so i wrote an essay on boxing

[T-97]

didnt boof say he was a teacher too?

I think so. It's a shame Boof got banned.

[Guest]

I think so. It's a shame Boof got banned.

He was wrong about JMM but I didn't think that deserved a ban.
He's got a unique viewpoint for sure. It can be entertaining at times.

I guess he must've pissed off the mods pretty bad.

[T-97]

He was wrong about JMM but I didn't think that deserved a ban.
He's got a unique viewpoint for sure. It can be entertaining at times.

I guess he must've pissed off the mods pretty bad.

I dunno what happened, something to do with some PMs he exchanged with an Admin. But I don't see what he did that was so bad really. Not enough to deserve a perma-ban, surely.

[TheManchine]

He did. They banned him so he can't respond here.

I quit teaching. No money in it really.

its sad they banned him,

i liked boof but he seemed kind of stubborn though

[badboypeenoy]

I don't teach English, in fact my grammar sucks, but I will try to contribute.

It would help if you make an outline. Introduction, body then conclusion.

Intro should immediately catch the reader's attention. It should also give the reader a feel of what your whole essay will be about, sort of like a teaser. I think it would be good if you state what sets boxing apart from other sports and why it enjoys the following it has today.

I know you only want to concentrate on the problems of the sport but I think you also have to tell the reader why you chose to do so, what is at stake? I think this should immediately be understood by the reader. What are these problems' effects to the sport in relation to its current popularity and its future. Why must we effect change?

I also think you should write with your reader in mind. Not everyone is knowledgeable about boxing, so talk in layman's terms. What are sanctioning bodies, what are the four sanctioning bodies you are talking about? Don't assume that they know. What does a 115-110 score mean? Is that score close? "Promoters", who are these people? Name names, give examples, preferably popular ones, same with the boxers...try to give more popular names Gracciano Rocchigiani sounds more like a gay fashion designer than a boxer to a layman. The body of the essay is where you put all the details, and all the lengthy information so try to keep the reader interested by giving them names, places, and faces that they are more likely to be familiar with.

The conclusion is where you expound on the effects of the problems in boxing and why we must do something about it. If you can be specific on what one can do to make boxing better that would be great. Also try to inject the fact that promoters, if they want boxing to continue to enjoy its current popularity, should clean up their act, especially in the light of the growing threat of the popularity of other combat sports like MMA. It is always nice to end on a good note too, so tell the reader what your ideal scenario for boxing is. You know...where champions are really champions, judges are respected and promoters give the fans their money's worth.

Just my two cents.

[boxasmash]

A World Champ and an English Teacher? You're mulit-talented, bro.

EDIT- I don't have anything to add that jreck didn't already mention. Good points, just a little editing here and there to make it flow more and it'll be fine imo.

what does a 15 year old now about english

[T-97]

what does a 15 year old now about english

I dunno, but i'm not 15 so I wouldn't.

[kenso]

I don't teach English, in fact my grammar sucks, but I will try to contribute.

It would help if you make an outline. Introduction, body then conclusion.

Intro should immediately catch the reader's attention. It should also give the reader a feel of what your whole essay will be about, sort of like a teaser. I think it would be good if you state what sets boxing apart from other sports and why it enjoys the following it has today.

I know you only want to concentrate on the problems of the sport but I think you also have to tell the reader why you chose to do so, what is at stake? I think this should immediately be understood by the reader. What are these problems' effects to the sport in relation to its current popularity and its future. Why must we effect change?

I also think you should write with your reader in mind. Not everyone is knowledgeable about boxing, so talk in layman's terms. What are sanctioning bodies, what are the four sanctioning bodies you are talking about? Don't assume that they know. What does a 115-110 score mean? Is that score close? "Promoters", who are these people? Name names, give examples, preferably popular ones, same with the boxers...try to give more popular names Gracciano Rocchigiani sounds more like a gay fashion designer than a boxer to a layman. The body of the essay is where you put all the details, and all the lengthy information so try to keep the reader interested by giving them names, places, and faces that they are more likely to be familiar with.

The conclusion is where you expound on the effects of the problems in boxing and why we must do something about it. If you can be specific on what one can do to make boxing better that would be great. Also try to inject the fact that promoters, if they want boxing to continue to enjoy its current popularity, should clean up their act, especially in the light of the growing threat of the popularity of other combat sports like MMA. It is always nice to end on a good note too, so tell the reader what your ideal scenario for boxing is. You know...where champions are really champions, judges are respected and promoters give the fans their money's worth.

Just my two cents.

thank you! you actually addressed problems rather than just said "yea you need to clean this up" haha

thanks man, plus rep for sure i really appreciate it

i revised alot thanks to you, i cant say how grateful i am!

[kenso]

Nice points you make. You do however need to tighten the essay up.

And don't write that promotors are corrupt and judges paid-off unless you can prove it. I advice you to find another term.

Finally IMO yuo need to give some solutions to the problems you see. What can be done to make boxing better and solve the problems in your opinion. That has to be crystal-clear.

its an opinionated essay, and i didnt say judges were paid off, but that it was believed they were

promoters not making fights happening and dodging? pretty corrupt IMO.