A evening with Team Ward...

I sent the link to New England, but he hasn't been in yet. I bet he topped himself when I said Ward wasn't a dish.

[!! Anorak]

What is it with 2017 being the year of boring cunts having an exciting fight by accident and then retiring because of it?

First Wlad said "I can't believe I wasn't boring as shit for once - I'd better quit while the going's good", then this lazy-eyed God botherer's jacked it in.

I bet NSB's been full of Slapsie threads today, ain't it? "Why Calzaghe would beat Ward and Yanks are cunts" "Why Ward dominates Euro bum Calzaghe" "Poll - Calzaghe or Ward, who had the best cock?"

[BoxingFan85]

Annie's bumming Diary is funny af..

[!! Anorak]

Annie's bumming Diary is funny af..

I'm also pleased to bring the word "bumming" to the US. It's a very old school, 1980s word, it hasn't been used for decades now. I recently used it in a pub (bar, Fat Yanks) and got a big laugh just because it's so archaic.

[ShoulderRoll]

The special guest appearance by New England had me rolling.

[Zaroku]

It had been sometime since I'd last had a bumming off a professional prizefighter, so when I heard P4P great Andre Ward was giving me an opportunity, I couldn't be more thrilled.

I spoke to him on the phone, and asked if he'd sodomise me in Vegas, or, preferably, New York. "I've always wanted to be arse raped in Madison Square Garden, Andre", I told him excitedly.

Sadly, he was insistent that all the people he'd bum were only ever going to be butt fucked in Oakland. In fact, he'd made all the stipulations... he'd refused to allow me a bumming catchweight, and he'd even chosen the colour of the rubber johnnies. No Reyes prophylactics for me.

Well, I agreed to it all, and was still so excited that some love sap had leaked out and stained my jeans. But when I finally got to meet him face-to-face... fuck me.

If I'm going to have another man stick his dick in my asshole, I like him to be handsome - no ****. But this lazy-eyed prick looked like Sloth out of the Goonies after he'd had a stroke.

"Team Ward are going to deliver a fine bumming tonight," he promised, "it won't be an easy task to fuck that asshole, but this is how we do in the name of Jesus. We just get better and better at bumming, because this is what God ask."

I've been butt ****ed by some tedious cunts in my time - I'd had Lennox Lewis up there, you may remember - but this **** redefined what it meant to be boring. By now, my enthusiasm had all but died, so I pulled my pants down, bent over and opened my arse cheeks. "You may as well get it over with", I said.

Suddenly I felt a terrific pain in my kidneys. But it wasn't from his old fella.. instead, he'd elbowed me in the back, while twisting my arm round and then headbutting me in the face. He kept roughly pinning me to the bed as he entered me, nutting me again and again, and even tried to fuck the eye wound.

I didn't cum, but for 36 minutes I was anally dominated. I couldn't dispute his strength or his speed - though there wasn't much power in his bell end - but by the end of it I wished he'd get a cock injury so I didn't have to see it again for at least a year.

"I'm butt fucking you for Jesus!" he cried when he came inside me, knitting together my colon and kidneys with a fresh stream of glistening man syrup, "I'm butt fucking you for Jesus!"

Well, I let him pull out, and then he thanked God for being able to cum up my arse. By this point I was so unenthused I nipped to the bathroom to brush the taste of his pubes out of my gums, and then made preparations to leave.

As I got out two minutes later, he'd gone all quiet. "I'm off then, Andre" I said. "Sure, sure, don't let me keep you in the name of Jesus" he told me.

There was something amiss. He couldn't wait for me to leave. Granted, my arsehole hadn't thrusted as well as it sometimes does, but was I really that bad?

Suddenly, I noticed a moving shape in the bed.

"Andre," I yelled, "have you got someone else in the bed with you?"

"N... no. No, I haven't, in the name of Jesus!" he squealed.

Well, I wasn't having any of it. I pulled back the cover and there he was.... New England, naked as a baby, chomping down merrily on Andre Ward's God-bothering taddywhacker.

"Yum yum mmmmmmmmmmmmm, tastes good," said NE, "Andre, did I ever tell you I'm really educated? And I'm really tough, just like you? I have big muscles, shall I show them to you? Mmmmmmmmmmmm... I can't get enough of your tasty dick. USA USA USA!"

Andre sat back, a smug look of boss-eyed satisfaction playing across his mouth. "This is what we train for, me and my team, we a big family, getting sucked off by New England in the name o' Jesus!"

I left them both to it. I felt betrayed and appalled. And although I couldn't dispute Mr. Ward's skilled at giving me a pounding in the ring, it was an experience so dull I had no desire to revisit it.

You a cool ****ed up grill pink azz **** head.