Tweet
Will Maidana's size help or hurt against Mayweather?
And by size I obviously mean c*ck bulge.
Now I know that many of the less informed among you are likely scratching your head right about now but, please, hear me out...
Previously I (like many others) had thought that the key to beating Floyd Mayweather and derailing his longstanding undefeated streak would lie not in the inane things that you NSB ****s like to debate to death like stylistic intangibles or prior performances against similar opposition - No, I (and many experts who post here) thought that the key to beating Floyd would lie in the area of being physically bigger than him where it really matters : Below the belt.
You may remember that I laid out a pretty compelling argument for Canelo Alvarez triumphing over Mayweather in their fight last year. The crux of that riveting presentation of course being size of Canelo's now infamous ATG snake.
Unfortunately, my theory was proven wrong when Mayweather emerged victorious and still undefeated after a fairly lopsided 36 minutes of action.
So where does Marcos Maidana fit into all of this?
Well, since this fight was announced I've been doing quite a bit of "research" (most of which admittedly consists of jerking it feverishly to pics of c*ck bulges at fight weigh-ins until I spew on my stomach) into Maidana's c*ck size and have recently come to the revelation that my initial theory may have been correct in principle, but wrong in application.
I now believe that Canelo's ATG snake was so huge that it became a hindrance instead of an advantage. I also believe that the sheer size of Canelo's love piston may be the reason why Alvarez continues to struggle with stamina issues.
I now believe that the key to beating Floyd Mayweather lies not in having a bigger c*ck than he does, but in having a smaller c*ck than he does!
You see, the smaller the meat mushroom the more swiftly you're able to move about the ring. This is exactly why Floyd has managed to stay undefeated all of these years - He's been knowingly fighting men with much larger c*cks because it slows them down in the ring, making it easier for him to potshot them and move away quickly while they tire themselves out chasing him down carrying around an extra 2lbs of c*ck. It's also the reason why he still refuses to fight Pacquiao - Because everybody knows that Asians have shrimp d*cks, so Manny would never get tired of chasing Floyd because there'd be nothing between his legs to tire him out.
Take a look at this photo from the Broner/Maidana weigh-in...
As you see, I've highlighted the area where Maidana's beef bayonet should be bulging out of his boxer briefs like an escaped slave desperate for freedom...but there is no bulge!
So how do you guys think this will play into his fight with Floyd? Surely Maidana's toddler-sized d*ck will lead to him being much faster than Alvarez was in the ring, giving him a chance to smother Floyd much more than Canelo could.
Now I know that many of the less informed among you are likely scratching your head right about now but, please, hear me out...
Previously I (like many others) had thought that the key to beating Floyd Mayweather and derailing his longstanding undefeated streak would lie not in the inane things that you NSB ****s like to debate to death like stylistic intangibles or prior performances against similar opposition - No, I (and many experts who post here) thought that the key to beating Floyd would lie in the area of being physically bigger than him where it really matters : Below the belt.
You may remember that I laid out a pretty compelling argument for Canelo Alvarez triumphing over Mayweather in their fight last year. The crux of that riveting presentation of course being size of Canelo's now infamous ATG snake.
Unfortunately, my theory was proven wrong when Mayweather emerged victorious and still undefeated after a fairly lopsided 36 minutes of action.
So where does Marcos Maidana fit into all of this?
Well, since this fight was announced I've been doing quite a bit of "research" (most of which admittedly consists of jerking it feverishly to pics of c*ck bulges at fight weigh-ins until I spew on my stomach) into Maidana's c*ck size and have recently come to the revelation that my initial theory may have been correct in principle, but wrong in application.
I now believe that Canelo's ATG snake was so huge that it became a hindrance instead of an advantage. I also believe that the sheer size of Canelo's love piston may be the reason why Alvarez continues to struggle with stamina issues.
I now believe that the key to beating Floyd Mayweather lies not in having a bigger c*ck than he does, but in having a smaller c*ck than he does!
You see, the smaller the meat mushroom the more swiftly you're able to move about the ring. This is exactly why Floyd has managed to stay undefeated all of these years - He's been knowingly fighting men with much larger c*cks because it slows them down in the ring, making it easier for him to potshot them and move away quickly while they tire themselves out chasing him down carrying around an extra 2lbs of c*ck. It's also the reason why he still refuses to fight Pacquiao - Because everybody knows that Asians have shrimp d*cks, so Manny would never get tired of chasing Floyd because there'd be nothing between his legs to tire him out.
Take a look at this photo from the Broner/Maidana weigh-in...
As you see, I've highlighted the area where Maidana's beef bayonet should be bulging out of his boxer briefs like an escaped slave desperate for freedom...but there is no bulge!
So how do you guys think this will play into his fight with Floyd? Surely Maidana's toddler-sized d*ck will lead to him being much faster than Alvarez was in the ring, giving him a chance to smother Floyd much more than Canelo could.
Comment