Tweet
In boxing, we used to hope the guy we liked was the best and we knew we would find out.
Now no one fights each other so we just sit around and argue about who’s the best, knowing that they’ll never fight.
A big thanks to promoters and casual fans for messing this all up.
Let’s talk about every big name in boxing and why their resume is trash.
Heavyweight
Wilder is 1-0-1 against good fighters and has lost every round against those two that he didn’t score a knockdown in. The draw was also a gift.
Fury’s only win of significance was against Wladimir Klitschko, who was old at the time.
Joshua’s only win of significance was against an even older Wladimir Klitschko.
Ruiz knocked out Joshua, who’s totally suspect, and that’s it. He lost to Joseph Parker who couldn’t break an egg with his fists.
Usyk is known for being the best of a bad situation called the cruiserweight division. Fought basically even with a cruiserweight named Briedis.
Cruiserweight
Everyone is aspiring to prove that they aren’t as good as Usyk but are still worth watching. Awesome. Briedis is basically just as good as Usyk but he should have lost to some dude named Noel Gevor but got a gift. That’s the class of the cruiserweight division people.
Light Heavyweight
Gvozdyk is supposed to be good because he beat up an old man.
Bivol is supposed to be good because he outclasses guys who aren’t good.
Beterbiev got knocked down and almost taken out by a bum.
Kovalev is 3-3 in his last 6 fights.
Super Middleweight
Smith is the best of a bad situation because he won a WBSS tournament missing all the champions by knocking out an old man. That same old man beat Eubanks up and Eubanks is probably one of the five best in the division right now.
Plant impresses people by having great amateur experience and outclassing guys who are garbage.
Benavidez is supposed to be impressive because he beat a guy badly who fought him close the fight before. He also has a coke problem. I should probably mention Dirrell but who cares?
Saunders’ biggest win is over David Lemieux.
Middleweight
Alvarez’s entire resume is built on fights he should have lost.
GGG didn’t have a name opponent until he was old
Charlo and Andrade haven’t fought anyone worthwhile
Jacobs is 0-3 against his best competition
Super Welterweight
Williams got crushed by the bigger Charlo and won the titles by outboxing a guy who can’t box well.
Harrison got knocked out by Willie Nelson.
Munguia’s signature victory is over Ali and he just got a gift over a no-hoper.
Charlo lost to Harrison.
Hurd is the Deontay Wilder of the division and has to win by knockout. His signature victory should have been a loss and it came against an old man.
Casatano fought to a draw against an old man.
Lara is old.
Welterweight
Spence’s best wins are over a broken Kell Brook and a lightweight.
Crawford’s best win is either Viktol Postal or Jeff Horn... I guess you could argue someone else is as good as them. He doesn’t have a best win basically.
Pacquiao is ancient and is being celebrated because he beat a guy who fought once in two years and almost got knocked out by a bum that only other fight. That was the riskiest fight Pacquiao has had in years.
Porter lost comfortably to two other fighters in his division. He also lost comfortably to a third but got a gift decision.
Danny Garcia’s record should read like journeyman gatekeepers but he gets gift after gift unless he’s fighting guys off the street.
Super Lightweight
Taylor is getting praised because he beat Postal and a super raw boxer with pretend punching power named Ivan Barachyk.
Prograis is getting praised for beating a bunch of guys in a row that no one would ever expect to beat world class boxers.
Ramirez probably would have lost his last fight if it was in a neautral site. We decided he was good before that because he beat Amir Imam, Mike Reed and a guy who’s going to get fed to a prospect, LOL.
Hooker has three draws in his career already and his biggest win was a split decision over Terry Flanagan.
Lightweight
Lomachenko’s career defining victory is over a guy in a lower weight class who almost never fights. It was a majority decision
Richard Commey lost to Shafikov and Easter, both who suck.
Until Spence destroyed him, Mikey Garcia was best known for being inactive and avoiding the other top guy in every weight class he ever fought in.
Super Featherweight
Davis’ biggest win is over Pedraza, a guy we golf clapped for because he only lost 10 or 11 rounds to Lomachenko. He’s also not really the WBA champ, it should be Andrew Cancio, a guy whos a journeyman.
Herring lost to LaDarius Miller and was knocked out by the previously mentioned Shafikov. He won the title over a guy no one thought was the best in his division.
Farmer’s biggest win is over Billy Dib and he has four losses. He only got this belt because Davis lost it at the scales and the IBF gave him another shot after he lost to a PED user.
Berchelt’s entire career is built on knocking out old, shop worn brawlers. He also lost to a guy who’s currently 24-13.
Featherweight
Russell Jr. almost never fights and is best known for not getting embarrassed against Lomachenko.
Santa Cruz’s biggest win is over Frampton. He also lost to Frampton and Frampton doesn’t appear to be that great anymore.
Warrington is where he is because he went life and death with Selby, Frampton and Galad.
Valdez has to take time off because someone who isn’t that good broke his jaw.
Super Bantamweight
Vargas is only good at this weight because he’s 6-feet tall. He brings nothing else and hasn’t beaten anyone. Since winning the title, he’s defended it against two fighters with more than 20 wins. The last guy he fought should have been in a lower weight class.
Roman only became champion because the WBA stripped Ringo unjustly and he unified against a guy who was 21-0 with no signature wins.
Navarette was supposed to be a victim for Isaac Dogboe but it turned out Dogboe ******.
Rigodeaux is 100 years old.
Bantamweight
Donaire is a titleist and he was the best bantamweight about a decade ago. He’s old.
Inoue kills everyone but somehow managed to avoid the 5 borderline top 10 p4p guys in the division below him.
Tete and Oubaali haven’t fought anyone and their own ABC titles have interim champs because they aren’t active enough.
Super Flyweight
Estrada beat Sor Rung Visai and Sor Rung Visai beat Chocolotito, but Chocolotito beat Estrada and should have won that first fight with Sor Rung Visai. Because Sor Rung Visai knocked out Chocolotito, it makes me think none of them were that good.
Ioka won his title after Nietes, a guy who beat him, vacated it. He won it over a guy who wasn’t in his class. Ioka doesn’t really have a signature victory.
Nietes’ signature victory is over Ioka. For such an impressive run, he hasn’t beat anyone that a casual fan would know.
Yafai doesn’t fight anyone and neither does Ancajas. Ancajas also should have lost his title to Barrios. It was a bad decision even though it was a draw.
Flyweight, Junior Flyweight and Strawweight
No one fights each other and the majority of contenders aren’t good.
Now no one fights each other so we just sit around and argue about who’s the best, knowing that they’ll never fight.
A big thanks to promoters and casual fans for messing this all up.
Let’s talk about every big name in boxing and why their resume is trash.
Heavyweight
Wilder is 1-0-1 against good fighters and has lost every round against those two that he didn’t score a knockdown in. The draw was also a gift.
Fury’s only win of significance was against Wladimir Klitschko, who was old at the time.
Joshua’s only win of significance was against an even older Wladimir Klitschko.
Ruiz knocked out Joshua, who’s totally suspect, and that’s it. He lost to Joseph Parker who couldn’t break an egg with his fists.
Usyk is known for being the best of a bad situation called the cruiserweight division. Fought basically even with a cruiserweight named Briedis.
Cruiserweight
Everyone is aspiring to prove that they aren’t as good as Usyk but are still worth watching. Awesome. Briedis is basically just as good as Usyk but he should have lost to some dude named Noel Gevor but got a gift. That’s the class of the cruiserweight division people.
Light Heavyweight
Gvozdyk is supposed to be good because he beat up an old man.
Bivol is supposed to be good because he outclasses guys who aren’t good.
Beterbiev got knocked down and almost taken out by a bum.
Kovalev is 3-3 in his last 6 fights.
Super Middleweight
Smith is the best of a bad situation because he won a WBSS tournament missing all the champions by knocking out an old man. That same old man beat Eubanks up and Eubanks is probably one of the five best in the division right now.
Plant impresses people by having great amateur experience and outclassing guys who are garbage.
Benavidez is supposed to be impressive because he beat a guy badly who fought him close the fight before. He also has a coke problem. I should probably mention Dirrell but who cares?
Saunders’ biggest win is over David Lemieux.
Middleweight
Alvarez’s entire resume is built on fights he should have lost.
GGG didn’t have a name opponent until he was old
Charlo and Andrade haven’t fought anyone worthwhile
Jacobs is 0-3 against his best competition
Super Welterweight
Williams got crushed by the bigger Charlo and won the titles by outboxing a guy who can’t box well.
Harrison got knocked out by Willie Nelson.
Munguia’s signature victory is over Ali and he just got a gift over a no-hoper.
Charlo lost to Harrison.
Hurd is the Deontay Wilder of the division and has to win by knockout. His signature victory should have been a loss and it came against an old man.
Casatano fought to a draw against an old man.
Lara is old.
Welterweight
Spence’s best wins are over a broken Kell Brook and a lightweight.
Crawford’s best win is either Viktol Postal or Jeff Horn... I guess you could argue someone else is as good as them. He doesn’t have a best win basically.
Pacquiao is ancient and is being celebrated because he beat a guy who fought once in two years and almost got knocked out by a bum that only other fight. That was the riskiest fight Pacquiao has had in years.
Porter lost comfortably to two other fighters in his division. He also lost comfortably to a third but got a gift decision.
Danny Garcia’s record should read like journeyman gatekeepers but he gets gift after gift unless he’s fighting guys off the street.
Super Lightweight
Taylor is getting praised because he beat Postal and a super raw boxer with pretend punching power named Ivan Barachyk.
Prograis is getting praised for beating a bunch of guys in a row that no one would ever expect to beat world class boxers.
Ramirez probably would have lost his last fight if it was in a neautral site. We decided he was good before that because he beat Amir Imam, Mike Reed and a guy who’s going to get fed to a prospect, LOL.
Hooker has three draws in his career already and his biggest win was a split decision over Terry Flanagan.
Lightweight
Lomachenko’s career defining victory is over a guy in a lower weight class who almost never fights. It was a majority decision
Richard Commey lost to Shafikov and Easter, both who suck.
Until Spence destroyed him, Mikey Garcia was best known for being inactive and avoiding the other top guy in every weight class he ever fought in.
Super Featherweight
Davis’ biggest win is over Pedraza, a guy we golf clapped for because he only lost 10 or 11 rounds to Lomachenko. He’s also not really the WBA champ, it should be Andrew Cancio, a guy whos a journeyman.
Herring lost to LaDarius Miller and was knocked out by the previously mentioned Shafikov. He won the title over a guy no one thought was the best in his division.
Farmer’s biggest win is over Billy Dib and he has four losses. He only got this belt because Davis lost it at the scales and the IBF gave him another shot after he lost to a PED user.
Berchelt’s entire career is built on knocking out old, shop worn brawlers. He also lost to a guy who’s currently 24-13.
Featherweight
Russell Jr. almost never fights and is best known for not getting embarrassed against Lomachenko.
Santa Cruz’s biggest win is over Frampton. He also lost to Frampton and Frampton doesn’t appear to be that great anymore.
Warrington is where he is because he went life and death with Selby, Frampton and Galad.
Valdez has to take time off because someone who isn’t that good broke his jaw.
Super Bantamweight
Vargas is only good at this weight because he’s 6-feet tall. He brings nothing else and hasn’t beaten anyone. Since winning the title, he’s defended it against two fighters with more than 20 wins. The last guy he fought should have been in a lower weight class.
Roman only became champion because the WBA stripped Ringo unjustly and he unified against a guy who was 21-0 with no signature wins.
Navarette was supposed to be a victim for Isaac Dogboe but it turned out Dogboe ******.
Rigodeaux is 100 years old.
Bantamweight
Donaire is a titleist and he was the best bantamweight about a decade ago. He’s old.
Inoue kills everyone but somehow managed to avoid the 5 borderline top 10 p4p guys in the division below him.
Tete and Oubaali haven’t fought anyone and their own ABC titles have interim champs because they aren’t active enough.
Super Flyweight
Estrada beat Sor Rung Visai and Sor Rung Visai beat Chocolotito, but Chocolotito beat Estrada and should have won that first fight with Sor Rung Visai. Because Sor Rung Visai knocked out Chocolotito, it makes me think none of them were that good.
Ioka won his title after Nietes, a guy who beat him, vacated it. He won it over a guy who wasn’t in his class. Ioka doesn’t really have a signature victory.
Nietes’ signature victory is over Ioka. For such an impressive run, he hasn’t beat anyone that a casual fan would know.
Yafai doesn’t fight anyone and neither does Ancajas. Ancajas also should have lost his title to Barrios. It was a bad decision even though it was a draw.
Flyweight, Junior Flyweight and Strawweight
No one fights each other and the majority of contenders aren’t good.
Comment