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Yesterday’s dreadful offerings:
AVP: Requiem 2/10
Barely scraped a ‘2’. Made the first AVP look like Schindler’s List. A terrible B-movie, shot almost entirely in the dark to hide how appalling the FX was. Cardboard cutout human characters, dreadful xenomorphs and no action. The directors basically managed to turn Alien into a teen slasher flick. Dire.
The Boy And The Beast 5/10
I’ve found former Digimon showrunner Mamoru Hosada’s foray into feature films an uneven experience so far (The Girl Who Leapt Through Time very average, Summer Wars good and Wolf Children absolutely superb), and TBATB is probably his weakest offering so far. Focused on a fantastical proxy father-son relationship between the titular characters, the plot is predictable until it turns downright weird towards the end and the film suffers from some desperately uninspired voice acting. The evil, invisible shadow whale (don’t ask) is stunningly animated, though.
The Expendables 3/10
I knew it was going to be unrealistic. I knew it was going to be predictable. I knew it was going to be heavy on the testosterone and light on the brains. What I didn’t know was how unfunny, derivative and downright boring it was going to be. What’s the point in bringing all these legendary action stars together if there aren’t any good one liners? They can’t act, so you need humour in the script to move everything along nicely. And don’t get me started on Stallone’s abysmal direction...
AVP: Requiem 2/10
Barely scraped a ‘2’. Made the first AVP look like Schindler’s List. A terrible B-movie, shot almost entirely in the dark to hide how appalling the FX was. Cardboard cutout human characters, dreadful xenomorphs and no action. The directors basically managed to turn Alien into a teen slasher flick. Dire.
The Boy And The Beast 5/10
I’ve found former Digimon showrunner Mamoru Hosada’s foray into feature films an uneven experience so far (The Girl Who Leapt Through Time very average, Summer Wars good and Wolf Children absolutely superb), and TBATB is probably his weakest offering so far. Focused on a fantastical proxy father-son relationship between the titular characters, the plot is predictable until it turns downright weird towards the end and the film suffers from some desperately uninspired voice acting. The evil, invisible shadow whale (don’t ask) is stunningly animated, though.
The Expendables 3/10
I knew it was going to be unrealistic. I knew it was going to be predictable. I knew it was going to be heavy on the testosterone and light on the brains. What I didn’t know was how unfunny, derivative and downright boring it was going to be. What’s the point in bringing all these legendary action stars together if there aren’t any good one liners? They can’t act, so you need humour in the script to move everything along nicely. And don’t get me started on Stallone’s abysmal direction...
8/10
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