The top ten people I'd most like to **** right now...

15. Daphne and Scrappy Doo


Lots of people assume that Velma, the dumpy one with glasses, would be more grateful in bed. And, sure, if Fred asked her to eat out Daphne I expect she would. But, call me crazy, I think Daphne would be the one to try **** first. In fact, I can imagine the jock Fred raping her in high school. Not a vicious rape, more of a date rape. He pushes, she says no, he pretends not to hear. She gets low self esteem and he tells her that "all girls do it."

So where does Scrappy fit into all this? Well, Scrappy - one of cartoon's biggest ever ****s, I'm sure you'll agree - would get used as a sanitary towel when Daphne's on her period. He starts mouthing off, as he is wont to do, and you stuff him right up her eager snatch until he comes out with menstrual blood pouring into his little ****y eyes. Really, he's just Scooby's head on a little body, ain't he? But for one night, the only time he cries out "puppy power!" is when his pelvis is being fractured.

[Alonzo Harris]

Ah man I'm in tears over here Tony the tiger, Roy jones and Steven Hawking just killed it.

the Hayden Pantierre or whatever the **** her name is was gold too.

God bless ya Rog, I'll try and come up with more.

[-jose-]

15. Daphne and Scrappy Doo


Lots of people assume that Velma, the dumpy one with glasses, would be more grateful in bed. And, sure, if Fred asked her to eat out Daphne I expect she would. But, call me crazy, I think Daphne would be the one to try **** first. In fact, I can imagine the jock Fred raping her in high school. Not a vicious rape, more of a date rape. He pushes, she says no, he pretends not to hear. She gets low self esteem and he tells her that "all girls do it."

she's definitely one sexy ass cartoon, scrappy dog could stay and video tape the action.

16. Cheryl Tweedy and Kate Beckinsale combo.



I don't believe Tweedy is that well known over in Fat Yankistan, even though she briefly took part in the US X Factor. Years ago she would have effortlessly made my top ten without a second's hesitation, and, indeed, there was a thread dedicated to her in the Limey Lounge that made me douse my keyboard in fresh love syrup.

But she took part in our version of The X Factor over here, and I was struck by the realisation that she was a bit of a boring ****. Not only that, but someone pointed out to me she's got a bit of a beak on side view. With this in mind, what I propose is that the 39-year-old Kate Beckinsale gets sodomised by the ten years younger Cheryl, wearing a strap on. Afterwards Beckinsale has to eat Cheryl out, and then rim her, while I watch her being defiled by the younger girl. I'd enjoy that, and it would be a nice spectacle. But my heart would still be filled with a sense of irrevocable disappointment.

17. Avril Lavigne

Fang-faced Cannuck ****whore Lavigne once inexplicably turned me on for a magazine interview where she said she'd once kicked another girl in the ****. For days afterwards I fantasised about having my own vagina so she could boot it, and then dominate me, forcing me to lick her out, and talking about her perky her boobs are.

But I've gone off her a bit in the interim. These days I think I'd like to take her out, and then smash her skull against a concrete pavement (sidewalk, Fat Yanks), before getting out my taddywhacker and ****ing her in the hole in her skull. As I'd brutally **** her brain, I'd shout out "what's on your mind, Avril? Oh, that's right... it's my cock." I'd dick fuck her into pure ******ation, my throbbing bell end giving her the mental age of a three year old. She's spending the rest of her life drinking through a straw... I'm spraying my love sap all in her hypothalamus.

[-jose-]

17. Avril Lavigne

Fang-faced Cannuck ****whore Lavigne once inexplicably turned me on for a magazine interview where she said she'd once kicked another girl in the ****. For days afterwards I fantasised about having my own vagina so she could boot it, and then dominate me, forcing me to lick her out, and talking about her perky her boobs are.

Wow!!! that's true love ^^^

but I agree, I would lick her were the sun don't shine if she let me.