Another Ominous Report Out Of The AJ Camp

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  • koolkc107
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    #1

    Another Ominous Report Out Of The AJ Camp

    December 2, 2019


    Just days before his anticipated rematch with Andy Ruiz Jr, a totally reliable source has confirmed Anthony Joshua died for 11 whole minutes during an intense sparring session, but still intends to go ahead with the fight.


    After Joshua was knocked down four times in the first fight with Ruiz en route to a seventh round stoppage, rumours circulated that Joshua was hurt badly in sparring in the buildup to the fight and suffered from a panic attack in his dressing room prior to his delayed ring walk, but Joshua and his team were quick to dismiss them as false.


    As if those rumours weren't bad enough, reports are now coming in, mainly from World Boxing News, that Joshua momentarily died in sparring sometime in the last week, which will do nothing for the Olympic gold medallist's chances of reclaiming his world titles.



    The source, who asked not to be named, claims Joshua was preparing for Ruiz' speed by sparring a welterweight and was unfortunately hit by a devastating combination that briefly sent the former champion's body to the canvas and his soul to the spirit world for a terrifying 11 minutes.



    He also claims the British fighter was brought back to life by a local faith healer (or 'Ruqyah healer' as they're known in Saudi Arabia) who just happened to be in the gym, likely to help Joshua with his anxiety.



    When Joshua woke up, he apparently told his team that the spirit of Muhammad Ali gave him some words of inspiration for the rematch, along the lines of "son, if you don't lose some muscle mass, that fat little Mexican will put you on your ass".



    Eddie Hearn of Matchroom Boxing, Joshua's promoter, had this to say about the wild claim:



    "Who told you that s***? World Boxing News? Whoever it was, it's false. Anthony's been alive for at least the vast majority of camp and no welterweight has put him down that I've seen. There was that middleweight that rocked him a couple of times, but we banned him from camp weeks ago.



    "I'm sick of these unfounded rumours going round. Anthony's a warrior. He didn't get knocked out in sparring last time, he didn't have a panic attack; he had a temporary fear-induced state of distress, and he didn't die in sparring last Thursday. S***."


    Just days before his anticipated rematch with Andy Ruiz Jr, a totally reliable source has confirmed Anthony Joshua died for 11 whole minutes during an intense sparring session, but still intends to go ahead with the fight.After Joshua was knocked down four times in the first fight with Ruiz en route to a seventh round stoppage, rumours circulated that Joshua was hurt badly in sparring in the buildup to the fight and suffered from a panic attack in his dressing room prior to his delayed ring walk
  • YoungManRumble
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    #2
    Is that like The Onion for sports?


    LOL the article on the side "Wilder-Ortiz rematch in jeopardy after Ortiz chokes on a hard candy"

    I can dig it

    Well upon further reading the writing is a little lacking but I applaud the effort for some boxing parody articles. A nice lighthearted change of pace from seeing people argue about the business side of things that don't affect fans like us other than not seeing some good fights we should get to see.
    Last edited by YoungManRumble; 12-03-2019, 08:12 PM.

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    • Nash out
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      #3
      Not bad, but the Eddie Hearn quotes just don't come across as something he would say, the language and phrasing doesn't really ring true to him, I think you really have to capture people right in a good parody, but a decent enough read.

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      • boliodogs
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        #4
        I don't believe a welterweight knocked him out in sparing with head gear and 16 ounce gloves. He has fought lots of hard punching heavyweights in real fights with small gloves and never been knocked out cold. the story sounds like BS to me. Nothing against AJ but I hope Ruiz wins.

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        • YoungManRumble
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          #5
          Originally posted by boliodogs
          I don't believe a welterweight knocked him out in sparing with head gear and 16 ounce gloves. He has fought lots of hard punching heavyweights in real fights with small gloves and never been knocked out cold. the story sounds like BS to me. Nothing against AJ but I hope Ruiz wins.
          Lol oh my word can you not read between the lines?

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          • DaNeutral.
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            #6
            Is anybody making Deontay Wilder aware of these things that are happening to Joshua. Its fighters having problems that seems to be a turn on for Wilder. He likes them limping their way into the ring or short of breath.

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            • New England
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              #7
              Originally posted by dot.c.eh
              Lol oh my word can you not read between the lines?


              can he even read at all ?

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              • GGG Gloveking
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                #8
                Originally posted by dot.c.eh
                Lol oh my word can you not read between the lines?
                That's my homie, but he has a hard time with sarcasm sometime. I said something silly about "lil g" one day, and he ripped me a new one

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                • mjh1969
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                  #9
                  Originally posted by koolkc107
                  December 2, 2019


                  Just days before his anticipated rematch with Andy Ruiz Jr, a totally reliable source has confirmed Anthony Joshua died for 11 whole minutes during an intense sparring session, but still intends to go ahead with the fight.


                  After Joshua was knocked down four times in the first fight with Ruiz en route to a seventh round stoppage, rumours circulated that Joshua was hurt badly in sparring in the buildup to the fight and suffered from a panic attack in his dressing room prior to his delayed ring walk, but Joshua and his team were quick to dismiss them as false.


                  As if those rumours weren't bad enough, reports are now coming in, mainly from World Boxing News, that Joshua momentarily died in sparring sometime in the last week, which will do nothing for the Olympic gold medallist's chances of reclaiming his world titles.



                  The source, who asked not to be named, claims Joshua was preparing for Ruiz' speed by sparring a welterweight and was unfortunately hit by a devastating combination that briefly sent the former champion's body to the canvas and his soul to the spirit world for a terrifying 11 minutes.



                  He also claims the British fighter was brought back to life by a local faith healer (or 'Ruqyah healer' as they're known in Saudi Arabia) who just happened to be in the gym, likely to help Joshua with his anxiety.



                  When Joshua woke up, he apparently told his team that the spirit of Muhammad Ali gave him some words of inspiration for the rematch, along the lines of "son, if you don't lose some muscle mass, that fat little Mexican will put you on your ass".



                  Eddie Hearn of Matchroom Boxing, Joshua's promoter, had this to say about the wild claim:



                  "Who told you that s***? World Boxing News? Whoever it was, it's false. Anthony's been alive for at least the vast majority of camp and no welterweight has put him down that I've seen. There was that middleweight that rocked him a couple of times, but we banned him from camp weeks ago.



                  "I'm sick of these unfounded rumours going round. Anthony's a warrior. He didn't get knocked out in sparring last time, he didn't have a panic attack; he had a temporary fear-induced state of distress, and he didn't die in sparring last Thursday. S***."


                  https://www.thesportrag.com/single-p...claims-insider
                  This is funny. Whats even funnier, is that if Joshua somehow loses this fight he will have his excuses ready.

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                  • NachoMan
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                    #10
                    Damn, he momentarily died for 11 minutes! Rigor mortis sets in after 5, I think, so he's prolly going to look even stiffer than normal on Saturday - at least for the first few rounds.

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