The top ten people I'd most like to **** right now...

Versy got banned AGAIN????

Am I allowed to **** some more? Let's take a look at some who just missed out on the top ten, shall we?

11. Hayden Panettiere

Eminently ****able jailbait fluff from top "didn't it suck quickly after just one season?" series Heroes, there are several rumours (rumors, Fat Yanks) as to why she split up with Wlad.

One story I heard was a claim of domestic abuse. He said that instinct had taken over, as they'd had a long hug, and Wlad is used to throwing a punch after he's initiated a lengthy hug. However, Hayden refused to believe it was on instinct as he'd used his right.

Another story goes that he'd made her sign a contract that if he wasn't able to give her an orgasm in bed, Vitali got to have a go afterwards.

12. Gillian Anderson


Mole-faced carrot pubed Gillian isn't getting any younger, but it still doesn't mean I wouldn't like her to take part in my own special X File:

Scully's Diary Entry, Day One: "Woke up to find both my arms and legs had been sawn off, and my clitoris was being tortured with brief electric charges from a Durcell battery. Meanwhile, I discovered Miley '**** whore' Cyrus's clitoris had been sliced off and sewn to the tip of my tongue. This means that no matter where I go, or what I do, I'm permanently giving Miley Cyrus cunnilingus. Meanwhile, a guy from England is making my arsehole bleed and sticking a cucumber right up my rancid ****. Maybe aliens are involved?

We've all thought it, right?

[johnm is...]

"Tony The Tiger" was the funniest god damn thing ever.

[kadyo's]

Paging bringer. Please erase the word ten in thread title and kindly erase this post afterward. Thank you.

13. Roy Jones Jr.


Yes, it would be fun to have Roy Jones tied up in your basement, and not just because if you got a parking ticket or your post was late he'd have experience of beating up traffic wardens and mail men.

I'd like to bum him into the middle of next week just so he could call me Tarver - because every time he sees me, he gets fucked - and then say to him "Do you remember what it was like to have me tickle your kidneys, Roy? Or y'all must've forgot?"

Obviously if I face ****ed him I'd have to be careful my dick didn't slip out and hit his chin in case he'd be out cold for 15 days like he was against Glen Johnson. But let's be real, there's only one reason and one reason only why I'd **** Roy Jones............ I'd do it to make Reed jealous.

14. Stephen Hawking


I'm sure we've all been in situations where we've had a lover and there's just no connection in bed, right? I used to go out with one girl, she'd lie there like a corpse and go "don't worry, I enjoyed it anyway". I was young.

But Stephen would be the ultimate rape victim, cos you could program in any response you wanted. Think about it. That Speak and Spell of his is all typed up with speech on uncertainty principles and unified field theories. But a quick retype and he can be a most grateful lover...



"OH - THAT - IS - GREAT. DO - ME - HAR - DER."



"DON'T - STOP - DON'T - STOP. YOU - ARE - THE - BEST."

[The Noose]

Hawkings left ear is begging for it. And he has that 'come hither' slutty smile on his face at all times. He knows what he is doing. He models himself on those Japanese school girl types.
To get him to speak you would have to make his cheek twitch (thats how he spells out words now...lolz). I think you know the most practical way to get a persons cheek bulging in and out.
I reckon you could make him sing Bohemian Rhapsody if you got your rhythm right. But doubt you hold back until the head banging part.

[Rockin']

4. Charlotte Church


Is Charlotte Church known much outside of the UK? She had a classical album out years ago when she was younger, **** of an Angel or summat.

Now, there's better looking girls in the world than Charlotte Church. There's even some with better ****. But there's just some inexplicable something about this Calzaghe relative that makes me not only want to put my willy inside her and move it until white stuff comes out, but I'd even like to grow my own vagina so that she can **** it with a strap on. A girl once said to me in bed that women have better orgasms, and it's intrigued me for years. If I grew my own vag and Charlotte flicked it off, would it be better than if she tossed off my taddywhacker as it is?

An unsolved mystery of the universe, cos we'll never know.

ummhmm............Rockin'

[sukhenkoy]

14. Stephen Hawking


I'm sure we've all been in situations where we've had a lover and there's just no connection in bed, right? I used to go out with one girl, she'd lie there like a corpse and go "don't worry, I enjoyed it anyway". I was young.

But Stephen would be the ultimate rape victim, cos you could program in any response you wanted. Think about it. That Speak and Spell of his is all typed up with speech on uncertainty principles and unified field theories. But a quick retype and he can be a most grateful lover...



"OH - THAT - IS - GREAT. DO - ME - HAR - DER."



"DON'T - STOP - DON'T - STOP. YOU - ARE - THE - BEST."

I don't know if you'll ever **** him, but he'd certainly brain**** you if given the chance.