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"Khan's Balls To be Khan-Celled"
Las Vegas, NV (AP) 02/04/2010
In a bizarre news story involving one of the top young fighters in boxing today, Richard Schaeffer of Golden Boy Promotions has announced today that his company with promote a live television PPV broadcast of the public castration of WBA Light Welterweight Champion Amir Khan.
Khan, of England Europeland, is apparently contractually bound to the castration as dictated by the terms of his contract with Golden Boy.
Schaeffer, speaking on behalf of both parties made it clear that it is a mutual agreement and that Khan is actually looking forward to the procedure.
"Look, when we signed Amir we let him know that we could make him a lot of money without having him take any risks. We told him we could feed him Dmitriy Salita's until he had a billion dollars in the bank."
Schaeffer continued on saying, "We also let him know that the only thing that could happen that could jeopardize out plan would be if somehow someway Amir's balls somehow became functional and his mouth wrote a check that his glass jaw wasn't able to cash."
"We came to the agreement that by removing his testicles now we can eliminate the possibility of this deal being ruined by either party. Furthermore to recoup expenses related to the procedure we have decided to broadcast this castration live on HBO PPV for an extremely low price of $19.95."
Schaeffer pointed out that this would appeal to English viewers because "Most of them have never even heard of circumcision. This will really open their eyes."
As if this whole matter wasn't strange enough Schaeffer left me with one final comment.
"Once we have removed the testicles and Amir settles into the new feeling we can start looking at the possibility of removing his penis and altering his sex organs to make him essentially female. This could allow Amir to capitalize by becoming the first 2 Gender World Champion."
Las Vegas, NV (AP) 02/04/2010
In a bizarre news story involving one of the top young fighters in boxing today, Richard Schaeffer of Golden Boy Promotions has announced today that his company with promote a live television PPV broadcast of the public castration of WBA Light Welterweight Champion Amir Khan.
Khan, of England Europeland, is apparently contractually bound to the castration as dictated by the terms of his contract with Golden Boy.
Schaeffer, speaking on behalf of both parties made it clear that it is a mutual agreement and that Khan is actually looking forward to the procedure.
"Look, when we signed Amir we let him know that we could make him a lot of money without having him take any risks. We told him we could feed him Dmitriy Salita's until he had a billion dollars in the bank."
Schaeffer continued on saying, "We also let him know that the only thing that could happen that could jeopardize out plan would be if somehow someway Amir's balls somehow became functional and his mouth wrote a check that his glass jaw wasn't able to cash."
"We came to the agreement that by removing his testicles now we can eliminate the possibility of this deal being ruined by either party. Furthermore to recoup expenses related to the procedure we have decided to broadcast this castration live on HBO PPV for an extremely low price of $19.95."
Schaeffer pointed out that this would appeal to English viewers because "Most of them have never even heard of circumcision. This will really open their eyes."
As if this whole matter wasn't strange enough Schaeffer left me with one final comment.
"Once we have removed the testicles and Amir settles into the new feeling we can start looking at the possibility of removing his penis and altering his sex organs to make him essentially female. This could allow Amir to capitalize by becoming the first 2 Gender World Champion."
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