

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser. The bartender asks "whoa, buddy. What're we celebrating?" The man replies "I just had my first blow-job".

The bartender smiles and says " well, congratulations. Let me get you another shot on the house!"

The man replies "If 5 shots of Yaeger and a beer chaser don't get the taste out of my mouth, NOTHING will".

[!! AI-Holmes!!]

Three guys are sitting in a bar having a few drinks together.

One guy says, "So tell me, what do you do to drive your wife wild?"

"Well," says the second guy, "After making love, I go out to the garden and pick some roses. Then I take the petals off and sprinkle them all over her body. Then I blow them off with a soft breath that drives her wild."

Next guy says, "After making love, I get some baby oil and massage it gently all over her body, and that drives her wild!"

Last guy says, "When me and the old lady are through, I jump out of bed and wipe my **** on the curtain. Drives her nuts!"

[Point Blank]

i am thinking about humorous stuff but the only funny ones i got are racist jokes.

ok ok i cant hold it.

what's the difference between a book and a mexican?

[Hitman932]

what's the difference between a book and a mexican?

nothing, they're both stupid

[Frozen Butter]

Humor enough?

[prmarcos1]

a grandson visits his grandpa for 3 days day one the grandson sees his grandpa drinking alcohol the grandson says can i have some the grandpa says only if your dick can touch your anus the grandson says no it cant so he walks away the secanod day the grandson sees his grandpa smoking the grandson says can i smoke and the grandpa says only if ur dick can touch your anus the boy tries and it dosent the third day the grandson has a cookie the grandpa says can i have some of your cookie the grandson says only if your dick can touch your anus the grandpa says yes it can then the grandson said "then go **** your self"

[Point Blank]

nothing, they're both stupid

nope books have papers.

[!! AI-Holmes!!]

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[Sweet Pea 50]

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?
There's white out on the monitor.....

[!! AI-Holmes!!]

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.

"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.

"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"

"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another triple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"

"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"

"Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?"

"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said... ...BAD DOG!"