Pinoy Lang

[kadyo's]

[kadyo's]

Okay, batsi muna ko makapanood muna ng mga happenings sa pinas.

[Dale Cardon]

magandang umaga/tanghali/hapon/gabi sa inyong lahat

[Dale Cardon]

Yard Work Sign Language


A couple is doing yard work and the wife goes to take a shower. Her husband is looking for a rake and can't find it. he yells up to his wife, but she motion to him from the window like she can't hear. So he points to his eye, hits his knee, and makes raking motions. ("I need the rake.") She replies by pointing to her eye, Grabbing her left breast, slaps her ass, then rubs her crotch. The man is confused and runs upstairs.


"What? What was that?"


'Eye, left tit, behind , the bush."

[Dale Cardon]

huwag kang mag alala Led


Si led nag punta sa china for business trip, pag dating nya sa airport naka kita siya ng magandang babae at niyaya niya ito sa hotel at dun ay may nang yari na maganda alam mo na yun(nag tirahan).

makalipas ang isang lingo sumakit ang kanyang titi at siya ay nag patigin sa american doctor, ang sabi ng doctor sa kanya malubha na ang sakit mo monggolian ang tawag sa sakit mo at wala pang gamot na mag papagaling diyan, the only thing is to cut your DICK, ang sagot niya sa doctor i will ask for second opinion.

Nag punta si LEd sa pinoy na doctor, pinakita niya ang kanyang ari, pero hindi nagulat ang pinoy na doctor ang sabi lang sa kanya yan ang sakit na monggolian at wala pang gamot dyan.

Sagot niya sa pinoy na doctor, Doc alam ko nayan yan din ang sabi sa aking ng American Doctor walang gamut kung hindi puputolin ang titi ko.

Biglang tumawa ang pinoy na doctor, sabi sa kanya, ganyan lahat ang American doctor puro putol opera para kumita lang sila ng malaking pera.
Tanong ng lalaki sa pinoy na doctor: so doc hindi na kailangan putolin ang titi ko?

Sagot ng pinoy na doctor: hindi ng kailangan putolin yan Led bigyan molang ng isang LINGO KUSANG NALANG BABAGSAK ANG TITI MO.


hehe

[Dale Cardon]

Magaling Mag-Drive


Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, siguradong magaling din siya mag-Drive!

Tatay: Bakit Pare, napapansin mo ba na mahilig siya sa kotse?

Friend: Hindi naman, medyo kamukha lang siya ng driver niyo!!

[Dale Cardon]

Sa Toilet

PARI: Iha, sa palagay mo nasaan ang Diyos sa umaga?

LIZA: Nasa toilet po..

PARI: Susmaryosep iha, saan mo ba napulot ang sagot na iyan.

LIZA: Kasi po pag umaga bago ako umalis, naririnig ko ang lola ko na sumisigaw " Diyos ko, kanina ka pa dyan sa toilet, ano ba?

[Dale Cardon]

Sala****in


Aanhin mo ang marangyang kama na yari sa narra, kung hindi ka naman masaya sa iyong kasama.

Mabuti pang mahiga sa damo, kung kasama mo'y magaling kumabayo....

[Dale Cardon]

Family feud


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."

"Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas
tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

[Dale Cardon]

Bilang Ganti


One day, Bobby saw a girl crying and about to jump off the bridge. Bumaba c Bobby from his car and tried to stop the girl from jumping.

He said: miss! wag mo gawin yan!! wag ka 2malon! d mo ba alam na kasalanan ang pagpapakamatay? ano ba problema mo? halika, pagusapan natin pwede ba?

Girl: (still crying) kc po, sawang sawa na ako sa pambababae ng asawa ko. huhuhu!

Bobby: hay naku, d solusyon ang pagpapakamatay jan! Gumanti ka!!! Gusto mo tulungan kta? Gawin din natin gnagawa nila?

Pumayag naman c girl and they had sex.
And both were exhausted and satisfied.
After a few minutes, umiyak ulit ung girl!

Girl: huhuhuhu!!!!
Bobby: o, bakit ka nanaman umiiyak?
Girl: d ko tlga makalimutan gnawa ng asawa ko!!! masakit tlga isipin e.
Bobby: gusto mo, gumanti ulit tayo?

Ganti ulit cla and they had sex again and again hoping the girl would get over the pain and feel nakaganti na talaga cya.

Girl: lam mo, masakit tlga, napakasakit, gusto ko tlga gumanti ng gumanti ng gumanti sa gnawa nila sa akin. GANTI ULIT TAYO!!!!

Bobby: (very exhausted and halos di na makagulapay : UTANG NA LOOB!!!!!!! PWEDE BA, PATAWARIN MO NA SILA!!!!!!!!!!!