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HBO: Telling it like it is (Episode 5- Round 4: Round of the Year)
ROUND 4…
Lampley: “After three rounds, we have been treated to a truly interesting and action-packed fight so far. The crowd is enthusiastic and the atmosphere is suspenseful. What a tense fight this has become! Let’s go over to our unofficial ring side scorer, Harold Lederman. Harold, how do you have it?”
Lederman: “Okay, Jim! 29-27…2 rounds to 1…Max Kellerman! Jim, I gotta’ tell ya’…Max was making the mistake of believing his own hype! He ran into Emanuel’s punches constantly in the first round and was completely dominated! He was simply trying to knock out Emanuel Steward, and with a fighter of that prestige, you just can’t do that! In the second and third rounds, Max has been doing a much better job by using his jab to set up his punches, which seem to be giving Emanuel trouble! 29-27…Max Kellerman!”
Merchant: “I scored the first round…10-8 for Emanuel.”
Lampley: “I did as well. Max didn’t land a single punch in the first, while Emanuel landed a total of…26 out of 49. Are you watching the fight, Harold?”
Lederman: “Jim, I gotta’ tell ya…this hot dog I’m eatin’ has sensational knockout power! It’s got ketchup, potato sticks, relish and the kind of meat that man loves! 1st round knockout...10 to 0…Mr. Hot Dog! Jim!”
Lampley: “All right, uh…”
Lennox: “Harold, you’re not supposed to be eating in here.”
Lederman: “I gotta’ tell ya’ Lennox. If you tried this hot dog, you’d kill your mama for it! I swear to God! Go ahead, have a piece!”
Lennox: “No thanks.”
Lampley: “All right, inside the ring a much more active Emanuel Steward throwing punches, much like in the first round, and Kellerman reverts to waiting it out.”
Harold: “I wonder if Max can smell the hot dog from up there, Jim!”
Lennox: “Harold, you don’t speak to Jim. Jim speaks to you, okay?”
Harold: “JIM!”
~o~
Lennox: “Max was so strong in the last two rounds and now he’s being way too cautious.”
Lampley: “Emanuel sticking and moving and Max pressing forward trying to corner Emanuel. You see the sheer determination within these two fighters and get the impression that neither one truly believes that he can lose.”
Merchant: “These usually make the best fights.”
Lampley: “I whole heartedly agree.”
~o~
Lampley: “Emanuel clinches as Max comes within range, but Kellerman pushes him back into the ropes and goes on the offensive…Emanuel slips away again, throws a straight right that snaps Kellerman’s head back, but he continues to aggressively stalk his opponent.”
Lennox: “Max is just being reckless now. He’s looking to take him out! He’s not landing those punches cleanly and if Emanuel can just time it right, he can knock down Kellerman with a hook.”
Lampley: “I agree. He looks like an amateur.”
Merchant: “He is an amateur.”
*Commentators chuckle*
Lampley: “Oh! A left hook lands flush on the face of Kellerman, still unfazed, continues to press forward, trying to smother Emanuel.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Break! Break!”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Merchant: “You know, it’s interesting to note that...Kellerman…regardless of whether he wins or not…he plans to retire…after the fight.”
Lampley: “Well, it’s no surprise there…this fight is essentially a grudge match and even billed as one in the promotional advertisements leading up to the fight. This could be the first and only fight in boxing in which non-athletes are allowed to fight in such a highly dramatized atmosphere and elaborate stage…….it’s strange when you think about it.”
Merchant: “Even I want to get up there and slug a few rounds with someone.”
Lampley: “…….”
Lennox: “…….”
Lampley: “Who exactly would that be?”
Merchant: “I don’t know, Jim. Heh-heh. I just thought out loud, that’s all.”
Lampley: “1 minute and 40 seconds to go in Round 4, and so far it has been a round for Emanuel. It’s evident that Kellerman can’t exactly box, but nevertheless he still seems capable of knocking out Emanuel in a single punch.”
Lennox: “He’s got a really good chin, too.”
Lampley: “Oh, undoubtedly. His face apparently holds up better than Arturo Gatti’s, though I imagine he wouldn’t want to be compared to him.”
Merchant: “Well, if we keep seeing more of what happened in the first round… Kellerman’s face might become a replica…of Gatti’s at the end.”
Lampley: “Emanuel is winning the round. He’s not outright dominating, but he’s doing good enough to let everyone know who’s landing the effective blows.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “Still over a minute and a half to go, and Emanuel is beginning to clinch.”
Lennox: “I wonder why he’s doing that. He hasn’t looked like he’s been having trouble landing his punches.”
Lampley: “I’m perplexed just as you are, Lennox.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “The clinching becoming increasingly frequent, to the point where you start to think…at any moment, referee Mills Lane might consider deducting a point.”
Merchant: “If clinching were a sign of affection…Emanuel would be…a very generous…person.”
Lampley: “He might be warned at any moment; the clinching from Emanuel began for no apparent reason.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Watch your head, guys! Watch your heads!”
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “Both fighters clash heads momentarily as they try to avoid punches while fighting on the inside. Max, looking more and more frustrated as the fight progresses, complains to the referee from time to time.”
Lennox: “And he has good reason to complain. Emanuel is trying to run away with the round, but he’s almost running! I’ve never seen such fast backpedaling, any faster and he’ll start running backwards literally.”
Lampley: “Does this remind you of something?”
Lennox: “No. Why?”
Lampley: “Oliver McCall?”
Lennox: “Well, that was different. He was just walking to the side, not looking at me, not throwing punches…at least Emanuel is punching back from time to time, but…Emanuel now looks tired.”
Lampley: “Well, he IS tired. At his age, it’s even remarkable that he’s taken some blows and hasn’t become unconscious.”
Merchant: “This isn’t going to last much longer…he’s looking like a paranoid man right about now, as if his worst fears could come true at any second.”
Lampley: “I think you’re right, I think—
*Max lands a strong punch*
*Crowd groans*
Lampley: “BIG LEFT HOOK by Kellerman, stuns Emanuel! And Emanuel fights back, lands 2 hooks! Both fighters exchanging desperately as the round begins to wind down, Emanuel getting the better of it! Max lunges in with an overhand right, but Emanuel holds on!”
*Max knees Emanuel*
*Emanuel falls down*
*Crowd groans*
Lampley: “A blatant and shameful low blow by Max Kellerman! Emanuel down on the canvas, wincing from the pain...”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Go to your corner! Go to your corner!”
*Crowd booing*
*Steward gets up and walks side to side*
Mills Lane: “You okay?...You hurt?...Take 5 minutes, you got 5 minutes! I’m going to deduct a point.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “No warnings here. Mills Lane has decided to immediately deduct a point.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “One point deduction!...One point deduction!...One point deduction!”
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
*Emanuel stands on the commentator’s side of the ring*
Lampley: “Emanuel Steward is standing over us and explaining the situation……he’s saying that Max is a baby.”
Lennox: “Well, how about that? Heh-heh!”
Steward: “God, man! I can’t feel my testicles…feels like someone stuck an ice bag in my trunks and it’s giving me a freezer burn!”
Lampley: “Well, don’t talk to us, Emanuel! Walk it off! Relax and walk it off!”
Steward: “I’m gonna’ get back at him! I’m gonna’ give him such an ass-whoopin’!”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
5 minutes later…
Lampley: “The fight picks up again with 23 seconds left. Emanuel rushes in and BACKS KELLERMAN UP THROWING NOTHING BUT POWER PUNCHES! MAX TRYING TO HOLD ON, BUT EMANUEL WON’T LET HIM! HE’S HAMMERING AWAY RELENTLESSLY, PUNCHING THROUGH THE TARGET! UNBELIEVABLE!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! KELLERMAN SLUMPING AND EMANUEL…LANDING HEAVY SHOTS…THIS WOULD BE THE MOST SATISFYING MOMENT OF EMANUEL STEWARD’S BOXING CAREER, IF HE COULD MAKE KELLERMAN EAT HIS WORDS, IF HE COULD KNOCK…HIM…OUT!”
Lennox: “They’re gonna’ stop the fight!”
*Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!*
Lampley: “The sound of the bell ends the round, but Emanuel keeps punching! Mills Lane pulls Emanuel away, and Kellerman lands a punch afterwards! Emanuel retaliates, Kellerman again attacks! And now security comes in to settle things down! What a tense round! Crowd on its feet, this is incredible!”
Merchant: “This is what the fans came to see.”
ROUND 4…
Lampley: “After three rounds, we have been treated to a truly interesting and action-packed fight so far. The crowd is enthusiastic and the atmosphere is suspenseful. What a tense fight this has become! Let’s go over to our unofficial ring side scorer, Harold Lederman. Harold, how do you have it?”
Lederman: “Okay, Jim! 29-27…2 rounds to 1…Max Kellerman! Jim, I gotta’ tell ya’…Max was making the mistake of believing his own hype! He ran into Emanuel’s punches constantly in the first round and was completely dominated! He was simply trying to knock out Emanuel Steward, and with a fighter of that prestige, you just can’t do that! In the second and third rounds, Max has been doing a much better job by using his jab to set up his punches, which seem to be giving Emanuel trouble! 29-27…Max Kellerman!”
Merchant: “I scored the first round…10-8 for Emanuel.”
Lampley: “I did as well. Max didn’t land a single punch in the first, while Emanuel landed a total of…26 out of 49. Are you watching the fight, Harold?”
Lederman: “Jim, I gotta’ tell ya…this hot dog I’m eatin’ has sensational knockout power! It’s got ketchup, potato sticks, relish and the kind of meat that man loves! 1st round knockout...10 to 0…Mr. Hot Dog! Jim!”
Lampley: “All right, uh…”
Lennox: “Harold, you’re not supposed to be eating in here.”
Lederman: “I gotta’ tell ya’ Lennox. If you tried this hot dog, you’d kill your mama for it! I swear to God! Go ahead, have a piece!”
Lennox: “No thanks.”
Lampley: “All right, inside the ring a much more active Emanuel Steward throwing punches, much like in the first round, and Kellerman reverts to waiting it out.”
Harold: “I wonder if Max can smell the hot dog from up there, Jim!”
Lennox: “Harold, you don’t speak to Jim. Jim speaks to you, okay?”
Harold: “JIM!”
~o~
Lennox: “Max was so strong in the last two rounds and now he’s being way too cautious.”
Lampley: “Emanuel sticking and moving and Max pressing forward trying to corner Emanuel. You see the sheer determination within these two fighters and get the impression that neither one truly believes that he can lose.”
Merchant: “These usually make the best fights.”
Lampley: “I whole heartedly agree.”
~o~
Lampley: “Emanuel clinches as Max comes within range, but Kellerman pushes him back into the ropes and goes on the offensive…Emanuel slips away again, throws a straight right that snaps Kellerman’s head back, but he continues to aggressively stalk his opponent.”
Lennox: “Max is just being reckless now. He’s looking to take him out! He’s not landing those punches cleanly and if Emanuel can just time it right, he can knock down Kellerman with a hook.”
Lampley: “I agree. He looks like an amateur.”
Merchant: “He is an amateur.”
*Commentators chuckle*
Lampley: “Oh! A left hook lands flush on the face of Kellerman, still unfazed, continues to press forward, trying to smother Emanuel.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Break! Break!”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Merchant: “You know, it’s interesting to note that...Kellerman…regardless of whether he wins or not…he plans to retire…after the fight.”
Lampley: “Well, it’s no surprise there…this fight is essentially a grudge match and even billed as one in the promotional advertisements leading up to the fight. This could be the first and only fight in boxing in which non-athletes are allowed to fight in such a highly dramatized atmosphere and elaborate stage…….it’s strange when you think about it.”
Merchant: “Even I want to get up there and slug a few rounds with someone.”
Lampley: “…….”
Lennox: “…….”
Lampley: “Who exactly would that be?”
Merchant: “I don’t know, Jim. Heh-heh. I just thought out loud, that’s all.”
Lampley: “1 minute and 40 seconds to go in Round 4, and so far it has been a round for Emanuel. It’s evident that Kellerman can’t exactly box, but nevertheless he still seems capable of knocking out Emanuel in a single punch.”
Lennox: “He’s got a really good chin, too.”
Lampley: “Oh, undoubtedly. His face apparently holds up better than Arturo Gatti’s, though I imagine he wouldn’t want to be compared to him.”
Merchant: “Well, if we keep seeing more of what happened in the first round… Kellerman’s face might become a replica…of Gatti’s at the end.”
Lampley: “Emanuel is winning the round. He’s not outright dominating, but he’s doing good enough to let everyone know who’s landing the effective blows.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “Still over a minute and a half to go, and Emanuel is beginning to clinch.”
Lennox: “I wonder why he’s doing that. He hasn’t looked like he’s been having trouble landing his punches.”
Lampley: “I’m perplexed just as you are, Lennox.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “The clinching becoming increasingly frequent, to the point where you start to think…at any moment, referee Mills Lane might consider deducting a point.”
Merchant: “If clinching were a sign of affection…Emanuel would be…a very generous…person.”
Lampley: “He might be warned at any moment; the clinching from Emanuel began for no apparent reason.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Watch your head, guys! Watch your heads!”
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “Both fighters clash heads momentarily as they try to avoid punches while fighting on the inside. Max, looking more and more frustrated as the fight progresses, complains to the referee from time to time.”
Lennox: “And he has good reason to complain. Emanuel is trying to run away with the round, but he’s almost running! I’ve never seen such fast backpedaling, any faster and he’ll start running backwards literally.”
Lampley: “Does this remind you of something?”
Lennox: “No. Why?”
Lampley: “Oliver McCall?”
Lennox: “Well, that was different. He was just walking to the side, not looking at me, not throwing punches…at least Emanuel is punching back from time to time, but…Emanuel now looks tired.”
Lampley: “Well, he IS tired. At his age, it’s even remarkable that he’s taken some blows and hasn’t become unconscious.”
Merchant: “This isn’t going to last much longer…he’s looking like a paranoid man right about now, as if his worst fears could come true at any second.”
Lampley: “I think you’re right, I think—
*Max lands a strong punch*
*Crowd groans*
Lampley: “BIG LEFT HOOK by Kellerman, stuns Emanuel! And Emanuel fights back, lands 2 hooks! Both fighters exchanging desperately as the round begins to wind down, Emanuel getting the better of it! Max lunges in with an overhand right, but Emanuel holds on!”
*Max knees Emanuel*
*Emanuel falls down*
*Crowd groans*
Lampley: “A blatant and shameful low blow by Max Kellerman! Emanuel down on the canvas, wincing from the pain...”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “Go to your corner! Go to your corner!”
*Crowd booing*
*Steward gets up and walks side to side*
Mills Lane: “You okay?...You hurt?...Take 5 minutes, you got 5 minutes! I’m going to deduct a point.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Lampley: “No warnings here. Mills Lane has decided to immediately deduct a point.”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
Mills Lane: “One point deduction!...One point deduction!...One point deduction!”
o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
*Emanuel stands on the commentator’s side of the ring*
Lampley: “Emanuel Steward is standing over us and explaining the situation……he’s saying that Max is a baby.”
Lennox: “Well, how about that? Heh-heh!”
Steward: “God, man! I can’t feel my testicles…feels like someone stuck an ice bag in my trunks and it’s giving me a freezer burn!”
Lampley: “Well, don’t talk to us, Emanuel! Walk it off! Relax and walk it off!”
Steward: “I’m gonna’ get back at him! I’m gonna’ give him such an ass-whoopin’!”
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
5 minutes later…
Lampley: “The fight picks up again with 23 seconds left. Emanuel rushes in and BACKS KELLERMAN UP THROWING NOTHING BUT POWER PUNCHES! MAX TRYING TO HOLD ON, BUT EMANUEL WON’T LET HIM! HE’S HAMMERING AWAY RELENTLESSLY, PUNCHING THROUGH THE TARGET! UNBELIEVABLE!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! KELLERMAN SLUMPING AND EMANUEL…LANDING HEAVY SHOTS…THIS WOULD BE THE MOST SATISFYING MOMENT OF EMANUEL STEWARD’S BOXING CAREER, IF HE COULD MAKE KELLERMAN EAT HIS WORDS, IF HE COULD KNOCK…HIM…OUT!”
Lennox: “They’re gonna’ stop the fight!”
*Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!*
Lampley: “The sound of the bell ends the round, but Emanuel keeps punching! Mills Lane pulls Emanuel away, and Kellerman lands a punch afterwards! Emanuel retaliates, Kellerman again attacks! And now security comes in to settle things down! What a tense round! Crowd on its feet, this is incredible!”
Merchant: “This is what the fans came to see.”
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Good stuff.
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