Funny Boxing Quotes

Don King, on boxing's rating system: "When we started, it was based on lies. It's changing now. There are no secrets in the business. You've got to come with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It's becoming very confusing." Bob Arum, replying to a reporters question. "Yesterday I was lying, today I am telling the truth." Muhammad Ali: "If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." Buddy McGirt, when he was asked by Gil Clancy who would win the up-coming fight between Maurice Blocker and Glenwood Brown he replied: "The black guy." Harry Carpenter: "This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose." Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts: "To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other." Muhammed Ali, after failing an Army intelligence test, "I said I was the greatest, not the smartest." Brian London, answering if he would fight Ali again: "Sure, as long as he ties a 56 lb. weight to each leg." Willie Pep: "I've got it made. I've got a wife and a TV set -- and they're both working." Here is a conversation between George Foreman and Bob Arum in 1995, Foreman: "Bob, I can't chase these guys anymore." Arum's reply: "George, I cant put it in the contracts that they can't run." Randall "Tex" Cobb: "If you screw things up in tennis, it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass." Bob Hope: "I was called "Rembrandt" Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas." Bob Arum, after his fighter, Iran Barkley, beat Darrian Van Horn: "If you think Barkley was mad before the fight, wait until he sees how many people are taking part of his purse." Marlene Bugner, wife of Joe Bugner: "I don't know what impressive is, but Joe was impressive tonight." Muhammad Ali, on heavyweight boxing champion Sonny Liston: "He's too ugly to be the champ!" Jim Watt, former WBC lightweight champion, when asked about his "white complexion" by a reporter said: "I'm like a bottle of milk with gloves." Tony Galento, when asked about Shakespeare: "I ain't never heard of him. I suppose he's one of them foreign heavyweights. They're all lousy. Sure as hell I'll moider de bum." Tony Sibson, on being beaten in a match: "I figured I'd find him sooner or later but I never did. I asked myself "Where did he go?" I knew he was there because he kept hitting me." Muhammad Ali: "It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am." Mike Tyson, on fighting Lennox Lewis: "My main objective is to be professional, but to kill him." Harry Carpenter: "He looks up through blood smeared lips." Joe Frazier, talking to Ken Norton at a social gathering. Frazier: "Hey man, what you been doing?"; Norton: "My wife just had a baby."; Frazier: "Congratulations! Whose baby is it?" Muhammad Ali, on an upcoming fight with Floyd Patterson: "I'll beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on." Willie Pep, talking to an old opponent years after each retired. "Do you recognize me?" the old opponent asked. Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying "Lie down so I can recognize you." Mark Kaylor: "I'm concentrating so much I don't know what I'm doing half the time." Muhammad Ali: "At home I am a nice guy�but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far." Willie Pastrano, when asked by the ring doctor if he knew where he was: "You're damn right I do. I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the shit knocked out of me." Henry Cooper, replying to boxing abolitionist, Baroness Edith Summerskill, about the brutalities of his sport. Baroness: "Mr. Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?" Cooper: "Well madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?" Muhammad Ali: "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." Eddie Shaw, referring to Herol "Bomber" Graham : "He has turned defensive boxing into a poetic art. Trouble is, nobody ever knocked anybody out with a poem." Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." Mike Tyson, on writer Wallace Matthews: " called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse." Harry Carpenter: "It's not one of Bruno's fastest wins... but it's one of them." Mark Kaylor: "I've only ever seen Errol Christie fight once before and that was the best I've ever seen him fight." Lou Duva, Veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." Randall "Tex" Cobb: "When I got up I stuck to my plan -- stumbling forward and getting hit in the face." Muhammad Ali: "I ain't got no quarrel with those Viet Cong." Blackie Sherrod, talking about a heavyweight contender: "He has everything a boxer needs except speed, stamina, a punch, and ability to take punishment. In other words, he owns a pair of shorts." Max Barr, on Joe Louis: "He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling." Harry Kabakoff, on Chango Cruz: "The bum was up and down so many times I thought he was an Otis elevator." Terry Lawless: "He's standing there making a sitting target of himself." Muhammad Ali: "I'm so mean I make medicine sick." Mike Tyson, to the Nevada State Athletic Commission: "I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson." Nick Wilshire: "I can only see it going one way, that's my way. How it's actually going to go I can't really say." Muhammad Ali: "Howard Cosell was gonna be a boxer when he was a kid�only they couldn't find a mouthpiece big enough." Tommy Farr: "Every time I hear the name Joe Louis my nose starts to bleed." Muhammad Ali, when asked about his golf game: "I'm the best. I just haven't played yet." Dan Duva, on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: " Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." Alan Massengale, after Don Zimmer got knocked down by Pedro Martinez in the playoffs and Evander Holyfield lost to James Toney.: "I felt sorry for Zimmer this weekend. Next time, if he wants to rumble, maybe he should pick on someone a little closer to his age. Evander Holyfield might be available." Harry Carpenter: "Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue." Tex Cobb, responding to a reporter who said Cobb was a fat, cocaine snorting , drunk. Cobb replied: "I'm not fat. Dan Duva, referring to whether or not he thought Mike Tyson would learn anything in prison: "He went to prison for three years, not Princeton." Max Baer, when asked for his definition of fear: "Standing across the ring from Joe Louis and knowing he wants to go home early." Muhammed Ali: "There's nothing wrong with getting knocked down, as long as you get right back up." George Foreman: "The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters."