Here it is, folks... the "LOUNGE BULL**** OF THE WEEK" thread

[!! Anorak]

I thought you were, Kev, but I also thought "ah, **** it, let's drop some pwn anyway", you know?

[!! Anorak]

My older cousin is a street-smart dude who has been in gangs and prison.

He told me once that he would take me to LA to party and get girls.

He told me some interesting things.

"God put men on Earth to lead women."

Now this is obviously politically incorrect, but I think it's true.

When I was a kid, girls my age, by in large, ignored me because I was chubby.

But when I attacked this big kid who was ****ing with me, a girl smiled at me and told me,

"Puncher, you know how to fight?!"

It goes back to what my cousin told me.

"God put men on earth to lead women."

Women don't know what the fu*k they want. You have to show them.

After that life lesson, I would never try to water down my masculinity.

Girls get turned on by a loose-cannon who gets into fights and shows balls. I was like a big orange tabby bullying all the other male cats.

And once you show dominance over other males, you get access to all the girls first.

Back in 2006 -- at 15 -- I was getting a lot of girls attention on myspace by taking pictures of myself looking serious with Loc's on. I knew how to turn on a girl's faucet.

At 25 -- even though I'm past my prime and punchy -- I am still able to turn on females. In the morning, I go outside and mark my territory by shadow boxing. Ha! Ha! Jabs, uppercuts, right hands, left hooks, overhand rights, head movement, footwork.

Many women smile at me and wave. One lady was so turned on she ran outside and started talking to me. I didn't have to say shit. I just smiled and she was all on my nuts like a black man on some free KFC he got from a coupon.

Now here's the key!

Don't show ANY neediness or submissiveness. I used to show passiveness when I was younger and I noticed how quickly girls lost interest.

One lady saw me putting in my miles and she waved and smiled in a way that said, "I want you to fuck me."

Now when you fu*k these women you have to put it down like a champ. They don't want a little wimp. Why do you think they want me in the first place? Their husbands are pussified and ball-less -- it's in their wives' purses.

There's a sea of man-deprived pus*y out there. So many men are little bitches nowadays. These women will throw it at you and all you have to do is not get in your own way. I'm a masculine mother****er and never act out of that character for them. The only time I act like a little bi*ch is with my mom, aunts, and serious relationships. No need to be a tough guy monster with my family.

If you don't have a street-smart cousin, you better study this thread. Vadrigar. Zaroku

Also, never let a woman take your balls.

Where to start with this one, eh, gang? There's a lot going on here, isn't there?

First of all he tells us that he was picked on because he was "chubby", which - as he's an American poster - could mean that he weighed anything upwards of 200lbs. Per leg.

At the start of this epic tale he tells us "When I was a kid, girls my age, by in large, ignored me because I was chubby." But then, as he suddenly develops the mystique of Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris's love child, he suddenly becomes desirable.

What is this kid trying to tell us with that, then? "I'm really hard and get loads of pussy.... it's a good job I'm so tough, because before I started fighting, girls thought I was a right ugly ****."

As a position to boast from, it's a shaky foundation, ain't it?

But I'm not sure if this is an ambitious alt, or just a plain ****** dribbling away. I keep going back to his opening gambit:

"He told me once that he would take me to LA to party and get girls."

Past tense, note. With no indication that this actually took place. Can you imagine that poor guy's cousin? "I told him I'd take him to a LA party to pick up girls... but then I remembered he's a complete ****. He keeps asking me about it, and I change the subject, but it's been a decade since I promised him now. What do I do?"

It's your bull**** of the week.

[punchr]

Where to start with this one, eh, gang? There's a lot going on here, isn't there?

First of all he tells us that he was picked on because he was "chubby", which - as he's an American poster - could mean that he weighed anything upwards of 200lbs. Per leg.

At the start of this epic tale he tells us "When I was a kid, girls my age, by in large, ignored me because I was chubby." But then, as he suddenly develops the mystique of Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris's love child, he suddenly becomes desirable.

What is this kid trying to tell us with that, then? "I'm really hard and get loads of pussy.... it's a good job I'm so tough, because before I started fighting, girls thought I was a right ugly ****."

As a position to boast from, it's a shaky foundation, ain't it?

But I'm not sure if this is an ambitious alt, or just a plain ****** dribbling away. I keep going back to his opening gambit:

"He told me once that he would take me to LA to party and get girls."

Past tense, note. With no indication that this actually took place. Can you imagine that poor guy's cousin? "I told him I'd take him to a LA party to pick up girls... but then I remembered he's a complete ****. He keeps asking me about it, and I change the subject, but it's been a decade since I promised him now. What do I do?"

It's your bull**** of the week.

Fighting gave me confidence. From there I further developed my masculinity -- i.e. boxing, lifting weights, clothing, social skills, etc. I was a sixth-grader. At that time, my friends were getting girlfriends except me.

The hungriest lion will fight the hardest.

Once I became desirable to female **** sapiens, I could just chill. I didn't have to do shit because that's when I acquired options.

When I do road work women see an ambitious, virile guy. It's crazy how many hoes wave and smile at me. It's an invitation to fuck their face off.

[!! Anorak]

Fighting gave me confidence. From there I further developed my masculinity -- i.e. boxing, lifting weights, clothing, social skills, etc. I was a sixth-grader. At that time, my friends were getting girlfriends except me.

The hungriest lion will fight the hardest.

Once I became desirable to female **** sapiens, I could just chill. I didn't have to do shit because that's when I acquired options.

When I do road work women see an ambitious, virile guy. It's crazy how many hoes wave and smile at me. It's an invitation to fuck their face off.

Is this the first time in history that the bullshit of the week has actually been posted IN the bullshit of the week thread?

[13777]

Once I became desirable to female **** sapiens, I could just chill.

[ShoulderRoll]

Good call for this week's entry.

[Sugar Adam Ali]

LMAO

Who the **** goes outside on their lawn to shadow box...

[SouthPawHitman]

Fighting gave me confidence. From there I further developed my masculinity -- i.e. boxing, lifting weights, clothing, social skills, etc. I was a sixth-grader. At that time, my friends were getting girlfriends except me.

The hungriest lion will fight the hardest.

Once I became desirable to female **** sapiens, I could just chill. I didn't have to do shit because that's when I acquired options.

When I do road work women see an ambitious, virile guy. It's crazy how many hoes wave and smile at me. It's an invitation to fuck their face off.

Man it's the Internet,you don't have to lie we're all losers here.

[Sugar Adam Ali]

Fighting gave me confidence. From there I further developed my masculinity -- i.e. boxing, lifting weights, clothing, social skills, etc. I was a sixth-grader. At that time, my friends were getting girlfriends except me.

The hungriest lion will fight the hardest.

Once I became desirable to female **** sapiens, I could just chill. I didn't have to do shit because that's when I acquired options.

When I do road work women see an ambitious, virile guy. It's crazy how many hoes wave and smile at me. It's an invitation to fuck their face off.

Honestly, this totally reads as a post by NEW ENGLAND

[punchr]

LMAO

Who the **** goes outside on their lawn to shadow box...

What? It's fun and takes balls. I don't care what people think; I am my own man.

Also, I don't do it on my lawn I do it all around the adjacent residential areas.