Anyone here get bored with sex?

[baya]

Honestly... it's overrated. I'm not an exercise freak - I must be a fugging BETA - and it's a drain sometimes. Like running a marathon.

Last time I did it, I went through three distinct phases:

Three minutes in - "****, am I gonna cum early and make a twat of myself? Concentrate... concentrate..."

Five minutes in - "Thank God, I don't wanna cum now, I know I can last for ages."

Six minutes in - "Oh ****, now I've got a stitch. I need my second wind."

Ten minutes in - "I'm getting a bit bored now. Wish I'd just had a wank instead."


Plus, it costs me a fortune in candy bars. But what about you guys?

...... the man always delivers.

[Tom Cruise]

Sex for me is much like I imagine Khan vs Garcia was like forKhan.

You go into it nervous and excited. Always worried that it could end at any moment, but confident you have the skills to pull you through.

But when it begins you are feeling good. Smooth, coordinated, it looks like a masterclass in there. ****ing amazing. Going better than you could ever expect.

Then things start to turn. Where before it looked this could go on all night, suddenly everything looks a bit more shaky. Nerves start to kick in and everything seems to go a bit hazy. Going harder and faster seems to be the best option but that only seems to make things worse.

Before you know it, its over. The shot you didnt see coming. You keep plugging away because you're a trooper. But everyone knows its done. Spent. You plead that youre ok and ready to continue but no one is buying it

Disappointment is felt all around. But there is promise that next time could be better. If only you'd been smarter. Backed off when things started going downhill, clinched hard when on the brink, you could have walked away with your head held high.

Next time. Next time will be different.

Lmao!!!!
I traveled for a while and lived in a campervan with my dog (amstaff)
Anyway i was riding this english bird, as i started to smash hard he would bark with every slap! By the end i was going hammer and tongs and he was flat out going off!
I came, pulled out and turned round and just said good boy to my dog!
For some reason she thought it was weird, but for me it felt more like me and my boy just destroyed this bird.

[Derranged]

No because I bang two new women per day every day of the week. You weak sniveling betas can't compete with my super alpha man meat.

[!! Anorak]

Lol!!!

Got to admit that was hilarious!!! cat gender?

It was a male cat.

Are they tastier?

[!! Anorak]

Lmao!!!!
I traveled for a while and lived in a campervan with my dog (amstaff)
Anyway i was riding this english bird, as i started to smash hard he would bark with every slap! By the end i was going hammer and tongs and he was flat out going off!
I came, pulled out and turned round and just said good boy to my dog!
For some reason she thought it was weird, but for me it felt more like me and my boy just destroyed this bird.

Sounds like the dog missed his turn.

[!! Anorak]

Lmao!!!!
I traveled for a while and lived in a campervan with my dog (amstaff)
Anyway i was riding this english bird, as i started to smash hard he would bark with every slap! By the end i was going hammer and tongs and he was flat out going off!
I came, pulled out and turned round and just said good boy to my dog!
For some reason she thought it was weird, but for me it felt more like me and my boy just destroyed this bird.

lmao!!! chinga!!!! ahahaha!!!

Kadyo's not laughing at the punchline there... he's just pissing himself at the thought that the guy didn't stop screwing and put the oven on.

[!! Anorak]

...... the man always delivers.

I try and be a bit subtler with those taboo breakers these days, just so I can go a week without another ban.

[KRITKL]

Sex for me is much like I imagine Khan vs Garcia was like forKhan.

You go into it nervous and excited. Always worried that it could end at any moment, but confident you have the skills to pull you through.

But when it begins you are feeling good. Smooth, coordinated, it looks like a masterclass in there. ****ing amazing. Going better than you could ever expect.

Then things start to turn. Where before it looked this could go on all night, suddenly everything looks a bit more shaky. Nerves start to kick in and everything seems to go a bit hazy. Going harder and faster seems to be the best option but that only seems to make things worse.

Before you know it, its over. The shot you didnt see coming. You keep plugging away because you're a trooper. But everyone knows its done. Spent. You plead that youre ok and ready to continue but no one is buying it

Disappointment is felt all around. But there is promise that next time could be better. If only you'd been smarter. Backed off when things started going downhill, clinched hard when on the brink, you could have walked away with your head held high.

Next time. Next time will be different.

Sounds like you need a new trainer.

I only get bored of sex with my wife.

[The Noose]

Emile Heskey.

Fool proof.

I dont know Heskey well enough.
I may have to carry a photo of him around with me and pop it on the bedside table whenever i get laid.

[Rocky...]

Yeah theirs plenty times i cant be annoyed with it, other times when in the mood you cant get enough, suppose eveybody is diffrent.