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Originally posted by !! Anorak
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So I've had three separate requests to tell the truth of what happened between me and Ronda Rousey.
To tell the truth, I really don't know. It's the first time I've had a specific request, but I'll try and break it down for you:
First of all, Ronda came at me, and I grabbed for her firm, succulent dick, and tried to suck on her lovely, juicy balls. However, when I got her pants down, I noticed she didn't have any. It was like.... she was a eunuch or summat. I honestly don't know how to describe it..... I was trying to have sex with someone with no genitals. It was bizarre.
When I took her top off, she didn't have glistening pecs with lovely pert, small nipples, she had like.... I dunno... flab or summat. And the nipples were bigger.
"Ronda", I said, "you've got like.. some kind of flabby chest things, and your dick and balls have been removed. Can you explain what's going on, only I feel like some kind of faggot."
Without a cock in my asshole I just felt like a raving queer or something... "this must be what Elton John feels like" I told myself.
Panicked, I kept running around like a raving ****, as Ronda trudged forward, desperate to land something on me... though what, I have no idea, as I've already explained she didn't have a cock.
After three minutes of this, the fat **** looked knackered and gasping. It was then that I started getting my old fella out and whacking her in the face with it.
To tell the truth, it didn't feel right to be putting my taddywhacker anywhere near a girl, but I was thrown into this situation, so I went with it.
I dick slapped her about fifty times, and pretty soon I could tell her heart wasn't in it... in fact, she looked so dejected she looked as if she'd rather have been at an Eagles of Death Metal concert.
Before anyone could shout "too soon" I'd dick slapped her to the ground and took my victory. However, just seconds later my glory was tainted.
"This proves", said LarryX in my ear, masturbating furiously, "that Floyd Mayweather would have been able to dick slap her as well."
I was disheartened. Floyd had bummed her by triangular logic proxy, as usual for NSB, and I, myself, just longed for the days when I could get back to a good, old-fashioned cock. No ****.
To tell the truth, I really don't know. It's the first time I've had a specific request, but I'll try and break it down for you:
First of all, Ronda came at me, and I grabbed for her firm, succulent dick, and tried to suck on her lovely, juicy balls. However, when I got her pants down, I noticed she didn't have any. It was like.... she was a eunuch or summat. I honestly don't know how to describe it..... I was trying to have sex with someone with no genitals. It was bizarre.
When I took her top off, she didn't have glistening pecs with lovely pert, small nipples, she had like.... I dunno... flab or summat. And the nipples were bigger.
"Ronda", I said, "you've got like.. some kind of flabby chest things, and your dick and balls have been removed. Can you explain what's going on, only I feel like some kind of faggot."
Without a cock in my asshole I just felt like a raving queer or something... "this must be what Elton John feels like" I told myself.
Panicked, I kept running around like a raving ****, as Ronda trudged forward, desperate to land something on me... though what, I have no idea, as I've already explained she didn't have a cock.
After three minutes of this, the fat **** looked knackered and gasping. It was then that I started getting my old fella out and whacking her in the face with it.
To tell the truth, it didn't feel right to be putting my taddywhacker anywhere near a girl, but I was thrown into this situation, so I went with it.
I dick slapped her about fifty times, and pretty soon I could tell her heart wasn't in it... in fact, she looked so dejected she looked as if she'd rather have been at an Eagles of Death Metal concert.
Before anyone could shout "too soon" I'd dick slapped her to the ground and took my victory. However, just seconds later my glory was tainted.
"This proves", said LarryX in my ear, masturbating furiously, "that Floyd Mayweather would have been able to dick slap her as well."
I was disheartened. Floyd had bummed her by triangular logic proxy, as usual for NSB, and I, myself, just longed for the days when I could get back to a good, old-fashioned cock. No ****.
This is my favorite one of 2015
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