Drunk Lang

[MOMENTO MORI]

I'm in the German town of China now.

I've had two solid fights with Germans now, and got beat up both times.

Fat lips, black eyes, bloody bridges of my nose.

I don't want to **** with Germans anymore.

I'm not such a big guy, and they all tower over me.

Frankly, I don't understand how they managed to lose the two world wars, the big ****ers.

Maybe because their officers kept executing them on the field so they didn't have enough manpower.

I'm no longer like Charles Zelenoff. I've taken two Ls on my record now.

I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a broken rib right now. It hurts pretty severely when I cough.

Where your homies?... Bud dont ever fight alone.

[Drunken Cat]

Where your homies?... Bud dont ever fight alone.

I aint got homies.

I'm here alone, far away from home and far away from homies.

I moved to this city 3 months ago.

Homies? I got no homies.

I keep fighting these Germans, that means my friends are even less.

The funny thing is, I have some fans though. There's this Polish guy for example that lives a floor above me. He's a smart dude and we have intelligent conversations.

He was there when I had my latest scrap, and he has like a glean in his eye about it. (Kinda like, you crazy bastard, I love you you crazy fuck.)

There are people I know around town by now, and if I tell them about my fights, some of them get excited, but I ain't got homies here.

The guy I fought was the biggest guy in the bar, and like twice my size. In hindsight, I'd advise against fighting the biggest guy in the bar. At least if you are 5'7, and about 155, like me.

[Drunken Cat]

I just realized the Polish guy likes me because I fight Germans

[New England]

I'm in the German town of China now.

I've had two solid fights with Germans now, and got beat up both times.

Fat lips, black eyes, bloody bridges of my nose.

I don't want to **** with Germans anymore.

I'm not such a big guy, and they all tower over me.

Frankly, I don't understand how they managed to lose the two world wars, the big ****ers.

Maybe because their officers kept executing them on the field so they didn't have enough manpower.

I'm no longer like Charles Zelenoff. I've taken two Ls on my record now.

I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a broken rib right now. It hurts pretty severely when I cough.

:rofl

[Drunken Cat]

I maybe ****ed up, boys.

Or maybe not.

I made out with my girlfriend's friend when we were wasted at a party the other night.

This foreign bar here in China had a 2 year anniversary, free food and drinks all night.

I got loaded and made out with this girl.

My girlfriend lives in another city. She visits me on my days off.

The friend of the girlfriend was actually my friend first, but then I introduced them and they hit it off, and now my girlfriend always calls her when she comes to my place, and they go out drinking and ****.

I'm thinking **** it, who gives a ****. I had a good time.

The girl was telling me, 'don't tell your girlfriend about this.' So, I don't think she's going to be talking.

So, I think it's all well and good.

Long live the Drunken Cat.

There's an extremely narrow miss which came from this story, which could be a lesson for the young whippersnappers here (although not really, there's no lessons here, just a load of bullshit).

I ended up telling the old lady about my transgression.

I told her, because we were having a fight, and we were both drunk as shit, and given my mind set at the time, I was of a mind to say, "nah nah nah nah, dah dah dah nah. Nah nah nah, dah de nah nah. Just beat it. Beat it. Just beat it. Beat it."

So, I told her, I mad out with your friend, and I don't care.

We had our fight, and we eventually made up.

She eventually told me, go fuck the bitches, but don't tell me about it. Asian girls, lol.

Ironically, it was good I told her like this, because when I had my last fight with the German, the bar owner called my girlfriend, and told her all about me making out with the girl, but I'd already told her. So, he was firing blanks.

Quite ironically, the fact that I told my girlfriend I'd cheated on her, saved my ass in this case, because she was informed of it, but she already knew. I'd deflated the shock value of the information successfully already.

I did it with good intent.

The moral is probably don't cheat on your girlfriend.

But if you do so at a venue where you are going to have a street fight, maybe you might as well tell her, as it could be better for you.

A separate moral would be cheat on your girlfriend as much as you like, but try to do it in a private place, because people are bastards and can't not talk.

Stupid people. But it's okay. I honestly knew that it would leak (big mouthed mofos), and I got ahead of it by just telling the truth.

So the moral of the story is, and I'm pretty drunk by the way, but the moral of the story is, have fun, have a good time, do whatever you like. And also, I think a sort of moral was that if it seems like your girlfriend is going to find out about something you did wrong, well, if she's going to find out anyway, you might just gamble and tell her yourself and act like your sorry about it. I mean, she's gonna find out anyway. You see what I'm saying?

I recommend you make out with as many girls as possible and **** any girl you can, but if you have a girlfriend, well you might need to learn some excuses.

I'm pretty faded.

[MOMENTO MORI]

The tall cans hit different at home opposed to at the bar.

[Drunken Cat]

Where your homies?... Bud dont ever fight alone.

By the way, are you Mexican by any chance?

Just curious.

[MOMENTO MORI]

I’m black but I got a Mexican essence about me

[Beercules]

I feel like ****.



****ing women.

[BrotherDudeJack]

I'm a fan of the drunken cat! Kudos to you good sir! 😎