In the rooms of recovery Ryan Garcia and Conor Benn quickly found common ground. Each time one of them listened to the other share with the group, they would hear in their testimony something relatable and see in their eyes the same pain they carried in their own. They finally felt seen and heard and connected. They felt believed.
Before long, the two welterweights had made a habit of nodding at each other when sitting down, then convening at the end of the meeting to discuss all they had been too afraid to discuss around others. There might, for instance, be a tentative mention of the steps and any progress made on that front. There might also be talk of sponsors, with one or both edging nearer, week by week, to popping the question: “Would you be mine?”
For a while they just flirted, circled one another. It was safer that way, given their proclivities, and both were acutely aware of the dangers of getting too close, saying too much. Until they were better, or back to their old selves, it was vital that they stayed focused and retained a sober clarity. Being clear-headed was important, they were told. Being cleared even more so.
The steps served as a constant reminder of this. There were 12 of them in total and all 12 were written on laminated cards which were distributed around the room prior to the meeting. Members, seated in either rows or a circle, would then take it in turn to read the steps and in the process remind themselves that they were powerless, that they believed in a power greater than themselves, and that they had made a decision to turn their will and their lives over to the care of God as they understood Him.
Garcia and Benn, two newcomers, couldn’t help but admire those in the room who fully embraced the steps. Some of them had even taken action, they learned. This meant that they had made a searching and fearless moral inventory of themselves and admitted to God, themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of their wrongs, in accordance with step five.
That, sadly, was something neither Garcia nor Benn could imagine doing so early in their recovery. It was, as far as they were concerned, too soon, too raw, too difficult. The same also applied to the idea of humbly asking God to remove their shortcomings and defects of character and then, per step eight, drawing up a list of the persons they had harmed and making amends to them all, perhaps even directly.
The elders in the room knew better than to hurry them, or expect too much. Besides, by virtue of their attendance, Garcia and Benn had already made progress and shown a desire to change. There was every reason to believe that one day, when ready, they would bravely get to their feet and speak up in front of the others. They would say, with a racing heart and tears in their eyes, “My name is [insert name] and I tested positive for [insert performance-enhancing drug].”
Until then, the moment of acceptance, Garcia and Benn remained in a blissful state of denial. They were, as many are, content to listen and learn and hear in the voices of others the conviction and honesty they lacked in their own. They then marvelled at how the others made it appear so easy.
For Garcia and Benn, fists clenched, it was a lot simpler just to fight. That’s why, once cleared to do so, both immediately switched the meeting room for the ring, where they rediscovered a sense of comfort and control.
If in the room they had felt at all judged, guilty, or shameful, there were no such emotions on fight night, with gloves on their hands and an opponent’s face the target. It was, to them, just another mode of expression, punching people. It was no different than what the others were doing in the rooms, only easier and less risky. Better yet, by the time Garcia and Benn returned to the ring to express themselves, they were greeted not with silence, as in the rooms, but a wall of sound – applause, cheers, roars – which mitigated the threat of them being left alone with their own thoughts. All they had to do to capture this serenity was beat up the opponent in front of them. Do that enough times and they would soon be returned to their old selves. They would be reminded less and less of their past transgressions and their defects of character, rather than removed, would be used as selling points. A win-win, you might say.
Above all, the best thing about trading the rooms for a ring was that Garcia and Benn stepped outside the constraints of the 12-step programme. Now, as well as not having to bother with moral inventories and making amends, the pair were no longer holding themselves accountable for their actions or raking up the past. They could even now act on their mutual attraction and explore the taboo of the 13th step.
This step, an unofficial one, recommends that anyone in their first year of recovery avoid starting a new romantic relationship, particularly with a member of the group. Yet Garcia and Benn, having broken away from the programme, were suddenly free to do as they pleased. Hence, with the ring their safe space, they picked a date to build on their initial spark and reconnect: September 12.
That is the plan according to Garcia, who shared the good news on Monday during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. All being well, he and Benn will now share a ring in Las Vegas – where else? – and at stake will be Garcia’s WBC welterweight title, which he won less than two years after testing positive for ostarine in 2024. “He’s talking crazy,” Garcia said of Benn, who tested positive for clomiphene in 2022. “He actually confronted me at an awards show two years ago. My wife was there and he just pressed up on me, grabbed me, so it’s a little personal.”
Some would argue that they deserve each other, Garcia and Benn. They would point to all that they have in common and suggest that now pairing them off is the best way to ensure that we see the back of at least one of them. They would talk about level playing fields, then sound like your mum when saying, “They’re both as bad as each other.” They would call it a natural – the fight, that is. They would argue that it’s a perfect match; a pairing of twin flames.
Then of course you have the traditionalists, who value the tenets of the 13th step and disapprove of trauma bonds. Those kinds of people would see Garcia vs. Benn as less a happy union than a toxic commingling, good only for brushing their defects of character under the rug and hiding in each other’s arms. They would propose that the only thing worse than one person trying to outrun their past is seeing two of them do it together, their legs tied, neither knowing which way to go or how to move on.
The fact that their redemption will now happen in a ring, and not a room, is maybe the greatest indication yet that boxing is an enabler and that in its loving arms even those who have erred can still prosper. It doesn’t require rehabilitation, making amends, or accepting any sort of responsibility. It doesn’t require you to stand up and introduce yourself and acknowledge the extent of your problems.
Instead, to complete boxing’s 12-step recovery programme, all a fighter must do is master the basics: jab, cross, uppercut, hook. Focus only on that and proclaiming your innocence and you will soon get your chips, and your serenity, and your applause. You will in time then start to believe that when those in the room speak of a Higher Power, they speak only of you, the omniscient, a god greater than a sport.
