so i wrote an essay on boxing

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  • kenso
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    #1

    so i wrote an essay on boxing

    i did this for my english class in college, any suggestions/corrections are welcome.

    Joshua Marshall
    Mr. Klongerbo
    Enc1101
    22, September 2008

    The Increasing Problems in Boxing

    Sports are activities that people from across the globe get involved in. Many people spend their entire lives following sporting events on a regular basis; some even devote their entire lives to sports. Many sports have accumulated an increasing number of problems over the years, which in turn leaves many sports fans unsatisfied. Boxing is no exception to this, as its way of running is one of the most controversial of any sport. The three most important problems with boxing today are sanctioning bodies, poor judging, and corrupt promoters.
    Sanctioning bodies are arguably the worst problem in boxing. There are sixteen weight classes, and there are four different champions per weight class. It is easy to see why there are so many fighters in the sport regarded as false champions. Each sanctioning body has its own ranking, and each ranking is totally different from the rankings of other sanctioning bodies. The sanctioning bodies often alter these rankings in a corrupt manner, which results in fighters having mandatory fights against relatively unknown and undeserving opponents instead of a fight that fans want to see. Also, sanctioning bodies have the power to strip a title from a fighter for basically any reason. In 1998, Roy Jones Jr. decided to vacate his title and move up to heavyweight to fight Buster Douglas. Gracciano Rocchigiani won the WBC light heavyweight title when he beat Michael Nunn in a title fight. After Gracciano’s win Roy Jones Jr. decided that he did not want to move to heavyweight, even though he already vacated his title. The WBC stripped Gracciano of the title and gave it back to Jones.
    Next, poor judging is probably the most annoying problem in boxing. Often one fighter will clearly win a fight, but yet judges will award the win to the other fighter; this often ruins a fighter’s career, and robs him of any win bonuses. In May of 2004, Manny Pacquiao fought Juan Manuel Marquez for the WBA and IBF featherweight titles. At the end of the fight, one judge had the fight 115-110 for Manny, another had it 115-110 for Marquez, and the final judge had it a draw. The judge who scored the fight a draw later admitted to making a mistake in his scoring the knockdowns for the first round of the fight. This is known as one of the most widely scored decisions in boxing history, and is still debated to this day, but it is a prime example of how pathetic judging can be in boxing. Often judges who are over eighty years old are brought in to judge fights. Many fans complain about this because many believe than once someone is eighty years old, they do not have the vision nor the sanity to accurately judge a professional boxing match. It is also popular belief that judges are sometimes paid off by fighters. Most notably, many believe that Evander Holyfield paid a judge a large sum of money to score the bout in his favor for his fight with Lennox Lewis.
    Finally, promoters are a major issue of concern, as they prevent the most exciting and satisfying fights in boxing. Promoters will often refuse to book a fighter to face another because they are afraid their fighter will not win. This is one reason that unification fights rarely happen, especially in the heavyweight division. When Wladimir Klitschko defeated Sultan Ibragimov in February 2008, it marked the first heavyweight unification fight since 1999. The lack of unification results in many title holders “picking and choosing” who they want to fight, rather than fighting the best. A large complaint among boxing fans is pay-per-view (PPV) fights. Promoters are the main reason that fights get placed on PPV rather than on HBO or free television. This is a major problem with boxing because almost every fight that fans consider to be potentially exciting, costs fifty dollars to view. On top of the steep fifty dollar charge, PPV fights are usually based around a single fight, and normally no other fights on the card are exciting or notable. It has been said by many analysts that promoters placing fights on PPV are “killing boxing”.
    The problems addressed have been haunting and humiliating the sport of boxing for many years, and there is no end to these problems in sight. These problems will continue to exist until the fans unite to recognize and address them. It is believed that with the abolishment of sanctioning bodies, setting higher standards for judging requirements, and ending corruption by promoters, that boxing would be a much better sport and return to its “glory days”.
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    #2
    Rewrite the first paragraph completely. That one will be marked to shreds by a professor with any knack for grammar at all.

    What you say is fine, though your transitions from point to point need to be much clearer....

    Sorry, man I used to teach English, believe it or not.

    I think a couple of re-writes would serve you well.


    The ideas themselves are very good.

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    • kenso
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      #3
      Originally posted by jreckoning
      Rewrite the first paragraph completely. That one will be marked to shreds by a professor with any knack for grammar at all.

      What you say is fine, though your transitions from point to point need to be much clearer....

      Sorry, man I used to teach English, believe it or not.

      I think a couple of re-writes would serve you well.


      The ideas themselves are very good.

      i appreciate the feedback, ill see what i can do, thanks!

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      • T-97
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        #4
        Originally posted by jreckoning
        Sorry, man I used to teach English, believe it or not.
        A World Champ and an English Teacher? You're mulit-talented, bro.

        EDIT- I don't have anything to add that jreck didn't already mention. Good points, just a little editing here and there to make it flow more and it'll be fine imo.
        Last edited by T-97; 09-22-2008, 09:26 AM.

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          #5
          Originally posted by kenso
          i appreciate the feedback, ill see what i can do, thanks!
          The transitions I see as the biggest problem. You put in the Lewis-Holyfield fight and what people may believe and then just leave it there hanging in the wind all by itself. A little historical context for that statement, for example the mob fixing fights in the past etc would go a long way in explaining your point about inadequate and corrupt judging.

          and make one paragraph lead into the next and I think you will do fine.

          Lose the generalized first sentences about sports and hit your reader in the gut with the controversial sweet science that is boxing. Grab the reader right away with a powerful statement right off the bat.
          I will stop now.

          I don't teach anymore

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            #6
            Originally posted by T-97
            A World Champ and an English Teacher? You're mulit-talented, bro.

            EDIT- I don't have anything to add that jreck didn't already mention. Good points, just a little editing here and there to make it flow more and it'll be fine imo.
            Boof******* beat Tim Witherspoon not me. I merely sparred boof when he was old and decrepit

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            • T-97
              BuyTheTicketTakeTheRide
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              #7
              Originally posted by jreckoning
              Boof******* beat Tim Witherspoon not me. I merely sparred boof when he was old and decrepit
              He told me you were a champ too, champ.

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              • BattlingNelson
                Mod a Phukka
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                #8
                Nice points you make. You do however need to tighten the essay up.

                And don't write that promotors are corrupt and judges paid-off unless you can prove it. I advice you to find another term.

                Finally IMO yuo need to give some solutions to the problems you see. What can be done to make boxing better and solve the problems in your opinion. That has to be crystal-clear.

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                • TheManchine
                  Finnish Fraud
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                  #9
                  Originally posted by T-97
                  He told me you were a champ too, champ.
                  didnt boof say he was a teacher too?

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by hungryherbert
                    didnt boof say he was a teacher too?

                    He did. They banned him so he can't respond here.

                    I quit teaching. No money in it really.

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