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By Lyle Fitzsimmons - Sure is nice to see it’s not just us.
While there’s little doubt the U.S. has set the market for ******ity in a great many things, when it comes to the good-time spectacle of kids beating up kids, we’re apparently not a monopoly.
Ladies and gentlemen… I give you Australia.
A few years after the “Garage Boys Fight Crew” showed us that straddling a foe’s chest and subjecting him to repeated fists and elbows was a sign of friendship among the elementary school elite, the folks down under have raised the bar.
In the subtropical hamlet of Gold Coast – home to half a million and an hour’s drive from the regional capital of Brisbane – the fairer sex has gotten in on the act.
With an undisclosed number on hand for pre-pubescent fun, 7-year-old bone-breaker Georgina “Punchout” Barton and her 8-year-old nemesis, Jasmine Parr; donned gloves, headgear, shin pads and venom for Parr’s maiden voyage in the world of public kickboxing.
Seems Jasmine is the estrogen-bearing pride and joy of hometown kick-fighter John Wayne Parr, who was in his little girl’s corner for the requisite technical assistance, verbal motivation and spit bucket carriage… in the absence, it seems, of any actual parenting.
Perhaps the latter was less vital than the $100 she got for her wet-eyed trouble.
The ******* of tears arrived in round one, when the tough-talking novelty faded and Jasmine realized being punched and kicked was not quite as fun as the burly old man had made it seem during the six-days-a-week training sessions.
Nonsense, said Daddy Dearest, summoning his inner Angelo Dundee and instead prescribing relaxation and breathing as cure-alls. “Because if you're crying it'll just get worse,” he claimed. “You need to take three big breaths and calm your heart down and concentrate on what you need to do.”
Great advice, if you’re instructing “Sugar Ray” or “The Greatest.”
For a kid barely past SpongeBob, the words are grossly misplaced.
Not to mention dangerous.
“It doesn't take a lot of force for the brain to be impacted,” said Anna Petrou, spokeswoman for Synapse, the brain injury association of Queensland. “For the girls, it might not be the initial impact but (they) could lose their balance and fall, which could impact them.”
But rather than heading for the nearest playground or bounce house to let the kids blow steam, Parr and his across-ring accessory sent the girls back into the line of fire. Where after all was said and done, the prurient exhibition was ultimately labeled a draw.
Jasmine was all smiles and a step closer to retirement at the final bell, claiming her next bout – if at all – wouldn’t come until she was at least 10.
Lest we forget, the precedent was set in Carthage, Mo., with the aforementioned “Garage Boys” were a 12-member team specializing in the violent free-for-all of ultimate fighting. [Click Here To Read More]
While there’s little doubt the U.S. has set the market for ******ity in a great many things, when it comes to the good-time spectacle of kids beating up kids, we’re apparently not a monopoly.
Ladies and gentlemen… I give you Australia.
A few years after the “Garage Boys Fight Crew” showed us that straddling a foe’s chest and subjecting him to repeated fists and elbows was a sign of friendship among the elementary school elite, the folks down under have raised the bar.
In the subtropical hamlet of Gold Coast – home to half a million and an hour’s drive from the regional capital of Brisbane – the fairer sex has gotten in on the act.
With an undisclosed number on hand for pre-pubescent fun, 7-year-old bone-breaker Georgina “Punchout” Barton and her 8-year-old nemesis, Jasmine Parr; donned gloves, headgear, shin pads and venom for Parr’s maiden voyage in the world of public kickboxing.
Seems Jasmine is the estrogen-bearing pride and joy of hometown kick-fighter John Wayne Parr, who was in his little girl’s corner for the requisite technical assistance, verbal motivation and spit bucket carriage… in the absence, it seems, of any actual parenting.
Perhaps the latter was less vital than the $100 she got for her wet-eyed trouble.
The ******* of tears arrived in round one, when the tough-talking novelty faded and Jasmine realized being punched and kicked was not quite as fun as the burly old man had made it seem during the six-days-a-week training sessions.
Nonsense, said Daddy Dearest, summoning his inner Angelo Dundee and instead prescribing relaxation and breathing as cure-alls. “Because if you're crying it'll just get worse,” he claimed. “You need to take three big breaths and calm your heart down and concentrate on what you need to do.”
Great advice, if you’re instructing “Sugar Ray” or “The Greatest.”
For a kid barely past SpongeBob, the words are grossly misplaced.
Not to mention dangerous.
“It doesn't take a lot of force for the brain to be impacted,” said Anna Petrou, spokeswoman for Synapse, the brain injury association of Queensland. “For the girls, it might not be the initial impact but (they) could lose their balance and fall, which could impact them.”
But rather than heading for the nearest playground or bounce house to let the kids blow steam, Parr and his across-ring accessory sent the girls back into the line of fire. Where after all was said and done, the prurient exhibition was ultimately labeled a draw.
Jasmine was all smiles and a step closer to retirement at the final bell, claiming her next bout – if at all – wouldn’t come until she was at least 10.
Lest we forget, the precedent was set in Carthage, Mo., with the aforementioned “Garage Boys” were a 12-member team specializing in the violent free-for-all of ultimate fighting. [Click Here To Read More]
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