Broke up with my girl (two days after we got back from holiday)

[joe strong]

Things had not been great between me and my girl leading up to our holiday. We weren't seeing each other much as she works full time, and I'm busy with exams. However, I thought going away together would give us a chance to patch things up, and make things good again, like they were when we first starting dating.

I knew the holiday wasn't going to go well as soon as I arrived at the airport. She wasn't very talkative and seemed closed off. Therefore I felt slighted, and closed her off in retaliation. As expected, things were tense between us throughout the holiday, and we both picked and digged at each other constantly. There was still sex, moments of tenderness (cuddles, glances, and stolen kisses) but overall it wasn't a fun trip. I ignored her for 90% of it, and I knew this would have hurt her.

One night I decided to ask her why she was so closed off and she replied that I was the one being closed off while she was just tired and stressed from her busy work schedule. She said that I make her feel used because as soon as she visits my house I'm tearing her clothes off before I've even said hello, we don't have any fun any more, and I make her feel stupid. I obviously denied all these things, even though they are partly true, and became even more of an arsehole. She then said that our relationship wasn't working and she wants to be selfish with her time to do what she wants.

I was still upset when I woke up in the morning, so I decided I would take it out on her. I basically demanded her to give me a blowj*b. I knew this would upset her and make her feel worthless, but I wasn't thinking straight, and was upset. It was a huge mistake looking back and I feel ashamed having asked her like that. I didn't even want one, I just wanted to see the same hurt in her eyes that I had.

Anyway, once we parted at the airport I knew I had messed up and sent her an e-mail to apologise (her phone was broken) and to say how I was going to change, and how things are going to be like they used to be. She replied and said that she's confused and wants some time to herself. On top of this, she said that she has been in relationships for the past 8 years (she is 24) and just wants to find herself and have fun.

This was on Thursday. We've txted a few times since and she's agreed to meet for for drinks and to talk on Wednesday, but I'm unsure of how to approach the situation? Do I ask her for another chance, or just talk, not put her under any pressure, and let her make up her own mind?

When things are good, we're great together. We have so much fun, and love being around each other. But the last time she said she loved me was two weeks ago, and our relationship has been struggling long before that. I admit that sometimes I'm very difficult to deal with. I push people away, my mood is temperamental, and I'm a little insecure. I know these things don't do me any favours. Still, I know I can grow from them if given the opportunity.

Any advice peeps?

give her space...8 years in relationships is a long time. from 16-24 she was involved in a relationship. she wants to explore & she is working fulltime & you go to school. you lead 2 different lives now. she never has had that bachlorette fun as an adult because someone was always in the picture. if you are insecure & the jealous type then that definately will cause issues. it sounds like you don't trust her completely & all you want to do is screw when she is with you. you sound selfish & needy. she is entering her mid 20's & her eyes are opening & it sounds like a relationship that only fits your needs. you are not looking after her needs. i would actually let her have time by herself & don't be calling, texting or emailing her every day either this only makes it worse. it sounds like you see that this could be the end & you are just hanging on. i think she has made up her mind. if she gives you another chance it won't last long. those drinks wednesday could be the nail in the coffin. it's not for sure but looks that way. in otherwards she wants to play the field & have a few other dicks in her then see what happens but are you willing to see her with other men? that is the question

[SkillspayBills]

You are doing some simp **** timbatron. Revenge is for superheros and doing something (the bj thing) just to hurt somone you claim you "love" isn't healthy. Things probably won't change. You are just going to prolong the inevitable. Unless you WHOLEHEARTEDLY make the commitmen to be a better man (you don't sound like you will) it won't work out in the long run. Change is the hardest part of a relationship, the problem occurs when someone is told they are "different" or have "changed" and you say you will....but don't. Let her decide but ONLY if you truly want to make it work.

[BetterCallSaul]

I am a bit selfish but I wouldn't say needy. I don't need to be with her 24/7 nor do I expect her to be. I'm not the jealous type either. I don't try to interfere with her life and I don't stop her from doing the things she needs to do. I am however, a little insecure and very self critical, so if people expose those insecurities I get quite defensive. I realise this.

I know my shortcomings and I'm willing to work hard at rectifying them if it means keeping her in my life. She just txted me saying she was sorry for being so insensitive about the breakup and wants to meet me tomorrow now instead for drinks and a chat.

I just hope it's not too late to fix. I'm not going to beg for her to give me another chance but I'm going to talk to her about why I've treated her so poorly, and tell her how I can change for the better.

[Frogs!]

it sure sounds like you need her but don't necessarily love her.

if i'm wrong and you say you love her then do her a favor and let her go.

she deserves better.

[Bossy]

I have noticed (growing up with pretty much all guys and of course dating them) that men never know what they want until the relationship is completely fuked up. When a girl loves you, you guys get freaked out and act up, then when a girl says she can't put up with it any further, ya'll wanna change your tune and be a 'good' man.

Making a girl feel like she is a walking blow job is probably the worst thing you can do for her self-esteem. I do hope things work out for you, but I also hope you aren't like the majority of men who 'change' until they have what they want and go right back to being a dick.

Good luck

[Canelo Phresh]

Move on. Youre 25ish right? Find new p@ssy and move on.

[Canelo Phresh]

I have noticed (growing up with pretty much all guys and of course dating them) that men never know what they want until the relationship is completely fuked up. When a girl loves you, you guys get freaked out and act up, then when a girl says she can't put up with it any further, ya'll wanna change your tune and be a 'good' man.

Making a girl feel like she is a walking blow job is probably the worst thing you can do for her self-esteem. I do hope things work out for you, but I also hope you aren't like the majority of men who 'change' until they have what they want and go right back to being a dick.

Good luck

Shut up and give me a *******!!!!

[Bossy]

Shut up and give me a *******!!!!

A kick to the ****?

[Canelo Phresh]

A kick to the ****?

You dont go full violent at the beginning. You work up to that level of pain.

[Frogs!]

I have noticed (growing up with pretty much all guys and of course dating them) that men never know what they want until the relationship is completely fuked up. When a girl loves you, you guys get freaked out and act up, then when a girl says she can't put up with it any further, ya'll wanna change your tune and be a 'good' man.

Making a girl feel like she is a walking blow job is probably the worst thing you can do for her self-esteem. I do hope things work out for you, but I also hope you aren't like the majority of men who 'change' until they have what they want and go right back to being a dick.

Good luck

i have a childhood friend who takes pride in knowing we call her the walking *******.

never met another woman quite like her.