Drunk Lang

[Beercules]

I have nightmares, man. But not like you. I've been in some battles and had bad experiences, but I've never been to war. I was parodying Prettyboy. I'm friends now with Prettyboy though, so I won't be talking any shit about him. Prettyboy pm'd me on Twitter earlier, and set up a meeting at a nice blowjob bar in Hainan.

I'm cool with both of you so hit me up next time.



****ing Tom Brady

[Beercules]

[Verse 1]
Gettin' higher than the soul of little Shaniya
And to the ones that killed her, hope you burn in fire
I’m burnin' tires on the strip, tryna get a grip
Liquor in the cupholder, tryna get a sip
6 shots of Hennessey, I’m still goin' strong
Please numb me from the bull**** that’s goin' on

[Beercules]

Well lads.


I'm meeting this girl I was sexting (drunk)


Ill be in jersey city.




If you don't see me post, ill be dead.



Or send a rescue team.

[Drunken Cat]

Nodogoshi here. This is a contribution to Nodogoshi's personal blog. I'm not going to talk about the time I got stomped by a yakuza guy. He jumped me in my sleep, and I actually used my wrestling skills and turned the cards on him, and then he grabbed a knife, and I jumped off a balcony, with a whiskey bottle in my hand. I already told that story, probably.

I'll tell the story of this time in China, when I was in a dive bar, drinking with Chinese girls (and buying the drinks myself, that was the hustle, but it's up front and ****). A girl dragged my in the bathroom, and I hit that **** raw, then and there. A chinese guy showed up, and thought she was his girl, but I already ****ed her, and I was hugging on her and ****, and he didn't like it. He called me out. He tackled me on the street, but I reversed it with a quick sweep, and I kicked his ass.

[Drunken Cat]

But, I did feel bad about it. And I talked to the girl afterwards, and she said he started it, and laid it out similar to how I just did. The bargirls just stood back and let us brawl, and then called me a taxi.

[Drunken Cat]

The time I upturned the table on the big German guy. I was out of line, and I paid for it, with a black eye, but it wasn't as bad as when the other German guy kicked my ass, in the same bar, several months earlier. He karate chopped me in the throat, and then just pretty well laid into me. I'm 0-2 against Germans, actually. Or 1-2 actually, I got the better of the first scuffle I had against the latter German, and then I had to wrestle a big black American dude who broke up the fight, but the German guy came back at me with a vengeance, one night when I was so drunk on whiskey I could barely stand. Avoid fighting Germans, maybe. Or maybe don't. Maybe go avenge me.

[Drunken Cat]

There was video footage of when that German guy beat my ass, I didn't get to see it, they didn't let me see, and the bar owner, a big Austrian guy, was right there watching, but he didn't do anything to try to stop it, but that's okay, he was drunk as **** too. The guy actually got fired and kicked out of China by his company actually, because he was a dick pulling other bull****, and when he kicked my ass it was the last straw. I actually did everything I could to defend him, and try to tell the German cartel there it was all good, I'm fine, and he doesn't need consequences for this. But, they were fed up with him, I never saw him again.

[Drunken Cat]

Oh yeah, I don't embelish. All that **** happened. The only story I ever made up was when I talked about riding rails across North America, to try to compete with Deranged's short story telling.

Come on lads. What are your good barfight stories? I, and hopefully us all, wanna here.

[Drunken Cat]

[Drunken Cat]

I'm home, brahs. Come at me. It is cold out here for a pimp, but I;m home now. 541. Look me up. But, I don't know the bowjob bar scene here.