HBO: "Telling it like it is..."

[Ictus]

I laughed my ass off ! Keep 'em coming !

[djsygo]

hahaha great comedy stuff i can see it played by plastiline puppies 'Celebrity Deathmatch' style

[TintaBoricua]

HBO: Telling it like it is (Episode 3) Pre-fight introductions and the Opening Round

*Ding!*

Buffer: “Ladies and gentleman, Top Rank and Golden Boy Promotions are proud to present…‘Old School meets New School’…sponsored by…Tecate Cerveza and Rocky 6: Rematch with Mason Dixon in theaters this July.
Fighting out of the blue corner, he has a professional record consisting of: 56 wins, 30 coming by way of knockout, only 3 defeats and 2 draws. He’s the legendary trainer, commentator and tonight a fighter of the modern era. Ladies and gentleman, from Bottom Creek, West ******ia…Emanuel… ‘Sooooooooooooooooooooul Traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain’ Steward!”
And in the red corner, straight outta’ the hood, making his professional debut: Max ‘*** Man’ Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllermaaaaaaaaan!”

*Applause*

*Both fighters go to the center for instructions*

Mills Lane: “All right, guys. You received my instructions in the dressing room. I want a clean fight. Keep it above the waist, no pushing, no elbowing, head-butting or biting the ears. I don’t wanna have to go through with that again. Break when I say so…let’s have a good clean fight! Touch gloves!”

*Kellerman shoves Steward by the face*
*Crowd groans*
*Steward falls over*

Mills Lane: “No! No! No! No! No! No! No! I’m not gonna’ have any of that! I don’t know what you did before boxing, but you can’t just walk in here and pretend to do whatever the hell you wanna’! You do something like that again, I won’t think twice on deducting points, you understand?!”

Kellerman: *Nods*

Lennox: “Wow…they must really hate each other!”

Lampley: “And now a riot is going to break out in the ring! Taylor throws a left hook, and Kellerman stumbles back and falls through the ropes and out of the ring! He’s out cold! This is incredible! And Kellerman’s trainers attack Jermain! It’s a free-for all slugfest! Taylor’s tackled to the canvas while Mayweather is as poised as ever in his corner!”

Lennox: “Mayweather never panics, he’s waiting for the officials to settle these things!”

Merchant: “The fight hasn’t started…and yet…if the fight were to be cancelled…I would think we’ve seen enough action within mere seconds………to justify the hype.”

………

Lampley: “Ringside officials are trying to calm things down, while…..

*Camera shows Kellerman out cold*

Lampley: “……Kellerman remains unconscious.”

*Camera shows Kelly Pavlik in the crowd laughing*

Lampley: “As Taylor finally stands up, the parties are split up and order seems to be restored in the ring.”

Lennox: “I think they’ll remove Taylor for what he caused.”

Merchant: “I think you’re right, Lennox….Kellerman might’ve been wrong in shoving Emanuel, but Taylor should not have jumped in there and attacked Kellerman….Now we are experiencing pandemonium and a fighter knocked senseless lying…outside the ring.”

Lennox: “Well, one thing’s for sure: Max’s chin has been tested and it already doesn’t look good.”

Lampley: “Now wait a minute, Lennox. I think anybody would’ve gone down with a lunging left hook, especially when they’re not expecting it.”

Lennox: “N-n-no…I think I would’ve been able to take the punch.”

*Lampley and Merchant chuckle*

Lampley: “What?! Are you serious?!”

Lennox: “Definitely serious, Jim. I would’ve been able to withstand it.”

Lampley: “I don’t mean to refute what you say, Lennox, but that was a tight lunging left hook, not to mention the force of the body weight coming on to the receiver.”

Lennox: “N-no…the punch isn’t as—

Merchant: “I think the reason why you say you could’ve taken the punch, Lennox, is because you’re a natural heavyweight and, to you, Jermain doesn’t look all that intimidating.”

Lennox: “You’re right, Larry. Jermain isn’t necessarily a power puncher; he’s more of a speedy ‘stick and move’ kind of fighter.”

Lampley: “Exactly. Anyway, let’s go over to the ring where Kellerman is regaining his senses after having been awoken.”

Mills Lane: “Okay, Kellerman…Steward…..don’t start **** in here! I’m the law! We’ve already been startled to death with the riot you guys caused. I expect you to obey my commands, let’s have a clean fight! Touch gloves and come out after the—

*Steward knees Kellerman in the groin*

Mills Lane: “God dammit!”

*Crowd groans*

*Kellerman falls over*

Mills Lane: “Go to your corner, Emanuel!”

Lampley: “Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse—Floyd Mayweather comes into the ring, the riot starts up again! Floyd trips and security restrains him, while a deranged fan manages to reach the ring and tackles Emanuel and pandemonium ensues!”

*Various camera angles are shown, most of them obscured by people’s butts, legs and backs*

Overheard audio:

Mills Lane: “Get off of me! Get off!”

Steward: “He’s biting me! He’s biting me!”

Kellerman: “Oh, God! M-….my balls!”

Madison Square Garden security #1: “Get off of Steward, sir!”

Madison Square Garden security #2: “Kellerman, can I have your autograph?”

Kellerman: “No!”

10 minutes later…ROUND ONE

Lampley: “Much to the dismay of fans here in the arena, the fight may be cancelled due to the problems beyond the Garden’s control…should this continue.”

*Inside the ring, Lane calls both fighters to the center*

Lampley: “Now with two mini-riots, the fight could be drastically different than how it was originally intended. Mills Lane goes to the center of the ring in crutches and a head bandage, Steward approaches with both gloves covering his crotch and Kellerman kind of...hunched…apparently still hurt from the low blow.”

Merchant: “I’m starting to wonder if we’ll ever get to see the fight happen.”

*Inside the ring*

Mills Lane: “Okay guys, I’m gonna’ be honest! I don’t care how you guys fight, I don’t care if you tackle each other down and turn this into a street fight, but at least give the fans one round or else we’ll all die here in a major riot! You understand?! Touch--……just go to your corners!”

Lampley: “You can barely hear Lane’s instructions among the crowd enthusiastically cheering as they anticipate the fight!”

Merchant: “This is the moment of truth. Who will prevail: The brash, arrogant and youthful Kellerman or the experienced, technical fighter that is…Emanuel Steward?”

Lampley: “There’s the bell and the fight starts off with both fighters racing to each other! Kellerman swings a wild left hook and Steward sways back and counterpunches with a straight right, momentarily stuns Kellerman, but Kellerman keeps pressing forward.”

Merchant: “Kellerman……is reminding me of Hatton……in his last fight against Mayweather. He’s relentless, and isn’t intimidated…by the technique that his opponent shows.”

Lampley: “Kellerman ties him up as he pushes Steward into the ropes. Lane steps in and separates the fighters with his crutches.”

*Kellerman throws wild hooks and misses*

Lennox: “You know, there’s a reason why Max is favored to win this fight. It’s because he has the one punch KO factor.”

Lampley: “And it’s not because he’s a tremendous puncher, it’s just that Emanuel cannot hold up to a punch from a youthful contender.”

Lennox: “That’s right.”

Lampley: “Emanuel using his footwork and evasion to nullify Kellerman’s power. So far, Kellerman hasn’t landed any meaningful punches. He’s solely relying on a perfect shot.”

Lennox: “Kellerman can easily win this fight if he just ties Manny up and pushes him into the corner, and goes to the body. He’s headhunting, and by doing that he’s playing to Manny’s strength, which is to use his footwork and body movement. Kellerman’s going to get frustrated!”

Lampley: “Likely so. Every time Kellerman throws a hook, Emanuel either sways back or when Kellerman throws to the body, Emanuel counterpunches down with a straight right. So far, Emanuel hasn’t wobbled his opponent, but you can speculate that with enough shots, the fight could be stopped.”

Merchant: “Things are looking bleak for Kellerman, and if he isn’t patient and smart, he’ll soon mentally break down if Steward keeps humiliating him like this.”

Lampley: “And now, Kellerman pumps his fists as if to say, ‘Fight me like a man!’ But Emanuel just keeps on his toes, keeping Kellerman at bay with the jab and short combinations!”

*Bell sounds*

Lampley: “And at the end of the first round, Kellerman has been outhustled…by Emanuel Steward.”

*In the corners*

Floyd Mayweather: “Max, baby! What the hell are ya’ doin’?! I’m in the corner watchin’ the fight and listenin’ to the commentators! You know what they’re sayin’?! They’re comparing you to Ricky Hatton!”

Kellerman: “Isn’t that supposed to be good?”

Floyd Mayweather: “Naw, man! They’re comparing you to Ricky Hatton when he fought against me!”

Kellerman: “Uh-oh!”

Floyd Mayweather: “You damn right ‘uh-oh’! You gonna’ meet a check left hook if you keep walking in there without keeping them hands up! Drink some water!”

*Max drinks water*

Mayweather: “Why are you throwing wild hooks?! Huh?! Why you throwin’ them?!”

Kellerman: “I don’t know.”

Mayweather: “You could knock him out if you could land one of them, but that ain’t gonna’ happen… ‘cause he’s too slick! Go to the body first if you’re gonna’ go kamikaze on his ass!”

~o~o~o~

Taylor: “Damn, man! You doin’ good! Puttin’ a boxin’ clinic! Nice!”

Steward: “He ain’t got nothin’ on me!”

Taylor: “That’s right, baby! Just keep boxing him! Keep boxing him! He doesn’t stand a chance! You’re gonna’ prove all these critics wrong!”

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments appreciated! The more I receive, the more motivated I get!

Mayweather/Pacquiao transcript about to be updated soon! Heads up!

[Kivian]

haha I can't wait for the next part. Great idea man and I don't want you stoppin after this fight. I'd love to see Lampley vs Merchant

[The_Bull]

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! This is fucking genius!!!!!!!! Keep writing bro you got all of our supports.

[kenso]

i cried when taylor knocked out kellerman, ****ing gold.

[toluco]

yeah man thats really entertaining keep up the good work

[hishaam15]

damnn, part 4!!!

[TintaBoricua]

HBO: Telling it like it is (Part 4)- Rounds 2 and 3 of the Bout

ROUND TWO…

Lampley: “Round two starts off, and Kellerman maintains his distance this time after a disastrous first round.”

Lennox: “Well, I wouldn’t call it disastrous. Max just got outboxed, that’s all.”

Lampley: “Kellerman didn’t land anything during that round, Lennox. It was a one-sided round.”

Lennox: “Well, yeah…in that case. It was definitely a disastrous round.”

Lampley: “Kellerman is now fighting Emanuel by applying the jab and throwing methodical punches. Mayweather’s advice must’ve been useful.”

Merchant: “I think it’s strange that…Mayweather…still a fighter at this moment…chose to train another fighter. I wonder if this is a psychological tactic he’s using against his next opponent Cotto, similar to when he starred on a reality TV series while at the same time…training for Ricky Hatton back in 2007.”

Lampley: “Kellerman gets the better part of a brief exchange and Emanuel backs off momentarily.”

~o~o~

Merchant: “He’s looking a bit winded, Jim.”

Lampley: “I agree, Larry. The first round must’ve taken a lot out of him, because Kellerman has his hands lower than how they were before, unless he’s trying to bait Emanuel to come to him. Regardless of what it is, there is no doubt that Emanuel is so far winning this round as well. Emanuel lunges in suddenly with a left hook to the body AND Kellerman RRRROCKS him WITH A LEFT HOOK to the head. EMANUEL’S LEGS BUCKLE!”

*Crowd shouting*

Lennox: “He’s definitely hurt!”

Lampley: “EMANUEL RETREATS AS KELLERMAN GOES IN FOR THE KILL! LEFT AND RIGHT HOOKS RAINING ON EMANUEL AND HE PARTIALLY BLOCKS SOME OF THE INCOMING SHOTS! He ties Kellerman up but he is still on shaky legs. Mill Lane breaks them up and Kellerman goes back to work by focusing on the body. Good left hook to the body by Kellerman, doesn’t seem to affect Emanuel as he throws a 1,2 combination that doesn’t land cleanly.”

Lennox: “Emanuel is really shaky, he’s throwing back punches but I don’t think he should be doing that. He’s hurt bad enough as it is, if Max lands one more hook I don’t think he’ll be able to get up.”

Lampley: “Emanuel grimacing as Kellerman throws a left hook that is partially blocked AND HE IS KNOCKED BACK INTO THE CORNER! KELLERMAN FLURRIES AGAIN, BUT EMANUEL SOMEHOW MANAGES TO TIE HIM UP!”

Merchant: “Emanuel is a fireman that entered a burning building…and found himself in hell itself. Now he is trying to find his way back…but the debris behind him…has sealed the exit.”

Lampley: “I don’t think he expected for Kellerman to hurt him, and that’s understandable given Kellerman’s blank background as a boxer. Emanuel doesn’t seem to have a plan as of this moment.”

Lennox: “Well, it’s kinda’ hard to think when your head’s buzzing after your face takes a left hook at breakneck speed.”

Lampley: “…”

Lennox: “…”

Lampley: “I concur. Emanuel back-pedaling trying to keep Kellerman off of him, but Kellerman has resorted to stalking his opponent as in the first round. If Kellerman weren’t so hot-headed and impulsive, he could finish off Emanuel right now!”

Lennox: “Yes. But you have to remember: Kellerman has no experience—

Lampley: “HUGE OVERHAND RIGHT BY KELLERMAN! EMANUEL’S OUT OF IT! HE STAGGERS BACK INTO THE ROPES, BUT SOMEHOW…MANAGES TO TIE KELLERMAN UP AGAIN!”

Lennox: “Kellerman keeps making the mistake of getting tied up. He should mix up his punches and throw from different angles.”

Lampley: “…….I see your point, Lennox. But if the fight continues like this, it won’t matter how much Manny ties up Kellerman, at the end of the day if you’re on the receiving end of the punches, someone’s going to stop the fight.”

Merchant: “Kellerman has had…a monstrous round so far.”

*Bell sounds*

Lampley: “And there’s the bell as we reach the end of the second round.”

*Kellerman’s corner*

Floyd Mayweather, Jr: “Max, that was a terrific round! Terrific round, but listen…you’re not stickin’ to the plan, baby! Get tighter with those punches, you’re on the brink of knocking him out, but focus, all right? Don’t go swingin’ in there like a gorilla, box that little midget!”

*Emanuel’s corner*

Taylor: “Manny! Whatchu’ doin out there?! You gettin’ clocked worse than I did against Pavlik! He’s an amateur, but you can’t expect to lunge in and not get hurt, all right? Keep on your toes, don’t get trapped in the corner! You’re tying him up great, but I don’t wanna’ see anymore of that! The further you can stay from him, the better! Stay on the outside!”

Emanuel: “That punk got lucky!”

Taylor: “That’s right! This is your round, baby!”

Emanuel: “This is my round!”

Emanuel: “I can feel it!”

Taylor: “Go get it!”

ROUND THREE…

Lampley: “It’s 12:20 am in Madison Square Garden as we start off Round 3. A rocky start for the favorite Kellerman, but then in the second round he was able to rally to prove he doesn’t plan on being shut-out in the scorecards. An interesting fight thus far.”

~o~

Lampley: “Emanuel firing off that laser-like jab, determined to keep Kellerman at bay. Kellerman steadily blocking the incoming shots.”

Lennox: “You can see how cautious both fighters are being right now. I think that after both of them had their moments, they’ve come to respect each other’s strengths. But right now, Emanuel’s controlling the tempo by keeping Max off him.”

~0~

Lampley: “With half of the round remaining, both fighters have been reluctant to risk anything. Kellerman is throwing much lesser punches than the previous rounds, and Emanuel is throwing back but so far, unsuccessful in landing clean, effective counterpunches.”

Lennox: “And you see that. You see that…Emanuel is throwing punches, but since he’s primarily a counterpuncher, he’s being tentative when he sees Max picking his punches carefully.”

Merchant: “He’s just cruising.”

Lennox: “Exactly. He’s afraid to let those punches go.”

Lampley: “GOOD left to the body by Kellerman, and Emanuel continues to use his foot speed to work Kellerman around the ring.

~0~

Merchant: “You know, sometimes I start to think…what a strange…fight this is. It’s absolutely unorthodox when you think about it, and off the subject…I’m starting to wonder…if this will be a following trend…in the upcoming months.”

Lampley: “Trainers against trainers?”

Merchant: “As hard as it is to imagine that and not cringe, yes.”

Lennox: “Heh-heh.”

Lampley: “We’ll see if they put Freddie Roach in there with Nacho Beristain at the end of this year.”

Merchant: “Now that…would be something.”

*All three chuckle*

~o~

Lampley: “Kellerman, so far has been the aggressor, but Emanuel, the slightly more accurate puncher. It would be interesting to see how the judges will score it. Half a minute to go in round 3.”

30…29…28…27…26…25…24…

Lennox: “That is what Emanuel is consistently doing, and Max hasn’t grown aware of that. Emanuel throws 2 jabs and then rushes in to clinch. Max can time in a hook if he sees the pattern, but he hasn’t so far.”

17…16…15…14…

Lampley: “Emanuel tries to tie him up and gets hurt with a straight left, and they start exchanging! EMANUEL GOES DOWN TO A KNEE!”

*Crowd yelling*

Lennox: “That looked like he was off balance!”

Lampley: “The count’s up to 5...”

*Inside the ring Lane counts to 8 and resumes the fight*

*Ding!*

Lampley: “A lackluster round, punctuated with a surprise knockdown!”

Lennox: “Manny was off balance. He wasn’t really hurt with that punch. It’s just that Max caught him when he was moving his upper body.”

*Kellerman’s corner*

Mayweather: “That’s right, man! Who’s the boss?!”

Kellerman: “I am!”

Mayweather: “Damn right! I like the way you handlin’ that dude, Max! You’re smart! You’re a smart fighter! Keep doing whatchu’ doin’, and don’t let this guy decide how the fight’s gonna’ go! Keep workin’ the body, mother****er’s already tired!”

*Emanuel’s corner*

Taylor: “Dammit, man! What are you doin’ out there?! Why you afraid to punch this sucka’?! Go out there and do something!”

Emanuel: “Yes, sir.”

Taylor: “You got 3 minutes, doesn’t matter if you miss, but throw some fu**in’ punches!”

Emanuel: “Yes, sir.”

*WHISTLE*

*Cameras show the knockdown replay*

Lennox: “Here we see Max and Emanuel…exchanging punches…but one of, uhh…Max’s right hook caught Emanuel…made him lose his footing and here…the next punch, which is a left hook, catches Emanuel right on the side of the head and finally knocked him down. But it was more due to Emanuel being off balance. He wasn’t really all that hurt.”

TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments/Feedback appreciated!

[Kivian]

Haha I'm a big fan of yours Really good story, I'm dyin to see Ledermans scorecards after 4th