~The Official Limey Jokes Thread~

[medium-deek]

I don't think so.

neither do I.

[supaduck]

American jokes aren't funny. I didn't laugh or even smile at any of nextrocky's.

[supaduck]

i think americans don't get british jokes because you have to know a few stereotypes, i.e a stereotypical scotsman, englishman, welshman and (northern) irishman...

[Da Iceman]

i think americans don't get british jokes because you have to know a few stereotypes, i.e a stereotypical scotsman, englishman, welshman and (northern) irishman...

thats kind of why i dont get any of them. my jokes were pretty good.

[supaduck]

probably... I don't know a sterotypical italian or anything like that

[???]

Here are two good ones I heard yesterday.

A young kid was walking down the hall one day parents room when he heard moaning and groaning from it. He looks in and sees them having sex. The next day his father goes past his sons room and hears moaning and groaning. He looks in and sees his son having sex with his fathers mother. The son then says "You don't like it when I fuck your mum do you?"

The were two girls sitting down one day and one of them goes, "Look there's my husband with a big bunch of flowers. I'll be laying on my back for the whole weekend with my legs open." Then the other girl says, "Don't you have a vase?"

[JulioCesaChavez]

Englishman, Scottishman and Irishman were working on a building site. They had their pack lunches on the roof everyday. Englishman opens his lunchbox and says 'I ****ing hate ham sandwiches, if I get these tomorrow I will kill myself!'. Scots man opens his lunchbox and says 'I ****ing hate salmon sandwiches, if I get these tomorrow I'm jumping off the building'. Irishman opens his box and says 'I ****ing hate cheese sandwiches, if I get these tomorrow then I'm jumping off too!'.

The next day, The englishman got ham, so he jumped off the building and killed himself. Scottishman got salmon so jumped off too. Irishman got cheese, so jumped off the building and killed himself!!!

At the funral the Englishmans wife was crying and said 'If only I knew John hated ham, he would be alive today!!'.

Scotsmans wife wailed and exclaimed 'If only I knew Angus hated salmon, he wouldn't have died such a horrible death!'.

The Irishman's wife looked on in confusions. After a little while she mumbles..........


'I don't understand, Paddy made his own bloody sandwiches!'.