Limey Lang

[Derranged]

I do love your fixation with the Tube. It's most charming.

I really like the character development in this story. Reminds me of some of Dickens' early work.
The fact that the fat woman couldn't decide whether she's a pleb or a toff is a nice touch. Whether you did this by accident or by design is not clear, but it's fabulous either way.

It's also refreshing to see that Danny Williams' ethnic origin was not touched upon in this tale. It shows that we're advancing as a society.

I hope and pray that you write a sequel.

Thank you for the kind words. As for whether she's a pleb or a toff, that was by accident.

[BOLLOCKS]

Speaking of Annie, I wrote a little short story about him on Saturday. Its unedited, off the top of my head and took about half an hour. Stinger will appreciated it especially. He'll realize what I mean when he sees it:

(NOTE: No **** intended)




Drunk, bewildered and parched, Anorak sat uncomfortably in his seat as he and the passengers of the tube waited impatiently. The tube was crowded and stuck due to a minor electrical problem.

"We apologize for the inconvenience, we should be moving along shortly" said a voice over the loud speaker.

The wait was insufferable. The heat was eating away at Anorak as sweat dripped off the top of his balding head and on to his meticulously waxed mustache. His face was red as he was grinning foolishly, humming 'God Save the Queen.' and swaying back in forth, striking a heavy, middle aged tomato-faced woman sitting next to him who was getting quite annoyed. A tiny puddle of sweat lay between her two chins.

"Do you mind?" she snapped. "I've endured enough of your foolishness for the duration of this trip, sir".

Anorak did not acknowledge the fat woman and kept humming.

"Sir!" shrieked the fat woman. "Did you not 'ear me?! What the bloody 'ell is your problem?!"

Anorak turns his head and smiles contemptuously at the fat woman. "I need yer help with something yer fat feckin bird" slurred Anorak.

The fat woman looked at him with disgust and other passengers began to watch what was going on.

"See now, I've got meself a trouser snake and the only way to kill the fecker is for you to wank it off into oblivion" gloated Anorak. His face had turned pale and he was sweating profusely. " 'old this picture of Danny Williams in front of yer feckin mug and while yer do it".

"What the devil..." began the fat woman, until she abruptly stopped what she was saying. She stopped thinking. All of her attention was focused on the monstrosity before her. She looked in horror at Anorak as if she had stumbled unexpectedly on to a gruesome murder scene. She could not get the words out, but she wanted to scream until her head blew off of her body, through the top of the tube and into the stratosphere.

Anorak had exposed his himself to the fat woman, raising his eyebrows to invite her to grab it, struggling to stand up straight. After the initial shock, the fat woman shrieked whilst the other passengers yelled out in disgust.

For half a minute, Anorak stood proudly before he was brought down hard by two young, determined short-haired Bobbies who had been alerted in the other car. Anorak was carried off in handcuffs to the front car. The picture of Danny Williams laid on the floor.

Shortly after the disturbance, the tube was up and running again.

The fat woman, sitting, trembling in disgust, saw the picture of Danny Williams.

"Williams is a dish, I've give the old bugger that" she thought to herself.

END.

I am an aspiring writer of sorts. Meh..

No Grapes Of Wrath innit, maybe if you put a few bollocks in there next time.

[Oasis_Lad]

Giz a kiss and a fondle you lovely bastards.

[Clegg]

Come back to see Audley get sparked again this weekend, lover?

[Southpaw Stinger]

Giz a kiss and a fondle you lovely bastards.

We've got a lot of catching up to do...

[Oasis_Lad]

We've got a lot of catching up to do...

Come back to see Audley get sparked again this weekend, lover?

Other than you and Southpaw, it's the only reason I came back.

[Southpaw Stinger]

Now the question we've all been longing to ask you.... how did Sherlock do that whole fake suicide business? Been racking me brains for over a year.

[BOLLOCKS]

Surrender Dorothy!

[Oasis_Lad]

Does this Gif still visually describe the Floyd fans on the scene:

[IMG]http://ist2-1.filesor.com/***********.com/1/_/_/_/1/1/s/D/W/1sDWz/1366955402398.gif[/IMG]

[Oasis_Lad]

Now the question we've all been longing to ask you.... how did Sherlock do that whole fake suicide business? Been racking me brains for over a year.

Haven't got a clue.

I'm guessing, Bouncy Castle in back of dump trump, A Sherlock look-a-like who appeared dead after being forced to watch a Hopkins highlight clip beforehand and some red HP sauce.

Also, Lickle Jim 'Awight, fellas? I'm Paul McCartney' Moriarty was just another Agent. We all Know the real Moriarty looks more like John.