I've seen a lot of talk over this lately, so let's take a look at this "modern great", eh?
(Before anyone starts, I've got three Yanks in my sig, and all of my favourite middleweights are Americans... just not Bore Hard).
The Beginnings: Loses his first fight on points against the legendary Clinton Mitchell, a guy who went on to have three more fights before being KTFO by another nobody. The legendary Bore Hard has arrived!! After 22 more fights against such stellar competition as "Who The **** Is He?" and "I Haven't Got A ****ing Clue" Bore Hard steps up and carves out a HOF career by taking on Roy Jones Jr. Calzaghe hasn't got anyone on his ledger that's near the status of Roy Jones. What's that? Hopkins LOST the fight to Roy Jones? STFU, ***got!!
Middleweight champ: Nearly two years after this defeat he finally becomes a champ by taking a vacant IBF belt against the awe-inspring Segundo Mercado, a guy he'd previously fought to a draw with. After this he spends the next five years defending that single belt during his "prime" by taking on such red hot competition as Steve Frank, Joe Lipsey, Robert Allen and William Bo James. The first bout with Allen is a No Contest, which goes towards his "twenty defences" (WTF???) Glen Johnson is a rare abberation in this line up of mediocrity.
The Unification Years: Bore Hard takes another belt against the incomparable Keith Holmes, then cements his legacy by beating Tito Trinidad, a man whose ideal weight was 13lbs below and who had had just one bout at middleweight, stopping the mighty William Joppy. More greats follow on Bore Hard's resume, with Morrade Hakkar and Carl Daniels falling to this legend. By this time Bore Hard has all the belts, and impresses by getting a UD over Joppy, the man who had been KO'd in five by a welterweight.
The Legendary Years: Bore Hard takes on Oscar De La Hoya, a two foot Mexican who had one fight at middle, looking **** in doing so, and even his own mother gives him no chance. The entire Boxing Scene forum says that Oscar is too small, doesn't have a hope in ****ing Hell, yet when he takes a dive (causing Bert Sugar to christen him "The Acting Amigo") all of a sudden Bore Hard has beat a "P4P great". P4P is right... he's a great at several pounds below middleweight. Bore Hard follows up on this by playing kiss-chase with Howard Eastman.
The Fall: Bore Hard takes on Jermain "Sad Intentions" Taylor, the guy who gets gift decisions with tiny guys and gets KTFO by someone his own size. Calzaghe hasn't had anyone like that on his ledger, STFU it doesn't matter that Bore Hard lost, etc. Bore Hard's clever strategm of "I can beat any great fighter... as long as they're a lot smaller than I am" is now set in stone.
The Rise: Bore Hard campains at Light Heavy, where he beats a weight-drained, only-regarded-because-he-beat-a-shot-Roy-Jones Antonio Tarver. The world sucks his ****. Consolodates this achievement by "showing mad skillz" (pulling his arms down and butting him in the face) against the plainly smaller Winky Wright, whose best weight was 154lbs.
All hail Bore Hard! He's a ****ing LEGEND!!!!
(Before anyone starts, I've got three Yanks in my sig, and all of my favourite middleweights are Americans... just not Bore Hard).
The Beginnings: Loses his first fight on points against the legendary Clinton Mitchell, a guy who went on to have three more fights before being KTFO by another nobody. The legendary Bore Hard has arrived!! After 22 more fights against such stellar competition as "Who The **** Is He?" and "I Haven't Got A ****ing Clue" Bore Hard steps up and carves out a HOF career by taking on Roy Jones Jr. Calzaghe hasn't got anyone on his ledger that's near the status of Roy Jones. What's that? Hopkins LOST the fight to Roy Jones? STFU, ***got!!
Middleweight champ: Nearly two years after this defeat he finally becomes a champ by taking a vacant IBF belt against the awe-inspring Segundo Mercado, a guy he'd previously fought to a draw with. After this he spends the next five years defending that single belt during his "prime" by taking on such red hot competition as Steve Frank, Joe Lipsey, Robert Allen and William Bo James. The first bout with Allen is a No Contest, which goes towards his "twenty defences" (WTF???) Glen Johnson is a rare abberation in this line up of mediocrity.
The Unification Years: Bore Hard takes another belt against the incomparable Keith Holmes, then cements his legacy by beating Tito Trinidad, a man whose ideal weight was 13lbs below and who had had just one bout at middleweight, stopping the mighty William Joppy. More greats follow on Bore Hard's resume, with Morrade Hakkar and Carl Daniels falling to this legend. By this time Bore Hard has all the belts, and impresses by getting a UD over Joppy, the man who had been KO'd in five by a welterweight.
The Legendary Years: Bore Hard takes on Oscar De La Hoya, a two foot Mexican who had one fight at middle, looking **** in doing so, and even his own mother gives him no chance. The entire Boxing Scene forum says that Oscar is too small, doesn't have a hope in ****ing Hell, yet when he takes a dive (causing Bert Sugar to christen him "The Acting Amigo") all of a sudden Bore Hard has beat a "P4P great". P4P is right... he's a great at several pounds below middleweight. Bore Hard follows up on this by playing kiss-chase with Howard Eastman.
The Fall: Bore Hard takes on Jermain "Sad Intentions" Taylor, the guy who gets gift decisions with tiny guys and gets KTFO by someone his own size. Calzaghe hasn't had anyone like that on his ledger, STFU it doesn't matter that Bore Hard lost, etc. Bore Hard's clever strategm of "I can beat any great fighter... as long as they're a lot smaller than I am" is now set in stone.
The Rise: Bore Hard campains at Light Heavy, where he beats a weight-drained, only-regarded-because-he-beat-a-shot-Roy-Jones Antonio Tarver. The world sucks his ****. Consolodates this achievement by "showing mad skillz" (pulling his arms down and butting him in the face) against the plainly smaller Winky Wright, whose best weight was 154lbs.
All hail Bore Hard! He's a ****ing LEGEND!!!!

Comment