Anyone here get bored with sex?

[Wolfie*]

Anorak speaking on the topic of sex, is like Adrian Broner giving a lecture on quantum physics.

Damn! I'm never picking a fight with you BostonGuy. Throw the ban part out the window. You take no prisoners.

[!! Anorak]

Anorak speaking on the topic of sex, is like Adrian Broner giving a lecture on quantum physics.

Maybe I need to talk about how I have regular sex with moms in the Boston area. It gets dull though... they only love ****.


But today I had problems getting a stiff, I have to confess... I kept getting floppy.

Maybe wanking over Facebook isn't doing it for me anymore.

[The Noose]

Id like you to expand on your carpet munching.

Tales of a floppy c0ck and pathetic doggy style is all well and good, but we want success stories.
Do you slap and claw the minge or tease it like a stoned lesbian? I know i need tips in that area.

[!! Anorak]

Id like you to expand on your carpet munching.

Tales of a floppy c0ck and pathetic doggy style is all well and good, but we want success stories.
Do you slap and claw the minge or tease it like a stoned lesbian? I know i need tips in that area.

I go for three main tips:

1. Worship them as a woman down there;

2. Imagine you're a kitten drinking a saucer of milk;

3. Allah Allah Akbad in the name of Shria and the prophet Mohammed.

[The Noose]

So meow and grow a huge beard and dont eat pork.

P.B.U.H.

[Straight Up]

One thing - and I don't like to brag - but I consider myself very good at oral sex.

I think of it like Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, where you try and bank 2-3, so even if the sex isn't good, they still can't complain that much. Even if you shoot your load early, they're still going home with those orgasms in your gob as a consolation prize.

However, it sets up too much anticipation, I find. Frankly, I probably give myself an "A" for licking fanny (pussy, Fat Yanks), so after they've flooded my tonsils twice, they're thinking "Christ, that was great oral sex... he must be excellent at penetrative sex."

That's where it all goes wrong.

Never give someone a good time before showing them a bad one. It's like buying them an ice cream then giving them a kick in the ****. Or buying them a Christmas present, only for it to be a piece of dog shit wrapped up.

aaaaah shit exactly what my situation is most of the time.