“Fighting Words” - Dropping the (Crystal) Ball on 2015

by David P. Greisman

“Back to the Future Part II” came out in 1989 and looked 26 years into the future, showing the year 2015 and technology that included flying cars.

It is now 2015. There are no flying cars.

If that brings you down, then it’s time for you to look up. Not literally, as you still won’t see any automobiles overhead.

Rather, look up figuratively because I’m better than screenwriters Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale when it comes to predicting the future — at least in the world of boxing. Forget Michael J. Fox. My predictions are locks. My crystal ball tells all. It’s shown me the events to come during the 12 months of 2015. Consider yourselves forewarned:

Shannon Briggs has a quiet day.

Teddy Atlas, fresh off a year in which he sang Harry Nilsson’s “Coconut,” begins the new season of ESPN2’s “Friday Night Fights” with a riveting performance of Harry Belafonte’s “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song).”

As part of the continuing negotiations regarding the biggest fight in the sport of boxing, Floyd Mayweather Jr. demands that Manny Pacquiao’s mother also undergo random drug testing.

105-pound contender Knockout CP Freshmart wins on the scorecards, moves to 10-0 with 5 KOs. This becomes significant later in the year.

Guillermo Rigondeaux actually smiles.

Andre Ward briefly resurfaces on Groundhog Dog, only to see his own shadow and go back underground for another six months of inactivity.

Inspired by Kenny Bayless’s performance as the referee in Floyd Mayweather-Marcos Maidana 2, television network AMC hires Bayless for a show called “Breaking Good.”

Negotiations for Mayweather-Pacquiao again fall apart. The sun rises in the east. The sun sets in the west. The sky is blue. Bears go in the woods. The Pope is Catholic.

Miguel Cotto refuses to sign to face Canelo Alvarez and instead opts for a Mayweather rematch. Cotto finally ceases referring to himself in the third person. Unfortunately, he begins to answer all questions in the second person.

The WBC, not content with its silver championships, diamond championships, champions-in-recess, champions emeritus, and its various regional and youth belts, figures out a way to make even more money while spending even less of it — charging a sanctioning fee for its new Invisible Championship.

Edner Cherry moves up to 140 to challenge the division champion. Ben & Jerry’s signs on as a major sponsor and convinces the champion to have his name listed second on the marquee, which reads: “Cherry-Garcia.”

Danny Garcia wins. Junior welterweight remains one of boxing’s most interesting divisions, but sadly with no Cherry on top.

Abner Mares gets another appearance on Showtime, his third since getting stopped by Jhonny Gonzalez in one round back in 2013. Gonzalez, meanwhile, is yet to return to the network.

Brock Lesnar surprises many in the pro wrestling industry by retaining the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 31 and announcing that he’s signed another contract with the company.

Boxing’s most powerful adviser enters another ring sport. Brock Lesnar officially goes from being a Paul Heyman guy to being an Al Haymon guy. Lesnar subsequently finds a way to perform even less than he did in the previous year.

Manny Pacquiao takes on Ruslan Provodnikov, but the chief supporting undercard bout of Mama Pacquiao vs. Mama Provodnikov steals the show.

Fresh off a win in which he weighed 179.2 pounds, Mickey Rourke moves up for the next logical challenge: Australian cruiserweight Brad Pitt. While the promoter for Mickey Rourke’s next bout seeks to build publicity, Pitt refuses to pitch in, insisting that there are two rules preventing him from talking about fighting. With a lack of stringent drug testing and amid suspicions regarding another set of bribes, Rourke scores a fifth-round technical knockout over Pitt.

With a 62-year-old former pro boxer turned actor suddenly making waves in the ring, a 64-year-old Brooklynite born as Antonio Iadanza announces his comeback 36 years after retiring at 9-3 with 9 knonockout and calls out Rourke in a press release written by Fred Sternburg, the ace boxing publicist with a legacy of puns. The headline? “Tony Danza Taunts Rourke: I’m The Boss!”

Sergey Kovalev’s team has nearly run out of ideas for ways to get at or get back at Adonis Stevenson. But after stealing away Bernard Hopkins and Jean Pascal as opponents, and after getting positioned as Stevenson’s mandatory challenger and getting a much better purse split because of it, Kovalev finally stumbles upon the one tactic that’ll make Adonis fight him — a “Yo’ mama” joke.

Floyd Mayweather tops Miguel Cotto to win the middleweight championship. In related news, Amir Khan still didn’t get to fight Floyd Mayweather.

Negotiations begin once more for Mayweather-Pacquiao.

Having run out of things to say regarding missing jetliners, CNN transitions smoothly into nonstop coverage of the disappearance of Andre Ward.

Knockout CP Freshmart wins on the scorecards, moves to 11-0 with 5 KOs and changes his name to Unanimous Decision CP Freshmart.

In his continuing quest to compare contemporary boxing figures to historical ones, HBO analyst Max Kellerman refers to himself on-air as a modern-day Larry Merchant. Hearing that, Merchant subsequently leaves his house, finds the gravesite he purchased, spends hours digging, jumps in, lies down and rolls over.

Naseem Hamed gives his Hall of Fame speech, only to have it interrupted by Marco Antonio Barrera putting him into a full nelson and driving his head into the podium.

Bernard Hopkins wins his farewell fight. Dreadlocked ring announcer Dave Diamante finally gets the opportunity to work a Hopkins match. For one night only, “The Alien” and “The Predator” share the same ring.

Seven-foot Chinese heavyweight prospect Taishan Dong faces divisional measuring stick opponent Darnell “Ding-A-Ling Man” Wilson, pitting a lengthy Dong against a shorter, rounder yet powerful Ding-A-Ling. Immature people everywhere cackle.

Negotiations for Mayweather-Pacquiao fall apart for the final time. But peace finally comes to the Middle East. Boxing fans remain unhappy.

Amir Khan finally gets a chance to fight Floyd Mayweather in Mayweather’s last bout.

Don King and Teddy Atlas attend the same event. No one else gets to say a single word for the entire night.

Edward Snowden reveals that while the CIA knows nearly everything about nearly every single American, it still has next to nothing on Al Haymon.

On a Saturday broadcast coinciding with the annual July 4 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating competition, rotund heavyweights Chris Arreola and Andy Ruiz face off in a battle that takes after the rules of chess boxing — with each round of fighting followed up by a pie-eating contest.

Khan suffers an injury in training camp and has to pull out of the Mayweather fight.

Boxing broadcaster Col. Bob Sheridan finally gets moved up in rank, becomes Brigadier Bob.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. has his image exhibited in the National Portrait Gallery. Mayweather shows up and leads the crowd through a call and response: “ARTWORK! DEDICATION!”

Light heavyweight Doudou Ngumbu and junior lightweight Terdsak Kokietgym share the same card. Immature people everywhere chortle.

Fittingly given his last name, Sam Soliman is involved in a split decision.

Casting begins for a live-action version of classic video game “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out.” Andy Ruiz lands the part of King Hippo.

Mayweather faces replacement opponent Keith Thurman, whose final landed punch statistics end up matching his nickname.

Andre Ward and Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. sign to not fight each other, with the winner going on not to fight for even longer.

Tim Bradley finally wins a fight that doesn’t involve a controversial scorecard or him suffering an injury.

Erislandy Lara shatters a world record by completing a marathon while participating in a 12-round fight.

J.K. Rowling releases an eighth Harry Potter book in which Lord Voldemort is revealed to go by another name: Al Haymon.

Snoop Lion joins Jay-Z and 50 Cent as rappers turned boxing promoters. Snoop immediately falls in love with the lack of mandatory drug testing.

The sanctioning bodies start a new division for out-of-shape heavyweights: “Super Jiggleweight.”

Showtime’s post-fight interviewer writes a trilogy of autobiographical erotic novels, titling them “50 Shades of Jim Gray.”

Floyd Mayweather finally realizes the error of his ways, stops paying for everything in cash so that he can accumulate credit card points.

Chuck Giampa at last remembers what he was going to say.

In a Christmas miracle, every single athletic commission, sanctioning body and promoter announces that they will require all fighters to undergo year-round stringent drug testing. Half the sport’s fighters announce their retirement. The other half announces that they will be moving down two divisions.

Mauricio Herrera finishes another year without a Danny Garcia rematch.

Al Haymon signs Tor Hamer. The world officially ends.

1.  In case you missed any of BoxingScene’s year-end awards, here’s the stellar coverage from Jake Donovan and Cliff Rold:

Comeback of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-comeback-year--85767

Event of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-event-year--85853

Fight of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-fight-year--85956

Fighter of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-fighter-year--85849

Knockout of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-knockout-year--85875

Prospect of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-prospect-year--85816

Robbery of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-robbery-year--85903

Round of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-round-year--85929

Upset of the Year:

https://www.boxingscene.com/boxingscenecoms-2014-upset-year--85957

2.  Naoya Inoue being named BoxingScene’s Fighter of the Year demonstrates why sometimes you need to wait all the way until the year is actually, oh, over before naming your award winner.

Inoue was four days from his 21st birthday when he began his campaign in April with a sixth-round stoppage of 108-pound titleholder Adrian Hernandez, defended the belt in September with an 11th-round technical knockout of Samartlek Kokietgym, and then jumped up two divisions to take out longtime 115-pound titleholder Omar Narvaez, the No. 1 guy at that weight class.

Inoue didn’t just defeat Narvaez; he destroyed him, scoring four knockdowns in two rounds.

Read Jake’s piece (linked above) for more on why Inoue is most deserving. Now we wait to see where this prodigy goes next, and we salivate at the possibility of flyweights (and two of the best fighters in the sport) Roman Gonzalez and Juan Francisco Estrada being part of the picture, or even power-punching 115-pound titleholder Carlos Cuadras.

3.  While Omar Narvaez was the No. 1 guy at 115, and while Inoue is the real deal, I can’t help but see a parallel between what Inoue did to Narvaez in 2014 and what Simpiwe Vetyeka did to featherweight titleholder Chris John in 2013.

For the past two years I’ve been part of Ring Magazine’s annual RING 100 rankings. In our 2014 rankings, which were put together prior to John vs. Vetyeka, I made sure to include my concerns about John’s record:

“The testament to John’s longevity is that in the 9 and a half years he has held a world title, nearly 30 other men have captured belts at featherweight, none of them holding their titles for anywhere near as long as John has. He has successfully defended his title 18 times, with 15 wins and three draws (two of those draws ending early after heads clashed. He has not lost once in his 51 fights, and his résumé includes a victory over Juan Manuel Marquez,” I wrote. “The trouble with John’s longevity is that he has not faced a single one of those other titleholders, nor has he faced a single top opponent in recent years. Also, the Marquez win is considered by nearly all to have been a robbery.”

I felt similarly about Narvaez in the 2015 rankings, which were put together prior to Narvaez-Inoue:

“Narvaez is 28-1-1 in world title fights in two divisions, a record that brings the 39-year-old about one year’s work away from matching the mark of 31 wins set by Julio Cesar Chavez Sr. However, some contend that Narvaez has not faced the best possible opposition during his long runs at 112 and 115.”

To me, longevity can be manufactured. If a fighter’s development can be controlled with careful matchmaking, so can a titleholder’s reign. Just because a fighter is good enough to top lower-level opposition doesn’t make that fighter anything better than “good enough.”

4.  When Adonis Stevenson fought Tony Bellew in November 2013, their bout pulled in an average audience of 1.305 million viewers.

When Stevenson fought Andrzej Fonfara this past May, their bout pulled in an average of 672,000 viewers.

When Stevenson fought Dmitry Sukhotsky this past December, their bout pulled in an average of 323,000 viewers.

There can of course be potential contributing factors, including scheduling and marketing. And he’s always going to be more of an attraction in his adopted home of Canada.

But it’s still not flattering for the light heavyweight champion to have his American viewing audience drop by 48.5 percent from November 2013 to May 2014 and then drop 52 percent from May 2014 to December 2014. That December rating is less than half what he pulled in for Fonfara in May and just about 25 percent of the number that watched him in November 2013. More people watched Stevenson-Bellew than combined together to watch Stevenson-Fonfara and Stevenson-Sukhotsky.

5.  Adonis Stevenson's 2014 headline: "Pimps up, ratings down."

6.  Boxers Behaving Goodly, lightning edition:

- Junior welterweight contender Thomas Dulorme recently held a charity event in a poor neighborhood San Juan, Puerto Rico, helping an organization that assists the homeless, people with mental disorders or HIV, and others.

- Amir Khan has donated money toward the rebuilding of an Army school bombed in Pakistan last month and has also announced that he’ll open a boxing academy in the city of Lahore.

- Retired fighter Paulie Ayala continues to work for and with people with Parkinson’s disease, and he trains those with the disease for free. “You feel sharper mentally,” one patient told Texas television station WDFW. “You just seem more fluid with, not just with your muscles, but just more fluid thinking. It’s not as cloudy.”

7.  Boxers Behaving Badly, lightning edition:

- Middleweight titleholder Jermain Taylor was accused of throwing a brick that struck a woman, according to TMZ. Online court records don’t yet list any charges. Taylor is awaiting trial in a case in which he allegedly shot and injured his cousin.

- Glenn McCrory — a retired cruiserweight who held a world 25 years ago and has worked as a Sky Sports boxing commentator in the United Kingdom for 25 years — is facing accusations that he assaulted a man and stiffed a taxi driver out of £7, according to the Evening Chronicle.

- Joel Garcia — a fighter from El Paso, Texas — was allegedly driving drunk when his vehicle ran a red light crashed into another car, a collision that killed three people, according to television station KVIA. He is facing three counts of intoxicated manslaughter, the report said. Garcia, had been accused of driving drunk in April 2014 and was slated to have a plea hearing this coming February, according to the report and online court records.

- Also accused of driving drunk and resisting arrest was junior-middleweight power-puncher Jorge Melendez. He has a court date scheduled for later this week in Puerto Rico.

- Former junior-welterweight title challenger Demetrius Hopkins has been sentenced to 23 months in jail after pleading guilty to felony aggravated assault of a police officer, according to Pennsylvania’s The Phoenix Reporter and Item. He was credited with the 10-and-a-half months already spent behind bars since his arrest in January.

- And a fighter found not to have been behaving badly was Jon Slowey, a Scottish boxer who has largely fought around the featherweight and junior lightweight divisions. He was found not guilty of assaulting a woman with whom he was in a relationship, according to Glasgow’s Evening Times. Slowey’s attorney argued that there was not enough evidence, and the court agreed.

8.  2014 will go down as the year Shannon Briggs threw a shoe at the heavyweight champ and Jermain Taylor threw a brick at a woman.

9.  Last month at the World Boxing Council’s convention, the sanctioning body revealed that one of its title belts spent several months up in the International Space Station.

Apparently that’s because in space, no one can hear you scream… about all the sanctioning body idiocy, hypocrisy and corruption.

“The WBC belt went to space and reached an unheard-of, unprecedented 433 kilometers high. That's 270 miles altitude,” said a representative of Guinness World Records.

No word on whether the WBC also holds the record for how low sanctioning bodies can go…

Meanwhile, I half expect the WBC to start charging 3 percent fees for a boxer to hold its new Weightless Championship.

It could be worse. Up next could be the WBC’s new Asteroid Belt…

10.  Starting this Tuesday (Jan. 6) will be a new boxing talk show with one of the three co-hosts being your favorite and mine, ESPN commentator Teddy Atlas.

Surely you can’t be, SiriusXM.

I feel for Teddy’s co-hosts — Nabaté Isles and longtime boxing scribe Tim Smith — who will quickly learn that they are there for show while Teddy is there for talk.

On the bright side, at least the producers won’t have to worry about having any of that dreaded “dead air.”

“Fighting Words” appears every Monday on BoxingScene.com. Pick up a copy of David’s book, “Fighting Words: The Heart and Heartbreak of Boxing,” at

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