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Has anyone heard this before?
1st Story:
Saturday night in Las Vegas, Nevada, the fighters in town for UFC 71 – Liddell vs. Jackson switched their focus from the battles to the bottles and gathered in a hotel bar. Chief among those killing brain cells was pankration fighter Ulysses "Useless" Gomez, who'd been keeping a steady pace since the night before. Shaking hands and buying drinks, he stumbled from table to table like the orangutan from the classic Clint Eastwood movie "Every Which Way But Loose". Bottle after bottle, his mustache was never dry.
I'm not sure why, but one of the Mexican boxers in Tito Ortiz's entourage, refused to shake his hand. Useless did not react well, hit him, and hit him hard. Moments later, hotel security was dragging him away, shirtless and howling. A person nearby asked if there was a camera crew around filming a reality show. It turns out this Mexican boxer laid out cold on the floor was none other than former two-time world champion Fernando Vargas.
The incident was quickly forgotten and everyone settled back into his or her groove. Tito Ortiz's entourage ruled the MGM lobby, as he was in town to corner his Team Punishment teammate Ivan Salaverry. They were feeling loose; laughing and shouting and slapping each other on the back. I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but it was damned entertaining nonetheless.
Ivan Salaverry lost his fight against Terry Martin, but that didn't stop him from being in a great mood. At 12-5, the MMA veteran now in the twilight of his career, moved with the speed of an enormous smiling predator, dispensing bear hugs to surprised strangers. Still, Salaverry was a welcome departure from some of the Team Punishment contingent, namely their blonde cheesy-smiling, fatheaded, chicken-legged ringleader Tito Ortiz.
After the party had settled down, I decided to hit the sack and headed up to my room. The last thing I expected when the elevator doors opened on my floor was to find myself face-to-face with a shirtless, weeping Ulysses Gomez. Nevertheless, there I was and there was he, the fighter who had just knocked out Fernando Vargas with a quickness, Ulysses Gomez, shirtless and weeping.
I can't say for certain what my facial expression told him that night, but I can tell you this: He didn't like it.
"**** you! You mother****er!" he shouted.
The "fight or flight" instinct kicked in.
I chose flight.
Thankfully, two of Useless' handlers David Bollea and Simpson Go were there to restrain him. Seizing my opportunity to escape, I headed for my room, speed walking with the panicked intensity of a frightened ostrich. Fumbling madly for the hotel room key-card, images floated through my mind of a scrambling fight to the finish with a weeping, tequila-breathed pankration fighter. Seconds later, I was safely behind a locked door, peering out through the peephole like a cornered rat in a hole. Useless was in the hallway. I wondered if the door was strong enough.
As an extra precaution I took the liberty of calling the front desk. "Ulysses Gomez chased me into my room," I said. "You might want to send someone up here."
"We know," the voice replied, sounding exasperated. "We've gotten three calls already about it. Security is on the way."
Thankfully, Useless was nowhere to be seen the next morning when I left the hotel and headed for the airport, thinking what's next?
2nd Story:
Here's a story I got from David Bollea, one of Useless' close friends from Cobra Kai. One of Useless' training partners (Simpson Go) was in a bar with Useless (both ****faced). Simpson says, "You smell funny. I don't like dirty Mexicans." Useless says "Hey man, you can't say that **** around here."
Fernando Vargas' girl heard this happen and said, "My man is a dirty Mexican, do you hate him?" Useless tells her that he's drunk and to just ignore him and offers to buy everyone a round.
Next thing you know, Fernando Vargas gets in Useless' face. Useless offers to buy him a beer and Vargas says something along the line of "Get that **** out of my face!" and slaps it from Useless' hand. Then punches Useless a couple times and Useless just looks at him and says "Why are you punching me and why do you hit like a ****ing Nancy?" Useless then procedes to lay Vargas out cold with a lightning fast 1-2 combo. Then out of nowhere an even bigger and dirtier Mexican, Ricco Rodriguez, comes up and kicks Useless about 5-6 times in the leg and Useless drops.
MGM security comes and they ask Useless if he wants to press charges and he says, "nah forget about it." Now Useless is banned from MGM after-parties for 10 years.
3rd Story:
Here's a version of the story provided straight from the mouth of Tito Ortiz:
"Ulysses "Useless" Gomez knocked him out. Fernando Vargas came after Useless. It was something that should've never happened; it was a scuffle outside of a nightclub. A friend of Vargas' jumped on my back goofing around, who is actually a real nice guy, we get along. So he was just goofing around, jumped on my back and acted like he was choking me from behind and one of my fighters, Tiki Ghosn, thought that he was actually attacking me and put him in a choke from behind and ripped him off my back. Well, I turned around and saw who it was, I told my fighter, "No, let him go" and right when my fighter let him go, he (Vargas' friend) turned around and asked my fighter (Ghosn) "What the hell are you doing?" And then one of the guys from Cobra Kai (Simpson Go), who is a friend of Useless, thought that the guy was actually causing problems and punched him and knocked him out. Then a big brawl started out of it; it was complete confusion. When the brawl started, Vargas took off his jacket and went after Useless, which, you know, he was just trying to defend his friend, and threw a punch at Useless and missed and then Useless hit him with a combo and knocked him out. He kicked him a couple of times, and I pushed Useless away from him to stop the fight and Tiki Ghosn helped Vargas up to his feet. In a nutshell, Useless lit Vargas up like a Christmas tree, and kicked his head like a football."
1st Story:
Saturday night in Las Vegas, Nevada, the fighters in town for UFC 71 – Liddell vs. Jackson switched their focus from the battles to the bottles and gathered in a hotel bar. Chief among those killing brain cells was pankration fighter Ulysses "Useless" Gomez, who'd been keeping a steady pace since the night before. Shaking hands and buying drinks, he stumbled from table to table like the orangutan from the classic Clint Eastwood movie "Every Which Way But Loose". Bottle after bottle, his mustache was never dry.
I'm not sure why, but one of the Mexican boxers in Tito Ortiz's entourage, refused to shake his hand. Useless did not react well, hit him, and hit him hard. Moments later, hotel security was dragging him away, shirtless and howling. A person nearby asked if there was a camera crew around filming a reality show. It turns out this Mexican boxer laid out cold on the floor was none other than former two-time world champion Fernando Vargas.
The incident was quickly forgotten and everyone settled back into his or her groove. Tito Ortiz's entourage ruled the MGM lobby, as he was in town to corner his Team Punishment teammate Ivan Salaverry. They were feeling loose; laughing and shouting and slapping each other on the back. I couldn't understand a word they were saying, but it was damned entertaining nonetheless.
Ivan Salaverry lost his fight against Terry Martin, but that didn't stop him from being in a great mood. At 12-5, the MMA veteran now in the twilight of his career, moved with the speed of an enormous smiling predator, dispensing bear hugs to surprised strangers. Still, Salaverry was a welcome departure from some of the Team Punishment contingent, namely their blonde cheesy-smiling, fatheaded, chicken-legged ringleader Tito Ortiz.
After the party had settled down, I decided to hit the sack and headed up to my room. The last thing I expected when the elevator doors opened on my floor was to find myself face-to-face with a shirtless, weeping Ulysses Gomez. Nevertheless, there I was and there was he, the fighter who had just knocked out Fernando Vargas with a quickness, Ulysses Gomez, shirtless and weeping.
I can't say for certain what my facial expression told him that night, but I can tell you this: He didn't like it.
"**** you! You mother****er!" he shouted.
The "fight or flight" instinct kicked in.
I chose flight.
Thankfully, two of Useless' handlers David Bollea and Simpson Go were there to restrain him. Seizing my opportunity to escape, I headed for my room, speed walking with the panicked intensity of a frightened ostrich. Fumbling madly for the hotel room key-card, images floated through my mind of a scrambling fight to the finish with a weeping, tequila-breathed pankration fighter. Seconds later, I was safely behind a locked door, peering out through the peephole like a cornered rat in a hole. Useless was in the hallway. I wondered if the door was strong enough.
As an extra precaution I took the liberty of calling the front desk. "Ulysses Gomez chased me into my room," I said. "You might want to send someone up here."
"We know," the voice replied, sounding exasperated. "We've gotten three calls already about it. Security is on the way."
Thankfully, Useless was nowhere to be seen the next morning when I left the hotel and headed for the airport, thinking what's next?
2nd Story:
Here's a story I got from David Bollea, one of Useless' close friends from Cobra Kai. One of Useless' training partners (Simpson Go) was in a bar with Useless (both ****faced). Simpson says, "You smell funny. I don't like dirty Mexicans." Useless says "Hey man, you can't say that **** around here."
Fernando Vargas' girl heard this happen and said, "My man is a dirty Mexican, do you hate him?" Useless tells her that he's drunk and to just ignore him and offers to buy everyone a round.
Next thing you know, Fernando Vargas gets in Useless' face. Useless offers to buy him a beer and Vargas says something along the line of "Get that **** out of my face!" and slaps it from Useless' hand. Then punches Useless a couple times and Useless just looks at him and says "Why are you punching me and why do you hit like a ****ing Nancy?" Useless then procedes to lay Vargas out cold with a lightning fast 1-2 combo. Then out of nowhere an even bigger and dirtier Mexican, Ricco Rodriguez, comes up and kicks Useless about 5-6 times in the leg and Useless drops.
MGM security comes and they ask Useless if he wants to press charges and he says, "nah forget about it." Now Useless is banned from MGM after-parties for 10 years.
3rd Story:
Here's a version of the story provided straight from the mouth of Tito Ortiz:
"Ulysses "Useless" Gomez knocked him out. Fernando Vargas came after Useless. It was something that should've never happened; it was a scuffle outside of a nightclub. A friend of Vargas' jumped on my back goofing around, who is actually a real nice guy, we get along. So he was just goofing around, jumped on my back and acted like he was choking me from behind and one of my fighters, Tiki Ghosn, thought that he was actually attacking me and put him in a choke from behind and ripped him off my back. Well, I turned around and saw who it was, I told my fighter, "No, let him go" and right when my fighter let him go, he (Vargas' friend) turned around and asked my fighter (Ghosn) "What the hell are you doing?" And then one of the guys from Cobra Kai (Simpson Go), who is a friend of Useless, thought that the guy was actually causing problems and punched him and knocked him out. Then a big brawl started out of it; it was complete confusion. When the brawl started, Vargas took off his jacket and went after Useless, which, you know, he was just trying to defend his friend, and threw a punch at Useless and missed and then Useless hit him with a combo and knocked him out. He kicked him a couple of times, and I pushed Useless away from him to stop the fight and Tiki Ghosn helped Vargas up to his feet. In a nutshell, Useless lit Vargas up like a Christmas tree, and kicked his head like a football."
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