None of Britain's best sportsmen come from England!

[TheHoff'sGhost]

I was right shocked to discover this fact but it's bleeding true so it is. To prove this lets just have a look at the favourites to win sports personality of the year. Cal****lappy as the fat yanks like to call him is obviously a sheep shagger. Andy Murray is a haggis eating kilt wearer, as is Chris Hoy, and Lewis Hamilton is from Essex, which has been disowned by all respectable englishmen and is therefore no longer a part of England. Plus he lives in Switzerland.

What are we gonna do about this disastrous state of affairs? The sodding sheep shaggers and penny pinchers are making us look bad. I mean jesus, mary and scallop eating joseph, have you noticed that the Welsh teenagers haven't been killing themselves as much lately? That's because Calzaghe is making them feel good about being Welsh. Fuckin' ell eh, what's the world coming to...

[Chunk..]

Lewis Hamilton is from Hertfordshire.

[Iamnotausername]

Phil 'The Power' Taylor is from England!

We have one true world champion! A Dartist of the highest order!

[TheHoff'sGhost]

Lewis Hamilton is from Hertfordshire.

Don't make me give you a slap you Kerry Katona loving perv. If I say the lad is from Essex then he's bleeding from Essex and there's no debating it. If I tell you to jump then you should be landing by the time I'm ready to give out me next order.

Do we understand each other?

[Flab]

Lewis Hamilton is from Hertfordshire.

Me too.

[Chunk..]

Don't make me give you a slap you Kerry Katona loving perv. If I say the lad is from Essex then he's bleeding from Essex and there's no debating it. If I tell you to jump then you should be landing by the time I'm ready to give out me next order.

Do we understand each other?

Can i give you a *******?

[TheHoff'sGhost]

Can i give you a *******?

You sure can. Pucker up sweetheart.

Lets go to my place instead of yours though. Seeing the Kerry Katona pictures on yer wall would put me right off so they would.

[Chunk..]

You sure can. Pucker up sweetheart.

Lets go to my place instead of yours though. Seeing the Kerry Katona pictures on yer wall would put me right off so they would.

What'ya talking about Hoff?!?

Kerry's coming along. We'll have a three way!

[TheHoff'sGhost]

What'ya talking about Hoff?!?

Kerry's coming along. We'll have a three way!

Bleeding 'eck Chunky, me trousersnake would need some serious convincing to have a go on Kerry Katona. Maybe if she was a stand in for a bouncy castle at a kids party I might jump on her, but that'd be the one and only time.

[Jambo boy]

Kevin pietersen is from South Africa an' all Hoffie. Even our best Cricketers aren't English.