Drunk Lang

[El-blanco]

**** all this talk of crown is killin me

[roxy]

The reason they call it a tequila sunrise is because you can wake up to it.

[BostonGuy]

Let's post some of your favorite "blackout" stories...

Here's mine:


I was probably 19 at time living with my brother in a one bedroom condo. We were both close in age, so we had some of the same friends and partied a lot.

So one night I'm hanging out with a group of my friends at the condo and several girl acquaintances. We're all drinking, smoking butts and maybe a lil weed. Back in the day, I was a big drinker - I loved drinking beers and getting "ragtime." I remember we didn't have a lot of beers and we ran out maybe around 10:00 pm. Everyone was chill with this, but I wanted to get ****in wrecked. So there was this half empty bottle of Absolute that was laying around the kitchen for months - it seemed like no one wanted to drink it.

So at that point, I'm outa beer and see the vodka so I start taking shots like I'm a pro (and as you'll soon find out, I was anything but...).

OK, at that point I'm pretty drunk and one of the girls, that one who was ugly, starts trying to make out with me - actually it was more like her attacking me. I'm drunk, whatever so I start making out with the girl in my kitchen. At that moment my brother comes home and it's kind of embarrassing because I'm with an unattractive girl. So we decide to leave.

If my memory serves me, this was in January and it was freezing ****in cold and we go to the girls house (lil less than mile away). She takes me up to her door and, there's waiting, her mom and mom's boyfriend. They take one look at me and shake their heads..."no, no, no."

So the night's over? No, it's just begun! The girl, Karen, whispers in my ear "meet me in my Mom's car that's parked outside." I'm ****ing piss drunk and am going with the flow - so I say "Ok."

I go to the car, she sneaks out of her house and we're in the backseat...making out again. This time I manage to get her breasts out and am sucking on 'em pretty good. I'm rounding second base and am desperately trying to make third. Well, here's where the trouble starts...I'm so ****faced at this point, I don't have the dexterity to remove her overalls. I couldn't for the life of me unsnap her overalls. It was so frustrating but I was so freakin drunk.

At that point, the "blackout" begins and as a result of my drunken stupor, I have averted having sex with this girl. Thinking back, a 'blessing in disguise.'

When I came to, out of my blackout it was probably 6-7 in the morning and I was urinating in my friend's driveway, who lived up the street from this girl. I must've been blacked out for a good 5 hours that I can't account for.

So I stumbled home, cold and hungover never to speak of what happened that night..

[Drunken Cat]

I just started texting the Chinese girl, who gave me the best sex, and who told me I was too drunk, and abruptly stopped seeing me.

I haven't talked to her in probably almost a year.

She says she got married. And she's still in Tokyo, but is moving back to China next year.

And she is being really nice to me.

I wonder if I have another shot at it.

Before you get holier than thou about the extra baggage, it wouldn't be my first time with a girl with extra baggage.

[Drunken Cat]

She still lives near to me.

I think I can likely pull this off.

Her husband probably lives in China.

Before any of you get holier than thou with me, let me just say she gave me the best sex.

[Weltschmerz]

She still lives near to me.

I think I can likely pull this off.

Her husband probably lives in China.

Before any of you get holier than thou with me, let me just say she gave me the best sex.

Ehm okay but do you realize it would be very wrong to do that, considering she is married?

[Drunken Cat]

Ehm okay but do you realize it would be very wrong to do that, considering she is married?

Allow me to quote myself.

I just started texting the Chinese girl, who gave me the best sex, and who told me I was too drunk, and abruptly stopped seeing me.

I haven't talked to her in probably almost a year.

She says she got married. And she's still in Tokyo, but is moving back to China next year.

And she is being really nice to me.

I wonder if I have another shot at it.

Before you get holier than thou about the extra baggage, it wouldn't be my first time with a girl with extra baggage.

She still lives near to me.

I think I can likely pull this off.

Her husband probably lives in China.

Before any of you get holier than thou with me, let me just say she gave me the best sex.

Anyway, what could be so wrong about it?

What do I look like, a Christian?

Take that 'thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife' **** and shove it, as far as I'm concerned.

And besides, I've known a lot of Chinese girls, and they have different morals. Many a Chinese girl doesn't think twice about that sort of thing. They even have an acronym: 'MBA: Married But Available'. That is an acronym that I learned from a Chinese girl.

[Drunken Cat]

Besides that, what could be morally incorrect about hooking up with a Chinese girl, who I had a tremendous time with, who is probably really lonely, who's husband is hundreds or even thousands of miles away and would never know?

I've got know qualms about this one at all.

Welts, my man, your problem is probably just that you haven't spent enough time in a city like Tokyo.

[Mr Ehrmantraut]

You reap what you sow in life Virg.

It's not big or clever to be actively chasing a married woman.

[Drunken Cat]

That being said, I'm not saying this is a sure thing.

One of my biggest problems with women is I don't ever have the patience/want to spend the time.

Now I have to keep on and keep on text messaging? Keep on and keep on dating? All that kind of thing.

I prefer it if I can hit it on the first night.

The problem with that of course is if you hit it on the first night, they never want to see you again.

So I often end up stuck in the middle, high and dry.

Well, let me tell you something, this girl gave me the best sex.

The marriage is irreverent as far as I care.

If I can hit it again, it'd be worth my time.

**** what anyone says.