Triggerhappy, I have to massage my missus feet almost every night, I wish i had your enthusiasm for feet because i just get bored and my wrists end up aching, I derive no pleasure from it at all
I understand the convenience of automatic toilets, but c'mon!
I had a salad for dinner, and I began to sense a slight rustling in my colon, and a tinge of tension in my sphincter, on account of the ruf***e and such. Well, I decide to use the executive bathroom, because it is nicer, and it has ass gaskets. I could have used the other bathroom, but it would have taken forever to lay down the protective barrier of toilet paper, and time was of the essence. I grabbed my copy of GQ, the one with James Franco on the cover, and made my way, hurriedly, to the bathroom. I commence to prepare for my ritualistic blessing of the executive bathroom by removing a sanitary paper seat cover from the convenient dispenser that is hanging on the wall. By now my stomach is making odd noises, and my colon is none too pleased. I proceed to lay the ass gasket on the seat, and turn around to undue my pants, and release the hounds of hell on this unsuspecting, porcelain sacrifice. As soon as I turn around, the goddamn toilet flushes! Down goes the cover, and there goes the time table for my precision strike. I had to shuffle across the bathroom for another boo boo barrier, with my butt clenched, and my pants around my ankles, because in bending to pull them up I would have run the risk of premature crapulation. On the way back to the stall I almost trip and go head first into a ****ing john. Luckily I was able to grab a cover, make it back, place it, and position myself before the show began.
WTF? Do they not have some kind of delay on these things, or am I expected to be some kind of **** gymnast and try to do everything at once?
Triggerhappy, I have to massage my missus feet almost every night, I wish i had your enthusiasm for feet because i just get bored and my wrists end up aching, I derive no pleasure from it at all
I can do it for hours and hours. I guess I was born to rub feet.
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