NBA Playoffs + Boxing =

[Yogi]

Basketball sucks rat ****...but so does Butterfly's idiotic logic & bias in breaking down fantasy fights, so I guess that kinda cancels itself out.

[Kid Achilles]

Why aren't Ernie Terrell and Tunney Hunsaker included? Surely they are more deserving than Jeffries and Marciano.

[blockhead]

Basketball sucks rat ****...but so does Butterfly's idiotic logic & bias in breaking down fantasy fights, so I guess that kinda cancels itself out.

well said yogi, i couldnt agree more on both points.

[butterfly1964]

look, if ya'll want to flame me, take it to the thunderdome. this is to analyze matchups, not to soil other people's names.

[RockyMarcianofan00]

Why aren't Ernie Terrell and Tunney Hunsaker included? Surely they are more deserving than Jeffries and Marciano.

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[butterfly1964]

[/B]
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what does that mean?

[butterfly1964]

also i should note that each fight is 15 rounds, the gloves are ten ounces, the rings are all 21 x 21, the referee for all fights is mark conn, the two judges are Artie Aidala and Tony Castellano, and the announcer is michael buffer.

[butterfly1964]

Welcome to butterfly1964 productions! We have a quadruple-header on it's way, of the first round of this best of 7 boxing playoff between the top 8 western fighters of all-time and the top 8 easters fighters of all time. here are the matchups for this evening.

west

1. Muhammad Ali vs. 8. James Jeffries - fight #1

2. Jack Dempsey vs. 7. Max Baer - fight #1

east

1. Joe Louis vs. 8. Ezzard Charles - fight #1

2. Rocky Marciano vs. 7. Evander Holyfield - fight #1

I hope you enjoy them! And now, lets send the cameras over to Houston TX.

[butterfly1964]

vs.

Hi, and welcome to the Houston Astrodome in Houston, TX, where the first fight of this playoff will take place. There are over 100,000 screaming fans in the dome, and they're here for only one reason: to see Muhammad Ali! Earlier, Muhammad was interviewed by one of our reporters, and of course Ali was being Ali trash-taking about what he will do to Jeffries.

Muhammad Ali: "I'm not concentrating on Jim Jeffries. This fella's nothin' but a bum! Joe Louis is the man I want!"

Reporter: "But Louis is in the east."

Ali: "I know. But there's nobody here in the west who can beat me, so i'ma whup everyone and get to the finals, and i'll have my eye on Slow Louis."

Rep: "Ha ha! Slow Louis?"

Ali: "Yeah, that's right."

Rep: "So your looking right past Jeffries, huh?"

Ali: "Uh huh. I'm not thinking about Jim Jeffries. This bum will fall in four, and I might cut it to three!"

Rep: "But this fella Jeffries migh upset you, though."

Ali: "If he upset's me I'll retire!!"

That will give you an idea of Muhammad's take on it, hehe. At the press conference, Ali had a chance to voice him views directly to Jeffries.

Ali: "I'ma whup you worse than Jack Johnson did you fool! How dare you challenge me! I am thee greatest! You will regret this! After I whup you, i'ma eat a big steak to celebrate!

(Laughter from the audience)

Jeffries: "The only thing you will taste is my right hand before I will knock you out cold!"

Ali: "i'm gonna come out of the ring jabbin',
and then jeffries will start grabbin',
and then i'll push him off and jab some more,
and then unleash a fury and knock the boilermaker out in four!"

(Hysterical laughter from the crowd)

Well the stage is set. Both Ali and Jeffries are in excellent condition. Ali weighed in at an in-shape 212lb. Jeffries came in at a lean 220lb. Here is the tale of the tape.

Muhamamd Ali

age: 25
height: 6'-3"
weight: 212
reach: 80"
record: 29-0-0 (23ko)

Jim Jeffries

age: 29
height: 6'-2"
weight: 220
reach: 76 1/2"
record 18-0-2 (14ko)

Well, there you have it folks! Jeffires is now making his way through the ring and the crowd is booing him loudly. This is probably because of the widely know fact that jeffries is a racist.

Crowd:"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

jim is wearing a light blue robe. Jeffies is now in the ring and warming up by swinging his arms. And now Muhammad is coming out now, and the crowd goes wild. Ali is fighting on his own terf, so he has the home court advantage. Remember that the fighter with the higher seed gets to fight at home in the first two fights, and then the fighter with the lower seed gets to fight at home in fights three, four and five. finally the last two fights (6 and 7) is at the home of the fighter with the higher seed, so if you count it up, the higher seeded fighter is at home four times, while the lower seed is at home three times. If any fighter wins four games then the series is automatically over, regardless if seven fights are fought or not.

Ali is not bouncing into the ring as he usually does, but he is charging and pumping his fists in the air to chants of "Ali! Ali! Ali! Ali!" like he did when he fought george foreman in Zaire.

now ali is in the ring, and he looks over to jeffries corner and makes a funny face at him, then he turns his head away quickly. Ali has his trainer angelo dundee and drew "bodini" brown in the ring with him, and jeffries has B. Delaney and Tommy Ryan with him. Ali is now bouncing in the ring as he usually does. Jeffries is on his toes a bit as well. Here is the ring announcer Michael Buffer!

michael buffer: "Ladies and gentleman, welcome to this aaaaaaall-tiiiiime boxing playoff in Houston, TX! In the blue corner, from San Francisco, CA! He's wearing light blue trunks. He stands 6"-2, he weighs two-two-ooooh, the Boilermaker, James J. Jeeeeffriiiies!(the crowd boos loudly) and in the red corner(loud cheers) from Houston, TX. He's wearing white trunks with the red trim. he stands 6'-3, he weighs two-twelve, the louisville lip, the dancing master, the greeeateast, Muhammaaaaaad Aaaaaliiiiiiiii!(Hysterical cheering and screaming from the crowd) Fifteen rounds!"

Now we are all set. lets listen to referee mark conn.

conn:"protect yourself at all times. i want to to break when i tell you to break, in event of a knockdown, i want you to go to the farthest neutral corner until i tell you to come out. three knockdown in any round, and the fight is automatically stopped. if knocked down, a fighter will be saved by the bell if the round ends before i finish the 10-count, any questions ali? and questions jeffries? ok, shake hands and come out fighting. good luck to both of you!"

15 rounds. ali was talking to jim during instructions. jeffries just looked at the canvas. ali is praying now, and now he turns around and is bouncing. jeffries just stands there. muhammad is a 4 to 1 favorite. ali said, "i'll beat him in 4." we'll see.

Round 1: The bell rings, and both fighters come out. ali is dancing, and looking for a spot. jeffries just follows him around. ali after 15 sec. hits him with a quick left jab. jefries lunges with a left lead, and misses as ali pulls from the punch. ali is hitting jeffries with more jabs, but jeffries is not bothered. jeffries is now throwin big boms and is missing. ali throws a one-two combination. ali is still on the run, knowing that jeffries has ko power in both hands. ali is still getting some offense in, and jaffries is just dazzled! jm doesn't know what to do as ali hits him at will. the bell rings: delaney, jim's trainer is telling him to keep trying to corner him and to not throw wild shots. dundee is telling ali to keep doing what hge's doing and to keep moving and watch out for jeffries right hand. both fighters up off the stool now.

Round 2: Ali keeps moving and putting lightning punches together. jeffries throws the left hook but misses. as ali throws a right hook, jim counters with a left jab and grazes ali's jaw. ali is not bothered, but he presses on. ali now is holding his hands lower and the tenseness has gone out of him. he is still moving, but not as much. jeffries keeps throwing big shots but misses most of them; ali gets hit with a lefthook and an overhand right, but he takes them well. ali keeps throwing jabs and now jim's right eye is puffed up. ali's jabs are getting to that eye. for the last ten seconds ali dances without throwing a punch: jim's cornerman is applying ice to that eye. dundee is telling ali to keep his hands up. ali is up 20sec. before the warning bell sounds. jim however needs all the rest he can get from chasing ali around the ring and throwing big punches.

Round 3: ali is now flatfooted and can get more power this way. he predicted a fourth round ko, and he is trying to make it stick. he now is throwing short left and right hooks as well as his constant left jab. one-two's and the occasional uppercut is used by muhammad as well. jeffries has never experienced this before not even from jack johnson! jeffires hits ali a few times that stuns him a little, and the crowd is at their feet! but ali shakes it off and keeps going. jeffries eye is now cut and some drops of blood comes out. the round ends: ali is now confident that he will win. he knows it. jeffries is now tired.

Round 4: ali charges out and is throwing punches. he is using the ali-shuffle. the crowd is amused. ali keeps throwing punches and making jeffries miss. ali throws about 60 punches in the last 15sec. and connects with 53 of them. however, jeffries chin saves him from being knocked out. the prediction fails!: jeffries eye is noew pouring blood, and delaney is working furiously to keep that eye under control. ali however, is a different kettle of fish. he is ready for action, posed, calm, and perhaps ready for the kill!

Round 5: ali comes out and tries to end it. jeffries has no answer to ali's lightning speed. jim's eye looks terrible. and about a minute into the round, ali staggers him with a vicious one-two! referee mark conn steps in and stops the fight. ali wins via 5th round tko.

michael buffer: the winner at 1:05 if the fifth round, muhammad aliiiiii!

what a way to kick off the playoffs!

ali: "didn't i tell you. he ain't nothin. i'll win in four straight fights!"

Jeffries: "he is amazing. there was no way i would hit him. he's too good."

this is buttefly1964 saying goodbye from houston, texas. we'll now send the cameras over to denver, colorado!

[Yogi]

I need to poop.