I hear you brother. With a small difference; I cannot make my partner become an ex, for she's got no one except me to take care of her health.
You just fùck up once in life sometimes, even in good faith, yet it's enough for an existence replete with bitter regrets.
Damned shame, that, but you're a good man for hanging in there for her health. My ex has health issues too, but she wanted out, so I was happy to turn her over to her current sucker.
Damned shame, that, but you're a good man for hanging in there for her health. My ex has health issues too, but she wanted out, so I was happy to turn her over to her current sucker.
The actual drama is that she is fundamentally a good woman, loves me for real (not reciprocated, but I keep pretending...) and doesn't deserve anything of what happened to her, which is a lot under many aspects, not only the physical one. Furthermore, she was doing much better when we met, in 1989 (!). But the last fifteen years or so have been a gradual descent into quicksand, for me.
Nothing about her innumerable issues prevents me from dreaming freedom, though, and I don't feel guilty for a minute to be honest. I've always been a lone wolf since childhood, and this has been an out-and-out sacrifice of my own life. It's hard when you have to be an actor on a daily basis. A situation like this can turn even the best man into a heartless bastard.
The actual drama is that she is fundamentally a good woman, loves me for real (not reciprocated, but I keep pretending...) and doesn't deserve anything of what happened to her, which is a lot under many aspects, not only the physical one. Furthermore, she was doing much better when we met, in 1989 (!). But the last fifteen years or so have been a gradual descent into quicksand, for me.
Nothing about her innumerable issues prevents me from dreaming freedom, though, and I don't feel guilty for a minute to be honest. I've always been a lone wolf since childhood, and this has been an out-and-out sacrifice of my own life. It's hard when you have to be an actor on a daily basis. A situation like this can turn even the best man into a heartless bastard.
I learned a long time ago to follow my instincts, Tat. Especially after giving my now ex-wife the benefit of the doubt while we were dating. The instincts are usually right, the second-guessing, usually wrong.
Was supposed to be going on a date this past weekend. Using instincts and experience I figured out all the lady wants is a relationship leading to quick marriage with a solvent gentleman. So I cancelled. I can't fulfill any of those requirements :-)
Was supposed to be going on a date this past weekend. Using instincts and experience I figured out all the lady wants is a relationship leading to quick marriage with a solvent gentleman. So I cancelled. I can't fulfill any of those requirements :-)
That is sooooo right. I had no conception of that in my life until I was 40 which got me into all kinds of crazy sc****s and bad decisions and in relationships until I was 50. Prior to that it was my **** did the thinking.
Comment