Pinoy Lang

[MaD RoBoT]

anak: daddy may boyfriend na po ako!
daddy: talaga anak
Anak: 0po
Daddy: mabait ba yang bf mo?
Anak: 0p0
Daddy: makaDiyos ba yan?
Anak: sobra
Daddy: 0h asan sya ngaun?
Anak: andun po sa simbahan
sya yung nagmimisa.

[MaD RoBoT]

N0EL: ippangalan
ko s aking anak
“LE0N” baliktad ng
N0EL.

NIN0: skin “0NIN”
baliktad ng NINO.

T0T0: wg ny0
ak0ng maisali-sali jan s usapan ny0!

[MaD RoBoT]

ama: (pasigaw) anak,pagbagsak ka sa exam mo,kalimutan mo na ako ha?
(after exam)
ama: anak ,kamusta exam?
anak: who u?

[MaD RoBoT]

Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung
sweets.
Jinky: Nasan honey? Ang lambing mo naman.
May pasalubong ka pa sakin!
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. Ang dilim
kaya!

[MaD RoBoT]

Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and Erap?

A. Cory can`t tell a lie
Gloria can`t tell the truth
Erap can`t tell the difference

[lebrick]

TEACHER: imagine u are a millionaire
write your life history
(1 boy didn’t write)
TEACHER: why are u not writing?
BOY: i’m waiting for my secretary!

Sa restaurant

LOLO: Pwe! WAITER!!!

Waiter: Yes Sir?

LOLO: Ano ba ‘tong steak na ‘to? Ang tigas tigas!

(Tinikman ng waiter ang steak)

Waiter: Malambot naman po at juicy pa.

LOLO: Paano ‘di lalambot ‘yan? 30 minutes ko ng nginunguya.

[MaD RoBoT]

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez,
the son of a Mexican restaurateur,entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who
said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' "

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.
Patrick Henry, 1775." Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said,
"Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish
from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro:
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed!
Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you
do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said, "You little ****. If you say
anything else, I'll kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra
Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor,
someone said, "Oh ****, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

[MaD RoBoT]

Spanish teacher: Class use 'fuera' in a sentence.
Student: Mis maestras son bonitas (my teachers
are beautiful).
Teacher: Oh, that's very flattering but where's
'fuera'?
Student: Fuera ka!

[lebrick]

BOY: Lola ingat po kayo dyan…. nangangagat ho ang mga aso dyan.

LOLA: alam ko iho. sa tanda kong to wala pa kong nakitang aso na nanununtok… A*** ka ba?

a*** si lola..

ama: (pasigaw) anak,pagbagsak ka sa exam mo,kalimutan mo na ako ha?
(after exam)
ama: anak ,kamusta exam?
anak: who u?

hu u?

[MaD RoBoT]

NANAY: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di mo kayang
bilangin?
ANAK: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi narinig ko minsan
sabi, "tama na
inday, hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko."