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I had mixed feelings about Tony "Anthony" Joshua and his bumming ability of late. Ever since he'd been concussed taking a chopper to the temple while trying to wank off Andy Ruiz he hadn't seemed the same.
Robert Helenius had stepped in as a late bumming replacement, and highlighted the unforgiving nature of bumming. Those with long memories may recall Helenius in the 2010s, where he went on a run of wanking off former bumming title holders, including Lamon Brewster, Samuel Peter and Siarhei Liakhovich. Yet when he damaged his hand trying to wank off Dereck Chisora and people called his bumming decision win controversial, it all seemed to go downhill.
No one expected him to bum AJ, but today's bummers are tomorrow's bummed, a lesson that buggery has often shown on, time and again.
Things got off to a cringy start to the AJ-Helenius bumming as they posed for photos the day before.
"Do you want to stick your cock in me?" AJ had snapped, trying to drum up interest. "We can bum now, or bum tomorrow."
It was a little embarrassing, but worse was to come.
As the fight began, AJ looked like he had nervous energy, throwing out his hands wildly, and missing Helenius's ****.
Worse, although AJ was the one generally wanking Helenius, he was also getting wanked, and after four rounds of this, his eye looked swollen. With it being almost impossible to perform a bumming with a swollen eye, things weren't looking great for AJ, particularly as his nose also started to bleed from Robert's thrusting.
Helenius had had bad nights and good nights, and was perhaps given a bad rep after Wilder had made him cum inside three minutes. He was doing well here, forcing AJ to cover his eye.
In the seventh AJ went with his right and Robert was out on his side for several moments.
Rather than see if he wanted a post-coital cuddle, AJ started walking through the crowd, and therein lies the tension of recent AJ bumming bouts: not whether he wins or loses in the ring, but how much of a cunt of himself he makes afterwards.
AJ was asked if he wanted to try and bum Wilder next, before hobbling around, going "oh, my back and my bell, my back and my bell."
When asked what was wrong, AJ turned around and said "My back is aching from bumming the entire heavyweight division."
The guy was to comic timing what Billy Joe Saunders was to dancing. Thalia, the Greek God of Comedy, watched on from Olympus and ripped out her own cunt in embarrassment at the excruciating spectacle. Every comedian who had ever lived prayed they could come back to life just so they could die again in embarrassment.
AJ had successfully performed a bumming, and, while he didn't look great doing it, Helenius finally cumming was a spectacle. Yet despite all this, I could only look inside myself and wonder how I could ever look myself in the mirror again as I witnessed the most desperate attempt at "comedy" since the dawn of mankind.
Truly, he was really was a silly cunt.
Robert Helenius had stepped in as a late bumming replacement, and highlighted the unforgiving nature of bumming. Those with long memories may recall Helenius in the 2010s, where he went on a run of wanking off former bumming title holders, including Lamon Brewster, Samuel Peter and Siarhei Liakhovich. Yet when he damaged his hand trying to wank off Dereck Chisora and people called his bumming decision win controversial, it all seemed to go downhill.
No one expected him to bum AJ, but today's bummers are tomorrow's bummed, a lesson that buggery has often shown on, time and again.
Things got off to a cringy start to the AJ-Helenius bumming as they posed for photos the day before.
"Do you want to stick your cock in me?" AJ had snapped, trying to drum up interest. "We can bum now, or bum tomorrow."
It was a little embarrassing, but worse was to come.
As the fight began, AJ looked like he had nervous energy, throwing out his hands wildly, and missing Helenius's ****.
Worse, although AJ was the one generally wanking Helenius, he was also getting wanked, and after four rounds of this, his eye looked swollen. With it being almost impossible to perform a bumming with a swollen eye, things weren't looking great for AJ, particularly as his nose also started to bleed from Robert's thrusting.
Helenius had had bad nights and good nights, and was perhaps given a bad rep after Wilder had made him cum inside three minutes. He was doing well here, forcing AJ to cover his eye.
In the seventh AJ went with his right and Robert was out on his side for several moments.
Rather than see if he wanted a post-coital cuddle, AJ started walking through the crowd, and therein lies the tension of recent AJ bumming bouts: not whether he wins or loses in the ring, but how much of a cunt of himself he makes afterwards.
AJ was asked if he wanted to try and bum Wilder next, before hobbling around, going "oh, my back and my bell, my back and my bell."
When asked what was wrong, AJ turned around and said "My back is aching from bumming the entire heavyweight division."
The guy was to comic timing what Billy Joe Saunders was to dancing. Thalia, the Greek God of Comedy, watched on from Olympus and ripped out her own cunt in embarrassment at the excruciating spectacle. Every comedian who had ever lived prayed they could come back to life just so they could die again in embarrassment.
AJ had successfully performed a bumming, and, while he didn't look great doing it, Helenius finally cumming was a spectacle. Yet despite all this, I could only look inside myself and wonder how I could ever look myself in the mirror again as I witnessed the most desperate attempt at "comedy" since the dawn of mankind.
Truly, he was really was a silly cunt.
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