Originally posted by Hitman932
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My poem for creative writing class.
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Originally posted by Hitman932 View PostThanks.
I used to write a lot when I was younger and then I turned more to songwriting when I started playing guitar.
I liked the poem, but I didn't get much feedback in class. I hd a girl who was my editing partner and all she did was read my stuff and say "wow, thats really good, mine sucks"
Honest feedback appreciated. Good or Bad.
to me, it was like a hard toiled guy that's been beat up all the time and then he finally dies. normally somebody would think that story would be tragic but then you ended it by showing death as a comforter. that was my take at least. the fact that you're having all these different takes should say that it's pretty good ****.
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This is a prententious piece of **** writing.
**** me if I ever decide to read another one of these student pieces.
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It sounds good. Honestly, I hate poetry. Reading and writing it. I like Jack Handey, that's about it.
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Originally posted by Hitman932 View Post**** me if you're ever not a miserable **** for more than 3 days straight.
And besides, all these allusions are really not to my liking, I like more straightforward poetry.
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Originally posted by BrooklynBomber View Post
And besides, all these allusions are really not to my liking, I like more straightforward poetry.
I like ee cummings, this is my favorite
[somewhere i have never travelled]
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small handsLast edited by Hitman932; 01-04-2009, 10:32 PM.
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Originally posted by Hitman932 View PostI know you do, but I don't
I like ee cummings, this is my favorite
[somewhere i have never travelled]
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near
your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose
or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands
Thats too much, even for me. I am a much bigger fan of english literature then poetry.
All that imagery is too alien for my tri-lingual brain.
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Originally posted by BrooklynBomber View PostThats too much, even for me. I am a much bigger fan of english literature then poetry.
All that imagery is too alien for my tri-lingual brain.
So reading poetry is in my best interest. Reading books longer than Kurt Vonnegut length is hard on me.
I've written poems I like a lot more and this one (I usually dont make it a point to rhyme) isn't really my style but it is the one my teacher wants to publish and since I don't feel strongly about it i wanted the input of others.
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