Tweet
The DAZN commentary team last night...
... Bloody Hell. Shut. the. fuck. up. for. five. bastard. seconds.
On and on and on and on, like your gran telling you about the price of her latest gas bill.
I live in the UK, and these past few weeks we've had statements in the media from Russian spokesmen saying how easy it would be for Russia to annihilate England with a nuclear attack. Quite a scary thought, perhaps, but after spending twelve rounds of these inane cunts not shutting up for a SINGLE SECOND I was ready to phone up ***** and ask him to press the red button to put me out of my fucking misery.
The dozy twats seemed surprised that the fight was close. But I want to be told what's going on in the ring, not in their own minds. If you're that hot for Canelo, go to his dressing room before the fight, suck his freckly ginger cock, then come back out and talk to us about boxing.
At the start of the first round - before they've even walked across the ring - we're learning how the big strategy of the fight will be Canelo landing body shots. And I'm waiting for them to say the rest, like what GGG's (or Triple H as one dozy cunt called him) strategy would be. But......... no, that's it. That's yer lot.
I'll say straight up, just so you can go "yo, now eye unnnerstan, yew are just salteee becus ur man had a loooose/a lost" - I scored it for GGG.
Wait, hear me out.
It was CLOSE. I have no issue with the decision, no issue with a draw - whatever, really. A lot of close, scrappy rounds, unless you're listening to those ****s. Let's give an example:
Rounds 1-2: I gave these two to GGG, the next three (so 3-5 if you can't count) to Canelo. Some close, some scrappy, whatever. You might remember in the first couple of rounds it was tentative, they were taking a look, not much was happening and Canelo wasn't stepping in at that point, so lots of it was at long distance. Which will obviously favour (favor, Fat Yanks) GGG with the longer reach and the slower handspeed, who can pick up points with the jab. Alvarez wasn't committing to the first couple, it was a slow start, it wasn't like GGG was dominating or anything, but the jab was scoring.
But all we hear is "GGG doesn't look like the same fighter he was four years ago, he looks older." Of COURSE he fucking does, you dopey cunts. He IS older FFS. What next - "I think shit comes out yer arse"?
Rounds 6-8: Now, I gave two of these to GGG - and, I confess, I do have a slight bias towards him that I tried to counter in scoring, I don't believe it played a part. Round 6 was close, as was round 8 - though I confess, the constant PRATTLE was really starting to get to me by round 8 so anyone could have won that round I was so distracted - maybe Chris Eubank won it, I dunno. Hopkins, maybe.
But the key point here is round 7. Now, Canelo seemed to drop his output and be having a bit of a breather here. And it's at this point in the fight that the amazing psychic powers of the commentary team kick in.
"Canelo biding his time... " WTF?
"And Triple G has just blinked his eyelids, a sure sign that he's crapping his pants. Expect to see piss and shit down the back of his legs any time now."
I want to hear what's going on IN THE RING. Not the thoughts of mind readers, or a fanboy account of whatever Canelo is doing. The only time punches landed was really discussed was when they started talking about Compubox FFS.
Rounds 9-11: Even the commentary team admitted that GGG was doing pretty well here.
Round 12: That was a scrappy, mauling round. I didn't really know how to score it for. I believe it was here (or the previous round) where Canelo missed with an uppercut. "GGG didn't even see it coming!!!!!" - that's right, one boxer misses with a punch and it's STILL the other guy that's a daft cunt for it.
I had it 116-112 Golovkin (no, I'm not taking the piss) but can see a stretch of any score all the way up to 115-113 Canelo. I don't have any particular issue with him winning, although GGG must be credited with trying to box rather than brawl here... I think that was a lot of the issue, the commentary team coming in with unrealistic preconceptions. The guy isn't the ****er he was, obviously, so did some cute work that he wasn't credited for, because he wasn't being what they expected him to be. Although he had slowed, all talk about "Canelo is faster" is a pretty moot point, given that's always been the case anyway.
I honestly think Canelo could be getting arse ****d down an alleyway with a broken bottle and they'd still be saying "He's playing possum right there, another round for Canelo."
See, I honestly don't mind who won or lost, or even if they'd done the opposite and gone down on GGG all night. It was just unprofessional commentary, and INCESSANT.
Take a breath. I don't need to hear you talking CONSTANTLY. I'm trying to watch the fucking fight.
That guy with the goat dreadlocks can go fuck himself as well. Irritates me. And "DAZN" is pronounced "DAZ-nnnnn." If you wanna have a channel called DAZONE, CALL IT DaZone. Cunts.
On and on and on and on, like your gran telling you about the price of her latest gas bill.
I live in the UK, and these past few weeks we've had statements in the media from Russian spokesmen saying how easy it would be for Russia to annihilate England with a nuclear attack. Quite a scary thought, perhaps, but after spending twelve rounds of these inane cunts not shutting up for a SINGLE SECOND I was ready to phone up ***** and ask him to press the red button to put me out of my fucking misery.
The dozy twats seemed surprised that the fight was close. But I want to be told what's going on in the ring, not in their own minds. If you're that hot for Canelo, go to his dressing room before the fight, suck his freckly ginger cock, then come back out and talk to us about boxing.
At the start of the first round - before they've even walked across the ring - we're learning how the big strategy of the fight will be Canelo landing body shots. And I'm waiting for them to say the rest, like what GGG's (or Triple H as one dozy cunt called him) strategy would be. But......... no, that's it. That's yer lot.
I'll say straight up, just so you can go "yo, now eye unnnerstan, yew are just salteee becus ur man had a loooose/a lost" - I scored it for GGG.
Wait, hear me out.
It was CLOSE. I have no issue with the decision, no issue with a draw - whatever, really. A lot of close, scrappy rounds, unless you're listening to those ****s. Let's give an example:
Rounds 1-2: I gave these two to GGG, the next three (so 3-5 if you can't count) to Canelo. Some close, some scrappy, whatever. You might remember in the first couple of rounds it was tentative, they were taking a look, not much was happening and Canelo wasn't stepping in at that point, so lots of it was at long distance. Which will obviously favour (favor, Fat Yanks) GGG with the longer reach and the slower handspeed, who can pick up points with the jab. Alvarez wasn't committing to the first couple, it was a slow start, it wasn't like GGG was dominating or anything, but the jab was scoring.
But all we hear is "GGG doesn't look like the same fighter he was four years ago, he looks older." Of COURSE he fucking does, you dopey cunts. He IS older FFS. What next - "I think shit comes out yer arse"?
Rounds 6-8: Now, I gave two of these to GGG - and, I confess, I do have a slight bias towards him that I tried to counter in scoring, I don't believe it played a part. Round 6 was close, as was round 8 - though I confess, the constant PRATTLE was really starting to get to me by round 8 so anyone could have won that round I was so distracted - maybe Chris Eubank won it, I dunno. Hopkins, maybe.
But the key point here is round 7. Now, Canelo seemed to drop his output and be having a bit of a breather here. And it's at this point in the fight that the amazing psychic powers of the commentary team kick in.
"Canelo biding his time... " WTF?
"And Triple G has just blinked his eyelids, a sure sign that he's crapping his pants. Expect to see piss and shit down the back of his legs any time now."
I want to hear what's going on IN THE RING. Not the thoughts of mind readers, or a fanboy account of whatever Canelo is doing. The only time punches landed was really discussed was when they started talking about Compubox FFS.
Rounds 9-11: Even the commentary team admitted that GGG was doing pretty well here.
Round 12: That was a scrappy, mauling round. I didn't really know how to score it for. I believe it was here (or the previous round) where Canelo missed with an uppercut. "GGG didn't even see it coming!!!!!" - that's right, one boxer misses with a punch and it's STILL the other guy that's a daft cunt for it.
I had it 116-112 Golovkin (no, I'm not taking the piss) but can see a stretch of any score all the way up to 115-113 Canelo. I don't have any particular issue with him winning, although GGG must be credited with trying to box rather than brawl here... I think that was a lot of the issue, the commentary team coming in with unrealistic preconceptions. The guy isn't the ****er he was, obviously, so did some cute work that he wasn't credited for, because he wasn't being what they expected him to be. Although he had slowed, all talk about "Canelo is faster" is a pretty moot point, given that's always been the case anyway.
I honestly think Canelo could be getting arse ****d down an alleyway with a broken bottle and they'd still be saying "He's playing possum right there, another round for Canelo."
See, I honestly don't mind who won or lost, or even if they'd done the opposite and gone down on GGG all night. It was just unprofessional commentary, and INCESSANT.
Take a breath. I don't need to hear you talking CONSTANTLY. I'm trying to watch the fucking fight.
That guy with the goat dreadlocks can go fuck himself as well. Irritates me. And "DAZN" is pronounced "DAZ-nnnnn." If you wanna have a channel called DAZONE, CALL IT DaZone. Cunts.
Comment