[LMAO!] MMA saved my ass this weekend

[Holy Hatred]

I got pretty wasted at a night club this past Friday with a few buddies of mine to the point of feeling like going to my car and laying down, while walking to the exit and simultaneously texting on the phone I accidentally bumped into this chick who had a drink in her hand that ended up getting on her dress.

Just as I was about to apologize from out of nowhere she slaps me and starts going bananas, yelling obscenities and demanding that I buy her another drink. After a brief apology I quickly proceeded out the door and towards my vehicle, only to be delayed by the words "Hey mother****er!" being directed at me by some guy, obviously a friend of the woman that I had previously walked into.

My head turned slightly and before my body could follow these two guys come sprinting at me like some NFL wide receivers programmed to KILL. Knowing fully well that my chances of ending up on the wrong side of a Worldstarhiphop video just skyrocketed. I did what any logical person would do and began stacking bull**** to the ceiling.

I'll never forget telling them "I'm an amateur MMA fighter bro, are you sure you want to do this?", it stopped them dead in their tracks. One of the guys asked me what my problem was, then he pointed out what appeared to be a huge hand print on my left cheek. I explained my part of the story and they were surprisingly empathetic, we went our separate ways and most importantly, nobody ended up on Worldstarhiphop.

[squealpiggy]

I got pretty wasted at a night club this past Friday with a few buddies of mine to the point of feeling like going to my car and laying down, while walking to the exit and simultaneously texting on the phone I accidentally bumped into this chick who had a drink in her hand that ended up getting on her dress.

Just as I was about to apologize from out of nowhere she slaps me and starts going bananas, yelling obscenities and demanding that I buy her another drink. After a brief apology I quickly proceeded out the door and towards my vehicle, only to be delayed by the words "Hey mother****er!" being directed at me by some guy, obviously a friend of the woman that I had previously walked into.

My head turns slightly and before my body could follow these two guys come sprinting at me like some NFL wide receivers programmed to KILL. Knowing fully well that my chances of ending up on the wrong side of a Worldstarhiphop video just skyrocketed. I did what any logical person would do and began stacking bull**** to the ceiling.

I'll never forget telling them "I'm an amateur MMA fighter bro, are you sure you want to do this?", it stopped them dead in their tracks. One of them asked me what my problem was, then he pointed out what appeared to be a huge hand print on my left cheek. I explained my part of the story and they were surprisingly empathetic, we went our separate ways and most importantly, nobody ended up on Worldstarhiphop.

That... that's the stupidest story I've ever read. Two angry drunk guys who wanted to beat you up suddenly felt like pacifists because you said you were an amateur fighter!? That couldn't be any less likely if you told them they better watch themselves because you watch a lot of pro wrestling "bro".

[Sane Man]

I have to call bullshit on that too. I have been present at a bar when someone goes crazy and it causes aggressive people to think twice.

But those people have been similarly sized and the people starting shit are usually just pussies who are looking to act out.

You calmly and hilariously saying "I am an MMA fighter. You sure you wanna do this?" like a Van Damme movie wouldn't have done much to calm their ire IMO.

I mean one minute they are in your words charging at you like they're "programmed to kill" and the next they are like playful puppies.

From your description of them they must have been a good bit bigger than you. And it seems to be implied that you were alone.

So the evidence is thus:

There's one of you. And two of them.
They are huge and you might not be.
They are programmed to kill at that moment.


And a hilariously cheesy, bad kung-fu movie, line manages to completely placate them?

Yeah I call bullshit too. And I see you have made Annie's thread. Congratulations.

[baCCaT]

bringers argyle pants brought me here.

[I Love Jesus!]

taking the crane kick position from the original ka ra te kid movie also works

[DeadLikeMe]

Then I saw his avatar and it all made sense...

[Barn]

What you're meant to say is:

If you make me bleed I'll make sure to wipe my HIV positive blood all over you.

[SkillspayBills]

I got pretty wasted at a night club this past Friday with a few buddies of mine to the point of feeling like going to my car and laying down, while walking to the exit and simultaneously texting on the phone I accidentally bumped into this chick who had a drink in her hand that ended up getting on her dress.

Just as I was about to apologize from out of nowhere she slaps me and starts going bananas, yelling obscenities and demanding that I buy her another drink. After a brief apology I quickly proceeded out the door and towards my vehicle, only to be delayed by the words "Hey mother****er!" being directed at me by some guy, obviously a friend of the woman that I had previously walked into.

My head turns slightly and before my body could follow these two guys come sprinting at me like some NFL wide receivers programmed to KILL. Knowing fully well that my chances of ending up on the wrong side of a Worldstarhiphop video just skyrocketed. I did what any logical person would do and began stacking bull**** to the ceiling.

I'll never forget telling them "I'm an amateur MMA fighter bro, are you sure you want to do this?", it stopped them dead in their tracks. One of them asked me what my problem was, then he pointed out what appeared to be a huge hand print on my left cheek. I explained my part of the story and they were surprisingly empathetic, we went our separate ways and most importantly, nobody ended up on Worldstarhiphop.

This made me laugh so hard. I swear if I am about to fight and I hear someone say "WORLDSTARRR" I am asking for a truce. I won't risk getting my ass beat for a million people to see.

[Krewella Boyy]

This made me laugh so hard. I swear if I am about to fight and I hear someone say "WORLDSTARRR" I am asking for a truce. I won't risk getting my ass beat for a million people to see.

When you hear "WORLDSTARRR", that's when you know you're fighting for your life.

[zapdos]

LOL cool story bro.