Drunk Lang

[Rudyo]

Vodka man. Yo idgaf Summer Sixteen is hard

summer 16? If i go to jail, im gonna be the first to lounge it and reach P4P status.

[Beercules]

summer 16? If i go to jail, im gonna be the first to lounge it and reach P4P status.

No that Drake diss to Meek.

[Panopticon]

I can definitely relate. I've drank casually for years and it's these last two years that have been the worse as my drinking has become excessive and I'm starting to see the consequences of it as far as health, finance, and physical appearance(I look like a fat white dried out piece of ****). I'm buzzed right now and feeling pretty good despite the truth of the matter.

[Derranged]

Stop drinking you turds.

Total sobriety sucks. I almost don't even care that I'm getting pussy tonight. All I can think about is not being able to drink.

I need to get back into writing. Off the head, no editing:

A man plays hopscotch on the Nazi Moon Base while twin douchelords both named Tyler Jack Chaddington IV sip vodka martinis and watch. Tyler One drops one of his olives on his $1000 loafers and begins to throw a tantrum. He summons for Colman, his trusty traveling butler who appears almost instantaneously.

"Colman you worthless vagabond" shouted Tyler One. He slides his tennis racket out of his large hip holster and cracks Colman across the face, sending him crashing on to the floor. The other Tyler chuckles haughtily and throws an olive at man playing hopscotch. Bleeding profusely from the nose, Colman rises to his feet maintaining his permanent expressionless look and calm demeanor. "Get me some new loafers, immediately!" Colman nods politely and leaves as fast as he arrived.

The Tylers smile at each other like a gay couple eloping to Vermont, but are telepathically communicating stories about murdering their parents. Relishing over the anticipation of their inheritance, they were rudely interrupted by Hopscotch Man, who was quite inebriated. See, the way he played hopscotch was he'd drink large quan****** of the cheapest scotch in the Milky Way and hop around until he was ready to vomit, only to make room for more scotch. He looks as if he'd been drinking for months and smells like death wrapped in bologna. The Tylers nearly gag. Hopscotch man smiles. Before the Tylers could say "I'll have the milk fed two week old truffle oil marinated pecan encrusted wine infused pan seared veal cutlet and a glass of Estiba Reservada" Hopscotch man projectile vomits in the faces of the Tylers, which tears their heads clean off their bodies. Hopscotch grabs another quart of scotch off the ground and gets back to drinking.

FUCK YOU.

[Rudyo]

[Beercules]

Stop drinking you turds.

Total sobriety sucks. I almost don't even care that I'm getting pussy tonight. All I can think about is not being able to drink.

I need to get back into writing. Off the head, no editing:

A man plays hopscotch on the Nazi Moon Base while twin douchelords both named Tyler Jack Chaddington IV sip vodka martinis and watch. Tyler One drops one of his olives on his $1000 loafers and begins to throw a tantrum. He summons for Colman, his trusty traveling butler who appears almost instantaneously.

"Colman you worthless vagabond" shouted Tyler One. He slides his tennis racket out of his large hip holster and cracks Colman across the face, sending him crashing on to the floor. The other Tyler chuckles haughtily and throws an olive at man playing hopscotch. Bleeding profusely from the nose, Colman rises to his feet maintaining his permanent expressionless look and calm demeanor. "Get me some new loafers, immediately!" Colman nods politely and leaves as fast as he arrived.

The Tylers smile at each other like a gay couple eloping to Vermont, but are telepathically communicating stories about murdering their parents. Relishing over the anticipation of their inheritance, they were rudely interrupted by Hopscotch Man, who was quite inebriated. See, the way he played hopscotch was he'd drink large quan****** of the cheapest scotch in the Milky Way and hop around until he was ready to vomit, only to make room for more scotch. He looks as if he'd been drinking for months and smells like death wrapped in bologna. The Tylers nearly gag. Hopscotch man smiles. Before the Tylers could say "I'll have the milk fed two week old truffle oil marinated pecan encrusted wine infused pan seared veal cutlet and a glass of Estiba Reservada" Hopscotch man projectile vomits in the faces of the Tylers, which tears their heads clean off their bodies. Hopscotch grabs another quart of scotch off the ground and gets back to drinking.

FUCK YOU.

I liked it laddie

[Beercules]

via GIPHY

[Derranged]

I liked it laddie

And what do you think about me being so preoccupied with booze that I'm not even excited about getting laid? That doesn't speak well for me at all. There has to be some sort of wonder drug that counters all negative effects of alcohol, minus intoxication of course. I think its just the establishment wanting hard working, obedient people living boring, sober lives because less work would get done if everyone were getting shitfaced all the time without having to consider health risks. Bastards.

[Beercules]

And what do you think about me being so preoccupied with booze that I'm not even excited about getting laid? That doesn't speak well for me at all. There has to be some sort of wonder drug that counters all negative effects of alcohol, minus intoxication of course. I think its just the establishment wanting hard working, obedient people living boring, sober lives because less work would get done if everyone were getting shitfaced all the time without having to consider health risks. Bastards.

Adderall. You won't want to drink at all

[El-blanco]

via GIPHY

She fell off a cliff. I thought she was the hottest thing ever when that movie came out.