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Arum, Mayweather Begin Negotiations for Potential Pacquiao Fight (Satire)
Friday, November 20, 2009
Posted By Anthony Wilson 4:30 PM
The phone rings at 10:30 p.m. Thursday night in Floyd Mayweather's plush Las Vegas mansion - a.k.a. the "Big Boy Mansion." Mayweather is in his backyard, behind the steering wheel of his golf cart, as his young daughter rides along in the back. Meanwhile, his friend, rapper 50 Cent, is inside the house, cruising around on the Segway. Less than a week earlier, 50 and Mayweather had sat on Floyd's Big Boy Couch in his Big Boy Living Room and watched Manny Pacquiao destroy Miguel Cotto to win the WBO welterweight championship (and a record seventh world title in as many weight classes), an outcome that immediatley turned the public's undivided attention towards a potential once-in-a-generation-type mega-fight between Mayweather and Pacquaio.
50 cruises over to the phone and answers. It's Bob Arum.
50: Yo.
Arum: Hi, this is Bob Arum. Can I speak to Floyd, please?
50: Bob Arum?
Arum: Yes. Bob Arum.
50: You better not act a fool wit' my boy on them negotiations for that Pacquiao fight. I'll have some people come see you.
Arum: Who the hell is this? Who do you think you're talking to like that? I'm an original gangster. Me and Don King are like Corleone and Barzini. Why do you think they call me the Bobfather?
50: Yeah, well, whatever...you just do what I tell you...
Arum: Put Floyd Mayweather on the phone! Now!
50: Calm down, fool. Hold on.
(50 hollers for Floyd.)
50: FLOYD!!! TELEPHONE!!!
Floyd: WHO IS IT?!?!?!
50: IT'S BOB ARUM!!!
Floyd: HERE I COME!!!
(Floyd hops out of the golf cart and runs into the house, as his daughter joyfully skips along behind him. He grabs the phone from his homie.)
Floyd: 60/40.
Arum: Come on, Floyd. Word doesn't officially come out until tomorrow but I'm telling you right now we did 1.25 Saturday night. That's a quarter-of-a-million more homes than you did against Marquez...
Floyd: So? Pacquiao and Cotto sold that fight together. I didn't have hardly any help with Marquez and still did a millie. AND whoever I fight get they biggest payday. Money May, the King of the Throne, the cash cow, black man from the ******, sellin' big-time fights and makin' big money everytime out. Just like that. Ya dig.
Arum: You had big-time help with Oscar and Hatton and they were your biggest paydays, too...
Floyd: If I had fought Miguel Cotto Saturday night, we would've done more than what your boy did against Miguel Cotto. If Manny Pacquiao did 1.25 against Miguel Cotto, then Floyd Mayweather would have done AT LEAST 1.5, IF NOT MORE. I'm the face of boxing and everybody knows it. PERIOD!!!
Arum: Of course, you never would have been fighting Cotto because you're afraid to take risks...
Floyd: Floyd Mayweather ain't got to duck NO FIGHTER!
Arum: Yeah, right. And anyways, you're boring to watch. Manny Pacquiao is exciting, that's why people watch him and he's a bigger draw than you now Floyd...
Floyd: Manny Pacquiao and Miguel Cotto sold that fight together. What's your offer, Bob Arum?
Arum: 50/50.
Floyd: 50/50? What does that mean? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER...
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER, WHO HAS NEVER LOST BEFORE...
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER, WHO HAS NEVER LOST BEFORE, WHEN MANNY PACQUIAO HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT TWICE...
Arum: That was a long time ago, Floyd...
Floyd: It doesnt matter.
Arum: It does matter.
Floyd: It doesn't matter.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: No, it doesn't.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: No, it doesn't.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: Yes, it does.
Arum: No, it doesn't.
Floyd: Glad you agree with me.
Arum: What...hey, wait a sec...
Floyd: (laughs) ****** muthaf----‘.
Arum: (exasperated) Floyd, let's talk business like adults.
Floyd: We'll be talking business like adults when you give me my 60/40.
Arum: (sighs) Floyd, you call me when you're ready to talk business.
Floyd: I already talked business with you.
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I already talked business with you. You know my stance.
Arum: Call me back, Floyd...
Floyd: Bye ******, thanks for agreeing with me.
Arum: You gotta be pretty ridiculous to make me look reasonable, but kid you've...
Floyd: Kid you've nothing. I would rather talk to Brian Kenny than talk to you.
Arum: Bye, Floyd...hey, wait...who was that guy who answered the phone?
Floyd: Don't worry about it.
Click.
To be continued...
Posted By Anthony Wilson 4:30 PM
The phone rings at 10:30 p.m. Thursday night in Floyd Mayweather's plush Las Vegas mansion - a.k.a. the "Big Boy Mansion." Mayweather is in his backyard, behind the steering wheel of his golf cart, as his young daughter rides along in the back. Meanwhile, his friend, rapper 50 Cent, is inside the house, cruising around on the Segway. Less than a week earlier, 50 and Mayweather had sat on Floyd's Big Boy Couch in his Big Boy Living Room and watched Manny Pacquiao destroy Miguel Cotto to win the WBO welterweight championship (and a record seventh world title in as many weight classes), an outcome that immediatley turned the public's undivided attention towards a potential once-in-a-generation-type mega-fight between Mayweather and Pacquaio.
50 cruises over to the phone and answers. It's Bob Arum.
50: Yo.
Arum: Hi, this is Bob Arum. Can I speak to Floyd, please?
50: Bob Arum?
Arum: Yes. Bob Arum.
50: You better not act a fool wit' my boy on them negotiations for that Pacquiao fight. I'll have some people come see you.
Arum: Who the hell is this? Who do you think you're talking to like that? I'm an original gangster. Me and Don King are like Corleone and Barzini. Why do you think they call me the Bobfather?
50: Yeah, well, whatever...you just do what I tell you...
Arum: Put Floyd Mayweather on the phone! Now!
50: Calm down, fool. Hold on.
(50 hollers for Floyd.)
50: FLOYD!!! TELEPHONE!!!
Floyd: WHO IS IT?!?!?!
50: IT'S BOB ARUM!!!
Floyd: HERE I COME!!!
(Floyd hops out of the golf cart and runs into the house, as his daughter joyfully skips along behind him. He grabs the phone from his homie.)
Floyd: 60/40.
Arum: Come on, Floyd. Word doesn't officially come out until tomorrow but I'm telling you right now we did 1.25 Saturday night. That's a quarter-of-a-million more homes than you did against Marquez...
Floyd: So? Pacquiao and Cotto sold that fight together. I didn't have hardly any help with Marquez and still did a millie. AND whoever I fight get they biggest payday. Money May, the King of the Throne, the cash cow, black man from the ******, sellin' big-time fights and makin' big money everytime out. Just like that. Ya dig.
Arum: You had big-time help with Oscar and Hatton and they were your biggest paydays, too...
Floyd: If I had fought Miguel Cotto Saturday night, we would've done more than what your boy did against Miguel Cotto. If Manny Pacquiao did 1.25 against Miguel Cotto, then Floyd Mayweather would have done AT LEAST 1.5, IF NOT MORE. I'm the face of boxing and everybody knows it. PERIOD!!!
Arum: Of course, you never would have been fighting Cotto because you're afraid to take risks...
Floyd: Floyd Mayweather ain't got to duck NO FIGHTER!
Arum: Yeah, right. And anyways, you're boring to watch. Manny Pacquiao is exciting, that's why people watch him and he's a bigger draw than you now Floyd...
Floyd: Manny Pacquiao and Miguel Cotto sold that fight together. What's your offer, Bob Arum?
Arum: 50/50.
Floyd: 50/50? What does that mean? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER...
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER, WHO HAS NEVER LOST BEFORE...
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN 50/50 FOR MANNY PACQUIAO AGAINST FLOYD MAYWEATHER, WHO HAS NEVER LOST BEFORE, WHEN MANNY PACQUIAO HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT TWICE...
Arum: That was a long time ago, Floyd...
Floyd: It doesnt matter.
Arum: It does matter.
Floyd: It doesn't matter.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: No, it doesn't.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: No, it doesn't.
Arum: Yes, it does.
Floyd: Yes, it does.
Arum: No, it doesn't.
Floyd: Glad you agree with me.
Arum: What...hey, wait a sec...
Floyd: (laughs) ****** muthaf----‘.
Arum: (exasperated) Floyd, let's talk business like adults.
Floyd: We'll be talking business like adults when you give me my 60/40.
Arum: (sighs) Floyd, you call me when you're ready to talk business.
Floyd: I already talked business with you.
Arum: Floyd...
Floyd: I already talked business with you. You know my stance.
Arum: Call me back, Floyd...
Floyd: Bye ******, thanks for agreeing with me.
Arum: You gotta be pretty ridiculous to make me look reasonable, but kid you've...
Floyd: Kid you've nothing. I would rather talk to Brian Kenny than talk to you.
Arum: Bye, Floyd...hey, wait...who was that guy who answered the phone?
Floyd: Don't worry about it.
Click.
To be continued...
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