Frank Warren set to announce "Greatest Card That Will Never Happen"

Written by Hitman932 Pugilist Prize winning author 5/13/2013 On the heels of news that Deontay Wilder was arrested and his fight with Derek Chisora was on the rocks Chisora's promoter Frank Warren not only reaffirmed that the fight will happen but also promised to double down, triple down, possibly even quadruple down with what he is calling "The Greatest Card That Will Never Happen". Warren stated "I have a mental agreement with Deontay Wilder and he will honor it. We locked brain waves for a second and he stated with his mind he would take the fight, so it's a done deal regardless of what this Schaeffer guy says." Warren went on- "not only will I, Frank Warren, champion of champions, bring this great fight to Wembley Arena on 6/15 but I want to also take this time to announce two more Heavyweight fights." "First we will have Megatron fighting Optimus Prime in a 12 round contest for the Vacant BBC 10 Kiloton Title after that we will also have Tommy Morrison facing Ruslan Chagaev for the WBC Communicable Diseases Trans-European Silver Belt" Warren was particularly proud of getting the Chagaev-Morrison past the medical board. "We will have a 6 foot tall splashguard erected around the ring to protect anyone outside of the ring from AIDS and Hepatitis. Who else would think of something like that other than a legendary genius like myself?" Warren went on to point out that nobody has even seen a contract, much less signed one for any of these fights, but that he remained undeterred. He also reaffirmed his desire to promote the Floyd Mayweather - Manny Pacquiao fight in spite of Pacquiao's loss and informed me that he had offered each man's promotional team 100 bajillion dollars to buy out the services of their fighter. "Look at how f*cking awesome these posters are Hitman!. F*cking Optimus Prime and Derek Chisora together! Don't let details get in the way of a story"