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Rudy & Jenny, both divorced from their previous marriages, decides to tie the knot after being together for a while.
J: Rudy I've been waiting for you for all my life. My first three husbands all cheated on me, "It wasn't that way with them. I know I'm not a supermodel. I'm pretty but it's girl next door pretty. And I get the idea that you like that. You really want a partner and best friend that you can **** a lot. That's what I want too. I'm not one of those girls who are going to withhold their favors to get what they want. I definitely give up the pu$$y, but only to one person. My man. I'll stay with you forever Rudy. I'll grow old with you. And we're really not too old we're only in our mid thirties. I'll have your babies. Anything you want I'll do. Just promise me one thing. Don't ever cheat on me."
R: "How'd you go through the other husbands though,"
J: "Remember when you made the decision to get your revenge on Justine (Rudy's ex-wife) and her lovers?" "Well it's kind of the same for me. My first husband died from eating poison mushrooms. He had a really bad reaction and went into anaphylactic shock. He died horribly and painfully right in front of me."
J: "My second husband died from eating poison mushrooms too. It was a really weird coincidence. I should tell you that I make pepper steak too,"
R: "What about your last husband?
J: "You're not a cheater, "You and I will live together forever."
R: "Uhm I meant the guy who came before me,
J: "Oh, he died of a fractured skull,
R: "Wow, How did that happen?
J: That bastard wouldn't eat the mushrooms.
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Sa restaurant
LOLO: Pwe! WAITER!!!
Waiter: Yes Sir?
LOLO: Ano ba ‘tong steak na ‘to? Ang tigas tigas!
(Tinikman ng waiter ang steak)
Waiter: Malambot naman po at juicy pa.
LOLO: Paano ‘di lalambot ‘yan? 30 minutes ko ng nginunguya.
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Sa EDSA ay may isang Vendor ng Mani ang sumakay ng bus. Inaalok ang 1 babae:
VENDOR : Miss, bili n kyo ng Mani
BABAE : Ay ayoko, tina-tagyawat ako sa Mani eh….
VENDOR : Buti k p s “Mani” tinatagyawat, ako s “Mukha”!.
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bata:tao po! meron po ba kayong balonggam?
tendero:wala!
(pagkabukas)
bata:tao po! meron po ba kayong balonggam?
tendero:wala!
(pagkabukas ulit)
bata:tao po! meron po ba kayong balonggam?
tendero:sinabi ng wala!,pagbumalik ka pa bukas babarilin na kita!
(pagkabukas na nman)
bata:tao po! meron po ba kayong baril?
tendero:wala!
bata:heheheh! pero meron na kayong balonggam?
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