Chael Reveals True Story Of UFC 159 Main Event

[Dorian]

"I got a call one day from Dana, he said 'Chael, I'm putting you to work.'
'You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.'
'He's been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.'
'I mean, nobody's coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.'
'Why don't you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars.'
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, 'Chael, whatever's in the account, take it, it's all for you.'
I thought for a moment and I said, 'I'll tell ya' what, Uncle D.'
'For you and the fans, this one's on me.'
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you're having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he's good, but I know that can't be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor and he's 52!
He's so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad, or beating up on Bonnar, who's older than God?
Look, here's the truth, believe me it is.
Don't even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz! (sic)
Jon, I'm coming to New Jersey, because I've got a job to do.
I'm a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I'm pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don't want to fight me."

[Dorian]

[Zn1]

at least he has dropped the "I'm the best fighter on the planet" crap. in fact, seeing him talk about seeing sports psychologists and his problem being submitted was really eye opening. he even admitted he really thought he had a mental problem regarding submissions.

Jon Jones isn't boring to watch IMO, he's frightening and it's kinda awe inspiring watching the ease in which he adjusts and dominates. Machida can be boring to watch because you know he doesn't have any real surprises, he is just a counter master with very low work rate.

[baya]

i used to think antonio tarver was the smartest / best trashtalker .... but this guy might have surpassed him. chael's a master at the craft for sure.

[$Bullsfam$]

If Chael had one shot power to go along with his wrestling I'd give him a pretty decent chance.

But besides the wrestling he has nothing else to offer. Jon Jones is better then him by miles in every other area. Total mismatch even though I really life TUF


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[NearHypnos]

Mismatch but I do like Chael's trollness.

[Barry Halls]

i used to think antonio tarver was the smartest / best trashtalker .... but this guy might have surpassed him. chael's a master at the craft for sure.

It's not even close.

Chael may be the best at this in the history of sports. He's not as charismatic or important as Ali but if you compare the lines they deliver i think Chael is up there.

[Zn1]

It's not even close.

Chael may be the best at this in the history of sports. He's not as charismatic or important as Ali but if you compare the lines they deliver i think Chael is up there.

his poem after the first Silva loss was pretty awesome

[Los Zetas]

Chael is good, but Ali was superior. Watch A Li on live videos and you can see the difference. Ali was sharp.


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[Willy Wanker]

"I got a call one day from Dana, he said 'Chael, I'm putting you to work.'
'You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.'
'He's been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.'
'I mean, nobody's coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.'
'Why don't you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars.'
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, 'Chael, whatever's in the account, take it, it's all for you.'
I thought for a moment and I said, 'I'll tell ya' what, Uncle D.'
'For you and the fans, this one's on me.'
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you're having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he's good, but I know that can't be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor and he's 52!
He's so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad, or beating up on Bonnar, who's older than God?
Look, here's the truth, believe me it is.
Don't even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz! (sic)
Jon, I'm coming to New Jersey, because I've got a job to do.
I'm a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I'm pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don't want to fight me."

bwahahahahah


it's a shame that Sonnen will probably get submitted by at least the 2nd round.