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              • ! incest !












                How does the Alabama mother know if her daughter is on her period?






                Her sons' dick tastes funny

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                • True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.



                  "The moral of this story is:"



                  "Always keep your condoms in your car."

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                  • BEFORE MARRIAGE:

                    Husband - Aaah! . . . At last! I can hardly wait!
                    Wife - Do you want me to leave?
                    Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
                    Wife - Do you love me?
                    Husband - Of course always have and always will!
                    Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
                    Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
                    Wife - Will you kiss me?
                    Husband - Every chance I get!
                    Wife - Will you hit me?
                    Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
                    Wife - Can I trust you?
                    Husband - Yes.
                    Wife - Darling!

                    AFTER MARRIAGE: Read from bottom to top.

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                    • ***(RING))))
                      **Pick Up**
                      (little girl) "Hello?"
                      "Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"
                      "No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul"
                      After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"
                      "Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"
                      Brief Pause
                      "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"
                      "Okay Daddy, just a minute"
                      A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
                      "I did it Daddy"
                      "And what happened honey?" he asked
                      "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
                      "Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul ?"
                      "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead"
                      ***Long Pause***
                      ***Longer Pause**
                      Then Daddy says, "What swimming pool??... Is this 486-5731??"

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