Briggs: I'll crush David Haye!

The following article appears on box.confidentioal which will get some limeys out of the couch: Former two-time world heavyweight champion Shannon Briggs has never fought in England but now he is ready to do just that. Briggs, who is ranked ninth by one of the Alphabet Groups, tells Boxingconfidential.com that he is willing to travel to the UK if he gets enough Euros to fight heavyweight hopeful David “Hayemamker” Haye. “I know that Haye is charismatic like me,” Briggs said. “He likes to run his mouth like me. And, also like me, he punches like a mule kicks. He really packs a wallop. “But he’s been playing in the baby end of the pool, you know where it’s only three feet deep. Knocking out cruiserweights is beating on toddlers, really. If he wants to test the heavyweight waters, I will be glad to accommodate the young lad.” Briggs said he has a revenge angle to such a bout because Haye’s promoter is diminutive but volatile Fearless Frank Maloney, ex-manager of world champ Lennox Lewis. “Frank had to change his white pants when I nearly knocked Lennox out in our fight,” Briggs said. “I had Lewis hurt but inexperience and my asthma held me back. Eventually, I collapsed. But Haye is a smaller man and not as strong or formidable as Lewis was back then. “I would crush Haye’s heavy dreams and send him back to the junior varsity meaning the clueless class of cruiserweights. Even the name sounds like a group of mincing chaps, like hey, “I am a cruiser.” I will expose the fraudlent heavyweight and drop him back where he belongs.” As proof of his eagnerness to hammer Haye, Briggs added one more news flash. “I’m sitting by the phone, old chaps, so don’t hesitate to ring me up and offer a hearty “cheerio.” But I will need some serious money to sort Haye out as well.”