Tweet
There has been so much frivolity lately, I thought I would do something serious but unimportant.
Now if anything should be distributed according to its density within the population, last names should. But some last names get short changed.
Smiff is a notable example. So common that it is the traditional butt of jokes, no boxer wants to be a Smiff. How ironic then, that every professional strongman pines jealously after the name Smiff. To bad for the Smiff clan there are so few professional strongmen! Indeed! But that peculiar bunch might see it differently--they might see themselves as lucky so many Smiffs like to change their last name.
Ray Robinson, of course, was Walker Smiff Junior. You would think the divisions would be overrun with Smiffs, according to the name's density. But you are lucky to find a Smiff filling a main event, or even an undercard slot.
Let's move on.
Until Roy Joan stepped up, you could barely find a Joan in boxing who would admit to it. Who was the last Joan before him, folks? Use yer noggins, then.
Brown had Joe Brown, a man who told fewer lies than George Washton, and whose real last name was always Brown.
Where are the Wilsons in boxing, you might fairly ask next? I don't blame you. The Wilsons in boxing these days are all hiding out as Garcias and Ivanovitches.
Johnny has at least partially enjoyed its own greatness, ol' Jack the Galveston jaunt made sure of that. Harold and Vampire Johnny bring up the rear guard competently.
Tommy is a last name noticeably absent from boxing rosters.
Isn't there a champion Tommy from boxing, ever? That is horrible. There has not even been a Tommy as president. But Johnny and weak old Harry have each been there twice.
There was a Hank Tommy from country music, but I cannot think of a single great Tommy who boxed. I must have a mental block. Surely there are some Tommys somewhere with a little pride in their last name and some dynamite in their mitts!
Jackson has fared well, both for presidents and boxers. Come to think of it, for country music singers and baseball players, too. The Jacksons is an awful proud clan, whereas the Jeffersons cain't stan' 'emselves.
Until the Peterson boys come along, that was a stuckup clan all right. Recently, Parker has filled in nicely, too.
After the death of our first president the last name Washton faded. Boxers routinely change that last name for something else. You know quite a few of them conceal it and are named Washton.
* * * *
I am going to flat out list some of the clans that cannot stan' their names.
1 Smiff
2 Tommy
3 Jefferson
4 Adams
5 Lincoln
6 Wilson
7 Baker
8 Hansen
9 Washton
10 Gainer
11 Freeman
12 Carter
13 Crowell
14 Pierson
Shame on those clans!!!
The Piersons were originally hiding from Peterson anyway as Petersens. Now they are hiding from Pierson, some of them under Pearsons. This clan knows no shame.
Now if anything should be distributed according to its density within the population, last names should. But some last names get short changed.
Smiff is a notable example. So common that it is the traditional butt of jokes, no boxer wants to be a Smiff. How ironic then, that every professional strongman pines jealously after the name Smiff. To bad for the Smiff clan there are so few professional strongmen! Indeed! But that peculiar bunch might see it differently--they might see themselves as lucky so many Smiffs like to change their last name.
Ray Robinson, of course, was Walker Smiff Junior. You would think the divisions would be overrun with Smiffs, according to the name's density. But you are lucky to find a Smiff filling a main event, or even an undercard slot.
Let's move on.
Until Roy Joan stepped up, you could barely find a Joan in boxing who would admit to it. Who was the last Joan before him, folks? Use yer noggins, then.
Brown had Joe Brown, a man who told fewer lies than George Washton, and whose real last name was always Brown.
Where are the Wilsons in boxing, you might fairly ask next? I don't blame you. The Wilsons in boxing these days are all hiding out as Garcias and Ivanovitches.
Johnny has at least partially enjoyed its own greatness, ol' Jack the Galveston jaunt made sure of that. Harold and Vampire Johnny bring up the rear guard competently.
Tommy is a last name noticeably absent from boxing rosters.
Isn't there a champion Tommy from boxing, ever? That is horrible. There has not even been a Tommy as president. But Johnny and weak old Harry have each been there twice.
There was a Hank Tommy from country music, but I cannot think of a single great Tommy who boxed. I must have a mental block. Surely there are some Tommys somewhere with a little pride in their last name and some dynamite in their mitts!
Jackson has fared well, both for presidents and boxers. Come to think of it, for country music singers and baseball players, too. The Jacksons is an awful proud clan, whereas the Jeffersons cain't stan' 'emselves.
Until the Peterson boys come along, that was a stuckup clan all right. Recently, Parker has filled in nicely, too.
After the death of our first president the last name Washton faded. Boxers routinely change that last name for something else. You know quite a few of them conceal it and are named Washton.
* * * *
I am going to flat out list some of the clans that cannot stan' their names.
1 Smiff
2 Tommy
3 Jefferson
4 Adams
5 Lincoln
6 Wilson
7 Baker
8 Hansen
9 Washton
10 Gainer
11 Freeman
12 Carter
13 Crowell
14 Pierson
Shame on those clans!!!
The Piersons were originally hiding from Peterson anyway as Petersens. Now they are hiding from Pierson, some of them under Pearsons. This clan knows no shame.
Comment