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A heavyweight story.

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  • A heavyweight story.

    Most of you probably already know me because of my great contribution to this forum but I'll introduce myself to the newcomers.

    As a young white boy I grew up in the suburbs. I now go boxing in the hood, so obviously I got it alot harder than all those black kids who are too poor to buy decent equipment or healthy food.
    I'm now a grown man of 25 years old and I'm still certain I'll be heavyweight champion of the world. Why you ask? because I spend most of the time on my couch watching cartoons out of which I build up my life philosophy, that's why! Boxing requires a lot of determination ladies!

    When you watch into the mirror you have to ask yourself if you are really built for it, for waking up 1 hour after you just went to bed and sprint 40 miles.
    I currently weigh about 5k lbs (needless I need to you that when I look in the mirror I see future champion) but I'm on this awesome diet where I only eat a grain of rice a month. I'm losing about 200 lbs a day now so soon I'll be below 0. When I feel really hungry I just sniff some oranges through a straw to get my blood pumpin', that **** is heavier than xanax and all the other drugs I've stuffed my body with during my rebelious years 2 days ago.

    You gotta work hard, and I mean GOTTA! Because boxing is not a game *****, no sir! You gotta work hard to minimalize your brain damage! That's why I try to copy a 70's George Foreman, that guy's defence was incredible and his style fits perfect for amateur. I have a PHD in being a dirty bastard in the ring and clinching, because that's how they roll in the AMs!

    So as you should know by now, becoming a heavyweight champion is a ***** because it requires alot of sacrifice. I had to sacrifice food, cigarettes, and a boner, because the lack of tabaco gives me a limp ****. But hey, when you are as delusional as me, you KNOW sacrificing all this will lead to great glory, even though the only thing I've ever done is going all out in sparring while my opponent (tiger the ****ing survivor! OMG!!) probably just wanted a learnful session.

    Boxing is not only physical, hell no! There's alot of rocketscience involved that I obviously master, like newtons second law mass + acceleration = force. The mass obviously means your fist alone, that's why I throw armpunches and still manage to leave my entire body completely exposed. (because thats how my hero george foreman does it right?)
    And the acceleration part makes total sense too, because we all know acceleration = immediate speed, right? right??

    Well, that's me in a nutshell, a very big nutshell obiously because my extremely fat ass has to fit in it.

  • #2
    lol geeze how do you reply to that, ya cant flog a dead cat. You really have said alot without really saying anything. You talk too much, go to the gym, search/phone around for a decent sparring partner/s close to your weight as possible and get that first fight on ya scorecard.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Stormin'Norman View Post
      Most of you probably already know me because of my great contribution to this forum but I'll introduce myself to the newcomers.

      As a young white boy I grew up in the suburbs. I now go boxing in the hood, so obviously I got it alot harder than all those black kids who are too poor to buy decent equipment or healthy food.
      I'm now a grown man of 25 years old and I'm still certain I'll be heavyweight champion of the world. Why you ask? because I spend most of the time on my couch watching cartoons out of which I build up my life philosophy, that's why! Boxing requires a lot of determination ladies!

      When you watch into the mirror you have to ask yourself if you are really built for it, for waking up 1 hour after you just went to bed and sprint 40 miles.
      I currently weigh about 5k lbs (needless I need to you that when I look in the mirror I see future champion) but I'm on this awesome diet where I only eat a grain of rice a month. I'm losing about 200 lbs a day now so soon I'll be below 0. When I feel really hungry I just sniff some oranges through a straw to get my blood pumpin', that **** is heavier than xanax and all the other drugs I've stuffed my body with during my rebelious years 2 days ago.

      You gotta work hard, and I mean GOTTA! Because boxing is not a game *****, no sir! You gotta work hard to minimalize your brain damage! That's why I try to copy a 70's George Foreman, that guy's defence was incredible and his style fits perfect for amateur. I have a PHD in being a dirty bastard in the ring and clinching, because that's how they roll in the AMs!

      So as you should know by now, becoming a heavyweight champion is a ***** because it requires alot of sacrifice. I had to sacrifice food, cigarettes, and a boner, because the lack of tabaco gives me a limp ****. But hey, when you are as delusional as me, you KNOW sacrificing all this will lead to great glory, even though the only thing I've ever done is going all out in sparring while my opponent (tiger the ****ing survivor! OMG!!) probably just wanted a learnful session.

      Boxing is not only physical, hell no! There's alot of rocketscience involved that I obviously master, like newtons second law mass + acceleration = force. The mass obviously means your fist alone, that's why I throw armpunches and still manage to leave my entire body completely exposed. (because thats how my hero george foreman does it right?)
      And the acceleration part makes total sense too, because we all know acceleration = immediate speed, right? right??

      Well, that's me in a nutshell, a very big nutshell obiously because my extremely fat ass has to fit in it.
      LMAO !!

      Comment


      • #4
        dude ur a **** tip sum1 ban him ull never go pro! or semi n u dnt no **** n u luk like a twat in ur pic im 13 and i actually box my coach is pro and i only go on here to tlk bout modern boxing so jus *** of

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Stormin'Norman View Post
          Most of you probably already know me because of my great contribution to this forum but I'll introduce myself to the newcomers.

          As a young white boy I grew up in the suburbs. I now go boxing in the hood, so obviously I got it alot harder than all those black kids who are too poor to buy decent equipment or healthy food.
          I'm now a grown man of 25 years old and I'm still certain I'll be heavyweight champion of the world. Why you ask? because I spend most of the time on my couch watching cartoons out of which I build up my life philosophy, that's why! Boxing requires a lot of determination ladies!

          When you watch into the mirror you have to ask yourself if you are really built for it, for waking up 1 hour after you just went to bed and sprint 40 miles.
          I currently weigh about 5k lbs (needless I need to you that when I look in the mirror I see future champion) but I'm on this awesome diet where I only eat a grain of rice a month. I'm losing about 200 lbs a day now so soon I'll be below 0. When I feel really hungry I just sniff some oranges through a straw to get my blood pumpin', that **** is heavier than xanax and all the other drugs I've stuffed my body with during my rebelious years 2 days ago.

          You gotta work hard, and I mean GOTTA! Because boxing is not a game *****, no sir! You gotta work hard to minimalize your brain damage! That's why I try to copy a 70's George Foreman, that guy's defence was incredible and his style fits perfect for amateur. I have a PHD in being a dirty bastard in the ring and clinching, because that's how they roll in the AMs!

          So as you should know by now, becoming a heavyweight champion is a ***** because it requires alot of sacrifice. I had to sacrifice food, cigarettes, and a boner, because the lack of tabaco gives me a limp ****. But hey, when you are as delusional as me, you KNOW sacrificing all this will lead to great glory, even though the only thing I've ever done is going all out in sparring while my opponent (tiger the ****ing survivor! OMG!!) probably just wanted a learnful session.

          Boxing is not only physical, hell no! There's alot of rocketscience involved that I obviously master, like newtons second law mass + acceleration = force. The mass obviously means your fist alone, that's why I throw armpunches and still manage to leave my entire body completely exposed. (because thats how my hero george foreman does it right?)
          And the acceleration part makes total sense too, because we all know acceleration = immediate speed, right? right??

          Well, that's me in a nutshell, a very big nutshell obiously because my extremely fat ass has to fit in it.
          what kind of boxer goes to sleep at 3:30 and sprints 40 miles

          lol

          Comment


          • #6
            he's just ****in with us, he knows he aint ****.

            Comment


            • #7
              i like this guy, hes a comedian.

              Comment


              • #8
                Lots of sarcasm i detect, especially stuff about foreman

                Comment


                • #9
                  that was ****ing hilarious especially with the oranges, nicely done. is that shawn?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    LOL someone finally made an alt of this guy and made fun of him. Check the name theres no space.

                    Comment

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