Can you imagine if Mikkel Kessler had starred in The Seventh Seal?

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  • !! Anorak
    • May 2026
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    #1

    Can you imagine if Mikkel Kessler had starred in The Seventh Seal?

    You remember that one, right? An old Swedish film about death challenging a man to a game of chess on virtue of his life. Starring Max Von Sydow, some hurdy-gurdy Euro Schneller with an ayrian look.

    But what if Mikkel was that blonde, blue-eyed opponent playing chess for his life? This is what would happen after Death moves his first pawn:




    Mikkel: "Schnell... nein, nein. I give uppenshun. You vin."

    Death: "wtf??? I've only just moved my pawn, Mikkel, we've only just started. It can still go either way."

    Mikkel: "Nein... I izt are behind, I am resigned to defeatshun. You kill me now, you have von zee game of chess."

    Death: "Look, you twat, we've got to get a whole film out of this ****ing thing, you can't just mentally quit and give up as soon as you're a move down. What kind of **** are you?"

    Mikkel: "I izt are carry on, but I just move pieces half-heartedly, I know now that I vill lose."

    Death: "FFS! What a prick!"




    Mikkel: "Now you izt are und trapping me in zee jail cell. In my country I are izt used to referees giving me the key and letting me walk out of the cell."

    Death: "Jesus Christ, will you stop bitching already, ****?"

    Mikkel: "And you are too closeshun. My referees in Schnell Land don't let zee opponent get too close, I get to vork from distance, ya."

    Death: "FFS, that's it, I'm off."





    "I've had about as much as I can stand from that Robo Schnell... Jesus, what a complete ****ing prick!"
  • KLUGMAN
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    #2
    The 400 Blows might be a good one for Kessler.

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    • GoogleMe
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      #3
      You know Danish ain't German?

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      • !! Anorak
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        #4
        Originally posted by GoogleMe
        You know Danish ain't German?
        He is whatever I say he is.

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        • Grand Champ
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          #5
          Originally posted by GoogleMe
          You know Danish ain't German?
          To most of these people Denmark is the capitol of Sweden..

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          • Guest
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            #6
            Originally posted by Grand Champ
            To most of these people Denmark is the capitol of Sweden..
            eh, Denmark is just northern Germany, except the island Bat lives on.

            That part is in Sweden.


            I like the theme. Great post.

            Who wants to quibble with trivialities such as different language and culture.

            I appreciate the Nordic theme.

            I imagine a round with death going exactly as the ts has chronicled.
            Last edited by Guest; 11-28-2009, 09:58 AM.

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            • BOLLOCKS
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              #7
              Originally posted by !! Anorak
              He is whatever I say he is.

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              • Oasis_Lad
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                #8
                Good stuff, Annie, you tart.

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                • -Hyperion-
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                  #9
                  mikkel thought he could win just showing up........no gameplan at all...........he must have never watched ward if he didnt know hed get hugged al night.......

                  that said, ward was impressive

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                  • GoogleMe
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                    #10
                    Originally posted by -Hyperion-
                    mikkel thought he could win just showing up........no gameplan at all...........he must have never watched ward if he didnt know hed get hugged al night.......

                    that said, ward was impressive
                    I think he had a gameplan. Kessler is very humble and I think he'll prepare 100% for every fight. He just got outclassed. It was hurtful to see, but I knew that was going to happen...
                    Last edited by GoogleMe; 11-28-2009, 10:52 AM. Reason: Spelling

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