Attention All OLD and INACTIVE Fighters!

Are you aged 37-45, slow, inactive for at least 1-3 years or a bantamweight?! Well listen up, Floyd "Money" Mayweather Jr. is looking for you! Auditions are now being held at Mayweather Promotions studios west of the Hotel Floyd is "Vacationing". The lucky applicant must be a dumb ass, must agree that Floyd will break the agreed weight if he is not comfortable, must agree, 80-20 split, and must gas out at 2nd round (earlier than that and you'll get a bonus). A successful candidate must be willing to gain, gain, gain weight! Trainer must be a licensed FATtician. A Sumo Wrestler will be on standby to ensure quality control! Please apply by January 1, 2011. The first 10 applicants will receive a free limited edition autographed book entitled "The Art of Ducking" by Floyd Mayweather Jr and also get a chance to be one of the first ones to read Floyd Mayweather Sr's upcoming book "I now know FEAR". Please include a $3.99 application fee. PS: If your name end with Cotto, Margarito, Pacquiao, and Martinez you are automatically disqualified up to the 20th degree.